#and struggling to allow yourself to be vulnerable | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

makoodles · 1 year ago

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ミi hear you like magic? i've got a wand and a rabbit!

part one | part two

🍓 pairing: simon "ghost" riley x fem reader

🍓 tags: nsfw, size kink, virgin!reader, oral sex, vaginal sex, rough(?) sex, some mild second-hand embarrassment perhaps, sex toys, edging, failed masturbation attempts, ghost takes your virginity and also maybe ruins you for literally anybody else ever again

masterlist

reblogs are always enormously appreciated!

The ceiling over your head is drab grey and water-stained, the old paint peeling away in strips. It’s an ugly sight, but you barely see it; you’re too busy trying to catch your breath.

The sheets beneath you are uncomfortably damp with your sweat, but you don’t have the energy to roll over just yet. You feel hot and itchy with frustration, and you scowl up at the ceiling above you as your fingers curl into fists. But even though you feel like laying in your now grubby-bedding for the rest of the evening, you can’t let yourself wallow. There’s going to be a knock on your door any minute, and this is not a position you want to be found in.

With an irritable groan, you haul yourself off the bed and to your feet. Your muscles ache and you feel too warm, but you reach for your clothes anyway. The worn cotton of your shirt feels scratchy against your skin, but maybe that’s just because you’re still over-sensitive and irritable.

You can never quite bear to look at the aftermath of what you’d been doing, so you avert your eyes as you gather up the bright silicone and plastic devices littering your mattress. It’s embarrassing now that the adrenaline has worn off and disappointment is beginning to set in, so you end up gathering them all up more roughly than necessary.

The term ‘toy’ seems incongruous to you. It sounds too childish, too immature. It makes you sound like a stupid kid, as though you aren’t a young adult past twenty fumbling your way through sexual self-exploration. It’s embarrassing, and much more frustrating than you ever would have predicted – despite all of your clumsy, desperate attempts at pleasuring yourself, you’ve never quite managed to reach that peak of pleasure you’ve heard other people talking about.

You grumble quietly to yourself as you try to wipe away the sticky lube that’s still coating your thighs. Your muscles are a little achy from all the tensing you’d been doing trying to come with that stupid vibrator, not even accompanied by the satisfaction you had been hoping for.

It’s not as though you’ve never gotten the opportunity to experiment with others; you’re not unforgivably ugly, you don’t think you have a bad personality, and for the past few years you’ve been surrounded by military men that certainly aren’t known for being picky. And it certainly isn’t like you haven’t received your fair share of offers.

It just never seemed right. You’re not overly concerned about ‘saving’ your virginity or anything like that; it’s just that putting yourself into such a vulnerable position is scary. You’re aware of the irony, of course, that you’d trust many of these people with saving your ass from catching a bullet in the field, but allowing someone to see you so intimately feels like a step too far.

You’re still sweaty and flustered and naked when a knock sounds from your door, and you freeze. The doorknob turns, but doesn’t open; in that moment, you’re deliriously grateful that you had turned the lock – it’s something that you’ve forgotten to do on far too many occasions.

“Lass, you in there?” Oh god, it’s Soap.

Cursing quietly to yourself, you jolt into action. Your pants are crumpled at the bottom of your bed where you had shed them, and you hurriedly gather them up and struggle your way back into them.

“Gimme a minute!” You yell, praying he doesn’t notice the somewhat frantic edge to your voice.

You stagger slightly as you worm your way into your pants, and then lunge to grab the stupid dildo you’d just been trying to use. You feel your skin prickle with humiliation as you try to force the stupidly large silicone cock into your already full underwear drawer, jamming it shut roughly to hide it from sight. You don’t want to even imagine what Soap might have to say if he were to see what you had been doing; you think you might have to go full deserter mode and abscond into the wilderness.

“Did ye forget about drinks?” Soap’s drawl carries through the thickness of the door. He doesn’t sound even slightly put out – if anything, he sounds a little amused.

You pause, close your eyes, sigh. Fuck. You had not, in fact, forgotten about drinks, you just thought you had more time.

“No, I– just a minute!” You yell back, shoving your shoes on and trying to fix your hair.

You had completely lost track of time, and now you don’t even have time to rinse your sweat-damp skin off – you’re going to have to sit through drinks with the squad all grimy, like a physical reminder of what you had been up to for the last two hours.

When you finally unlock the door and wrench it open, Soap is standing on the other side tapping a staccato rhythm on his thighs with his open palms. He’s dressed casually in just blue jeans and a black muscle shirt, and he gives you a look of semi-disbelief.

“What the hell were you—”

“Gym.” You interrupt, landing on the only explanation you can think of for your sweaty skin and messy hair.

Soap blinks, but apparently decides it’s not worth the effort to continue that line of conversation. He just shrugs, then turns and starts making his way down the hall, slowing his pace for you to catch up.

You exhale; Soap can be like a bloodhound when he suspects there’s gossip to be had, and you’re relieved to have dodged a round of his relentless questioning. You suppose he can be surprisingly tactful sometimes, and he knows you well enough not to press you. Or, perhaps it’s because you come across as such a non-sexual being that it doesn’t even occur to him that there may be another explanation.

There’s an unofficial tradition that when the squad is on base, everyone gathers in the sparsely decorated recreation room for drinks and card games on Thursday evenings. It usually makes for an enjoyable night; Gaz and Soap can always be trusted to supply whatever bottles of alcohol they’ve managed to get their grubby little hands on, and it’s always amusing to watch Captain Price get increasingly more irate as Soap pretends not to understand the rules of whatever card game they’re playing. The whole illicitness of having contraband on base only makes the whole thing more exciting; the CO’s on base often turn a blind eye to the activity, so long as it’s kept under control.

But tonight, you’re distracted.

The others had offered a bit of good-natured ribbing when you and Soap had turned up late, but before long you’re all settled in a loose circle on the poorly-stuffed couches in the corner of the room. Gaz has already unstoppered a bottle of bourbon, and is attempting to convince a visibly unimpressed Price to play a game of Kings with them. You curl up on one of the worn-out couches opposite them, watching with a small if slightly stiff smile.

The atmosphere is relaxed and pleasant, almost enough to make you forget about the irritating buzz of unfulfilled arousal under your skin. You shift, trying to keep your movements small, subtle, to avoid the notice of your team. Your denim jeans are nowhere near as comfortable as usual, and you wonder briefly if you should have simply worn your cargo pants just to avoid the harsh friction of the denim.

You sit there feeling… unmoored. You fidget, drink your smooth bourbon in sips in an attempt to avoid wincing, and try not to look as obviously out of place as you feel. It’s been like this, recently. Joining the task force has been an accomplishment for you, a source of immense pride – you’re the youngest member (just narrowly beating Gaz for the title) and a woman to boot, and though the squad has never treated you any differently it’s hard to kick the belief that you have something to prove.

You engage in conversations the best you can, but you’re distracted and you know it must be obvious. Your preoccupation gets you a couple of furrowed brows and glances, but there seems to be an unspoken agreement to give you some space.

You don’t even realise the extent of your distraction until a big body settles down on the loveseat next to you, and you jolt. True to his name, Ghost had appeared near silently, escaping your notice until he lowers himself down to sit next to you.

And damn, you forget how big he is sometimes. It’s an average sized loveseat, but the lieutenant takes up over half of it. He’s obviously being mindful not to consciously crush you, but he’s not being overly cautious when it comes to avoiding touching you. He’s dressed unusually casually, and his thick, muscled thigh is wrapped in blue denim as it presses carelessly against yours.

“You alright?” He asks, his voice low and smooth as he nudges your knee with one of his big knuckles.

You haven’t been a member of the task force for long, but you would know Simon Riley by his hands alone, by the earthy salt-spice in your nose as he leans a little closer to peer at your face. You tilt your head up, unable to stop the small reflexive smile that breaks over your face at the sight of him.

“Yeah.” You breathe, hurriedly straightening up where you’re sitting. “Yeah, sorry. Just thinking.”

His sudden proximity isn’t doing your current state any favours, and you take a quick sip of your drink in an effort to collect yourself. It’s taking a herculean effort not to stare at the way his biceps are bulging against the straining material of his black cotton t-shirt.

“What’re you thinking about?” Ghost asks as he stretches out his legs with a tired groan. The sound is gruff and gravelly, and you feel blood rush uncomfortably to your cheeks.

“Nothing.” You say quickly.

He doesn’t believe you, that much is obvious, but Ghost never pushes and he rarely speaks more than he has to. He just gives you a glance, brief and knowing and far more penetrating than it should be, before turning his head back so he can watch the boys playing their card game. He’s holding a crystal tumbler filled with dark amber liquid, but he hasn’t yet pulled his mask up to drink from it.

Your eyes drop to the thick, pale scars that mar the backs of his hands. You trace the path of the scar tissue, eyes lingering around the thick knuckles and broad palms, the way that he holds the glass so casually confidently. He’s got nice hands, probably made all the more attractive by the fact that you hardly ever get to see them. Seeing Ghost without his usual long sleeves and gloves makes you feel like a Victorian pervert snatching stolen glances at a passing lady’s ankles.

A quiet snicker causes your eyes to dart back to his face, and you’re mortified to find that he’s caught you staring.

“What’s got you in such a mood?” He asks. Even through the mask you can tell that he’s smirking, though it doesn’t feel as though he’s making fun of you.

“Just one of those days, I guess.” You say without meeting his eyes.

It’s an evasion at best, but Ghost nods ponderously as though he’s giving this great thought. His stare is penetrating, those big brown eyes watching you as though he can see right through you. Maybe he can. You try not to get too caught up staring at his pale eyelashes, darkened by smears of eyeblack.

“Did something happen?” He asks. The question is casual enough, asked as he lazily swirls his whiskey around in his glass, but his gaze is sharp and assessing.

“No.” You sigh, finally looking properly at him.

It’s a little frustrating, but the squad has been like this with you from the start – protective. Your whole military career has consisted of you veritably clawing your way up through the ranks, and you’ve been surrounded by coarse, gruff men that have underestimated you all your life. 141 is different – they don’t baby you, but the way they treat you is unmistakably softer than how they typically treat each other. The concern can be touching, if a little tiring sometimes.

And maybe it’s because he’s your lieutenant, but Ghost’s attention has always been just this side of overwhelming. It feels like you’re pinned beneath his dark eyes, his gaze somehow sharpened as he watches you from beneath his more casual balaclava, the skull pattern printed on his jaw adding another layer of intimidation. But his shoulders are relaxed as he sits next to you on the small couch, settling the weight of his attention over you like a blanket.

You’ve always respected him, admired him. How could you not? He’s practically a living legend, his reputation larger than life, and he’s scary as fuck. But he’s also softer than you had expected, gentle when he needs to be. He still rides you hard in training, pushing you to your limits and taking no quarter, but you can’t begrudge that. Not when you know he’s working to keep you alive. Perhaps that’s how the attraction had first bloomed; once it started, it was hard to stifle.

Ghost hooks one finger into his balaclava and pulls it up just high enough to expose his mouth, and he presses his glass to his lips to take a sip of his drink. You struggle not to stare like a moron, but he makes it so difficult. His lips are full and pink, and there’s a rugged scar bisecting his top lip. His stubble is dark blond and short, and it doesn’t hide the various scars and marks that decorate his strong jawline.

You almost jolt when he pulls the mask back down, hurriedly averting your eyes and forcing yourself to look out across the room. It’s not just the 141 that’s decided to take up in the rec room this evening; there are soldiers from other units littered all around the room, laughing and joking, playing lazy games of pool on the table in the corner and smoking. The smoke alarm has been jimmied off the ceiling and the window is open, and even Price is turning a temporary blind eye to the blatant disregard for regulations in favour of puffing on one of his cigars.

Ghost shifts on the worn-out fabric of the couch, and lays an arm over the back of the headrest behind you. It’s a casual, thoughtless movement, but it ends up pushing his body slightly closer to you in a way that makes you feel as though you’re about to catch fire.

You cross your legs, but the seam of your jeans presses into your pussy in a way that sends a frisson of heat up your spine. You hurriedly uncross your legs, and attempt to school your expression into casual neutrality as you force yourself to tune back into the conversation.

“–ach, c’mon, Captain,” Soap is saying in a wheedling tone that he probably thinks is endearing. “One round of strip poker won’t kill ya–”

“No.” Price says in a voice like thunder, brooking no argument as thick cigar smoke pours from his nose. It gives the impression of an enraged bull.

Soap either is ignorant to the warning, or is choosing to wilfully ignore it. Judging by the sly gleam in his eyes, you can guess which. He turns to you then, and waggles his eyebrows.

“C’mon, lassie, you’ll play, won’t ya?” He asks with a grin that promises trouble. “I guarantee you’ll be a sight better than any o’ these louts.”

“Speak for yourself,” Gaz pipes up, already grinning. “I was looking forward to seeing the Captain in his jocks–”

Price promptly knocks his drink back, before pushing himself up to his feet with a grim groan. “Right. That’s enough of you lot for one night.”

Gaz and Soap break into peals of laughter, settling back into their seats as they watch their captain march away.

“Offer’s still open, love,” Soap says, still snickering when he looks over to you. “Wanna play?”

Ghost shifts, his wide thigh knocking into yours as his arm stretches behind your shoulders. He lets out a short exhale through his nose, but when you glance up at him you find him as stoic and hard to read as always.

You just roll your eyes. It’s not the first time that they’ve tried to rope you into strip poker, and you’re sure it won’t be the last. You can always trust Soap to start stripping his clothes off when he’s three drinks in, whether he’s playing a game or not, so it’s not surprising that he tries to involve other people in his bad decision making.

And it’s not a big deal, really. There’s been countless missions and operations that have ended up with all of you staying in uncomfortably close quarters with each other. You’ve seen them naked countless times, and the same with them for you. It’s never meant anything, and you know that Soap’s teasing is exactly that – you don’t think they’ve ever once looked at you through any sexual lens at all.

But even still, the joke flusters you more than it should.

“Think I’ll be joining Cap in going to bed, actually.” You say, clearing your throat and setting your glass down on the low table in front of the couch.

The playful booing from Soap doesn’t do much to change your mind, and you stick out your tongue at him and Gaz as you push yourself up from the couch. You try to ignore the loss of heat at your side when you move away from Ghost, though you can’t help but glance back at the lieutenant. He’s not looking at you, his gaze directed into his glass. You try not to feel disappointed about that.

You say your goodnights, and retreat from the rec room.

By the time you make it back to your dorm however, you’re already playing the conversation back over in your head and wondering if you had made the wrong decision.

Perhaps you should have just played the damn game. Despite your inexperience with all things sexual, you’re not actually all that shy about your body. On missions, you and the squad are often forced into tight quarters, and they've all seen you in various stages of undress before. It's hard to be self-conscious around a group of people that have seen you at your worst, whether that’s soaked in blood, unshowered, sleep-deprived, or injured.

But you were so keyed up from your earlier failed attempts at masturbation that the thought of being so physically exposed in front of your squad is mortifying. It feels as though your unresolved arousal is still simmering through your veins, turning your thoughts slow and soupy and stupid.

It’s not so surprising. Your preferred method of dealing with stress is coming back to your private bunk and messing around with your vibrator until you’ve forgotten all of your problems. The problem is, you’ve never quite been able to reach that climax you’ve heard so many talk about.

It’s not for lack of trying, and it’s not as though you haven’t come close to that toe-curling finish you crave so much. But it’s like there’s some sort of block, something that always holds you back before you can go plummeting over that edge. Something that makes the buzzing pleasure dissipate before your eyes like smoke, leaving you worked up and so frustrated. It’s probably inevitable that all those ruined finishes have built up like sludge in your veins, leaving you slow and distracted and irritable.

You eye your underwear drawer thoughtfully as you perch on your bed, before reaching inside and drawing out the same dildo you had been using earlier. You wonder if it would be too much to try again tonight – the muscles in your calves still feel a little bit over-worked from training all day, and you have a feeling that straining in an attempt to reach an orgasm you’ll likely never attain will only make it worse.

But the thought of Ghost in that stupid tight cotton shirt stays firmly stuck in your mind, and that really makes the decision for you. Before you can think too much about it, you’re sliding your jeans off and climbing atop your mattress. The sheets are dirty anyway, after all. May as well have some fun before you change them.

You slide your panties off next, then kick them to the side. It’s difficult not to feel a little pathetic, but you push those feelings aside. So what if you have an embarrassing little crush on a superior officer? It’s not like that’s unusual within the military, and you’re quite certain that dealing with all that unresolved attraction like this is the most sensible thing you can do.

You fish out the bottle of lube you had been using earlier, and drizzle it liberally along the dildo’s length before setting it aside on the blanket. While you’ve used your dildo plenty of times, you still struggle to grow accustomed to the stretch of it. It’s a good dildo – a vibrating one in the rabbit style, designed to stimulate your g-spot and clit at the same time. It was damn expensive too, but it’s one luxury you’re willing to indulge in.

You close your eyes, slide it between your legs, and hit the power button. A low bzzz emanates from between your thighs; you jerk at the immediate barrage of pleasure, your abs tightening and your legs twitching apart, creating more room between them.

Your body is quick to react, sweat prickling under your armpits and your heart thudding quickly in your chest. You can feel electric pleasure coursing through you as you press it against your clit, your toes curling into your sheets.

You bring the vibrator lower, your clit throbbing a little at its sudden absence before you press it inside, sighing. It slips inside much too easily – you’re almost embarrassed by the easy slide. You’re so wet, both from your failed attempt at masturbation earlier and from sitting beside Simon fucking Riley all evening. It’s a deeper, subtler pleasure now, and you clench around it with a quiet moan.

You cycle through the vibrator’s different settings, making it buzz at odd intervals or lower intensities in your usual attempt to build up an orgasm. You wish, with sudden and mortifying clarity, that it could be replaced with a person. More specifically, a person with big hands and firm muscles that still have some soft give to them, and a toe-curlingly gravelly voice.

You squirm, shifting your hips to change the angle of the vibrator inside you. Without meaning to, you imagine Ghost. It’s hard not to, considering your close proximity to him all evening. Your cheeks heat as you imagine Ghost actually being here, watching you all still and silent with that penetrating dark-eyed stare of his.

You huff out a breath, arching off your bed. This is always the best part. You have to ensure that you relish the build up, before it all fizzles out from between your fingers. You whimper, soft and quiet, clenching around the stiff silicone as it buzzes away inside of you.

Right as you press the soft little vibrating bunny ears to your clit, there’s a knock on the door. Then, horrifically, like a scene from your fucking nightmares, your door opens.

“Kid, you–”

Ghost is already half-way through the door when he lays eyes on you, and then he goes completely still in your doorway.

“Fuck.” You hiss, scrambling to knock the stupid thing off.

You fumble for it, panicking. The end is slippery and you can barely manage to grip it. When you finally do, it’s difficult to pull out, your body still attempting to hold it inside. It’s another agonising few seconds to turn it off, the vibrator unfortunately featuring one of those awfully thought-out designs that makes you have to cycle through every single one of the settings rather than hit an off-switch.

And then, finally, silence.

Ghost is living up to his name right now; he’s as stock still and silent as a dead man, stiff as a board as he stares unblinkingly at you. You’re not even sure that he’s breathing, but you can see the whites of his eyes as he gapes at you, frozen.

You stare back at him blankly, hoping that your bed comes to life and swallows you whole just to put an end to your mortification.

At last, Ghost blinks, then finishes his sentence. “You left your phone.”

He lifts his arm. In his large, thick fist, is your stupid goddamn phone. You must have left it on the couch when you had gotten up to leave. You might have wondered at the lieutenant voluntarily bringing it to your dorm for you, but you’re hit with a wave of humiliation so strong that it wipes your brain completely blank.

“Ah.” You say, and your voice cracks. “Thanks.”

There’s a moment of mortifying silence, and then Ghost steps into your room. Your heart jolts right up into the base of your throat as he closes your door behind him. The click of the door is as loud as a gunshot in the silence that’s settled over the room.

Ghost still hasn’t blinked. He’s watching you with eyes that look almost black in the dim light of your room, intense as a predator.

“I–” You attempt to speak, and your throat clicks dryly. “I didn’t–”

Far too late, you realise that your legs are still splayed open. You snap them shut, inhaling a choked breath through your nose.

“I thought I locked the door.” You finish lamely.

Ghost apparently decides to simply disregard that, which you’re honestly a little grateful for. Instead he steps towards you – the enormous bulk of him feels as though he’s completely filling every bit of space in the room, sucking out all the damn oxygen.

“...‘S this why you were so distracted this evening, hm?” He says as he approaches the bed. “You were in a mood ‘cause you wanted to get back to playing with yourself?”

It’s not a question, exactly. At least, it’s not phrased like one. Ghost’s tone is knowing, with an undertone of gruff amusement. You’re certain that you’re not imagining the rough, breathless quality to his voice either, though the thought sends nerves fizzing through your bloodstream.

“No.” You deny uselessy; it’s plainly obvious what you were doing, after all. “No, I just–”

He doesn’t wait for you to finish. His eyes are still glued to you, even though your thighs are now pressed together. Before you can stop him, he reaches down and takes a hold of your hot pink vibrator where you had been trying to hide it beneath your thigh.

“Cute little thing.” He comments, tilting his head to look at the dildo hanging between his thick fingers.

Mortification burns through you. A panicked sort of screech escapes you and you yank it back out of Ghost’s stupid big hand, shoving it under the blankets.

Perhaps if it had been anyone else, your humiliation wouldn’t be burning quite so intensely. But this is Ghost – your lieutenant, the gruff man that you’ve looked up to ever since you joined the task force. He’s not a man famed for his patience, nor for his eloquence, which is making this situation all the more unbearable.

“Lt,” You wheeze, scrambling to sit up and cover your pussy with your hands as you squeeze your legs closed. “I swear I didn’t– I’m sorry–”

But Ghost doesn’t seem interested in your apologies. He’s still watching you as though he can see right through the damn blanket, as though he’s measuring you up and trying to come to a decision about something. In that moment, you hate your reaction to him – no matter how humiliating this situation is, you want him to approve of you, even now.

“Didn’t mean to interrupt.” He grunts, and then he sits down on your bed.

You gape at him. It feels as though your brain has stalled; you’re pretty sure you’re not reacting correctly right now. You probably should have screamed when the lieutenant walked right into your room without knocking. That surely would have sent him straight back out again. And even now, you should probably be ordering him out, telling him to leave.

But you don’t.

“I was.. um.. finished anyway.” You manage to croak out. You sound so pathetic that you nearly make yourself cringe.

Ghost doesn’t answer immediately. He just watches you, his eyes as dark as ever beneath the mask. For a moment, you think he’s not going to answer at all.

But then he says, “Didn’t look like you finished to me.”

Blood rushes to your face so quickly that it makes you light-headed as you catch his meaning. Oh, what the fuck. This is just adding salt to the wound now.

“I wasn’t trying to–” You start, then cut yourself off. “That’s not why I was– I was just trying to relax.”

In the ensuing silence, you realise how silly you sound. At the very least, Ghost doesn’t laugh; he just tilts his head to the side, consideringly.

“Let me see.”

You gape at him. “I– sir–”

“Let me see, sergeant.”

It’s not an order. Not quite. Ghost’s voice is effortlessly assertive, but it falls just short of being a command. You have room to refuse. You could tell him to get out of your dorm right now, and he’d do it. Knowing the lieutenant, he’d never bring it up again, either.

You drop your knees apart, spreading your thighs in an unpracticed, self-conscious sort of motion.

Under the lieutenant’s sharp gaze, your skin prickles and your nerves strain. Even sitting down on your bed, he’s a veritable behemoth of broad shoulders and thick corded muscle. His hulking form towers over you even now, and you feel so damn small as you lay there propped up against your pillows in nothing but a t-shirt.

Ghost has seen you naked before, obviously. You can’t afford to be prudish in the military, where you never know when you’ll next have true privacy, and you’ve changed out and showered with the squad countless times. It’s never meant anything, and the men in 141 have never made you feel anything less than comfortable with them.

This, however, is different. This isn’t just a case of catching a quick glimpse of your nude form as you shower in the group shower rooms when you’re out on missions – your whole damn pussy is out on display for him, still glistening wet and sticky from your ministrations and the lube you’d used.

Ghost’s inhale is as loud as a thunderclap. You’ve never felt so exposed, so vulnerable in another person’s presence. You feel a little ridiculous laying like this as he watches you, but another part of you feels so humiliatingly desperate for some kind of approval from your lieutenant.

At first, that approval is nowhere to be found. Ghost is notoriously difficult to read, and you’re beginning to sweat as you lay there waiting for a response – any response.

At last, he makes a noise. It’s part grunt, part hum, and part groan.

“You’re still wet, sergeant.”

Are you imagining it, or is his voice an octave deeper than usual?

Your eyes trace his face, trying to imagine what he looks like beneath the mask. You can see the suggestion of his nose, the square curve of his jaw. His darkened eyes are watching you so carefully that you feel as though you’re physically being pinned in place.

You swallow. “It’s just– I–”

“You didn’t get to finish.” Ghost interrupts, with the air of completing your sentence for you.

You try to speak, but nothing more than a strangled sort of murmur escapes. You swallow hastily, then try again.

“I wasn’t going to. Sir.” You tack on the title at the end as an afterthought, but this whole situation is so far beyond professional that you probably needn’t have bothered. “Finish, I mean. I… I never do.”

You’ve admitted it before you can really think about it, and then you regret it wildly. You can’t help but wonder if you’ve overstepped a boundary, but then again the boundaries are currently so blurred that they’re virtually impossible to discern.

“You never finish.” Ghost repeats it. Slowly, staring right at your face, as though he’s confirming what you’ve just said.

It sounds so much worse in his deep, gravelly voice.

Embarrassment blooms, thick and sickly in your stomach. Your legs start to twitch closed, too embarrassed to be having this conversation with your cunt bared like this, but then Ghost’s big paw of a hand reaches out to settle over your knee, keeping you open and exposed. It’s so rare to see his hands ungloved, and the bare skin of his callous-roughened hand feels almost scorching hot against your inner knee.

“I don’t– I’ve tried,” You say, and you can’t help but feel as though you’re just digging yourself further into a hole, here. “But I don’t– I’m not able to. I mean, I’ve come close, I’m just not able to… you know.”

You trail off lamely, feeling like the biggest fucking loser ever. Why are you telling him this? Why the fuck haven’t you reacted properly, and kicked him the hell out of your room?

Deep down, a shameful little part of you already knows the answer to that. You’re feeling awfully, sickeningly hopeful. Having Lieutenant Riley in your dorm, sitting on your bed and staring so hungrily at the wet, swollen parts between your legs feels like something out of your wildest wet dreams.

His eyes flick towards your pink silicone rabbit dildo, half-hidden under your blanket, and he grunts consideringly before reaching out and taking it into his hands again. It’s standard-size, but it looks small in his big hands.

“You ain’t doin’ it right, then.” He says, so bluntly that you just blink at him. “Show me how you use it.”

For a brief, wild moment, you wonder if you’re experiencing visual and auditory hallucinations right now. Surely you can’t really be experiencing this right now – and yet the lieutenant is still watching you, and you’ve never disobeyed a direct order before.

He hands you the vibrator, then waits expectantly.

And… well. All you ever try to do is impress him.

You shuffle your legs open a little wider, ignoring the flustered heat that scalds your cheeks. You’ve never been all exposed like this in front of another person, and the weight of Ghost’s eyes on you is reminiscent of being under a spotlight.

You swear his eyes darken even further when you press the stiff silicone rabbit dildo to your cunt, if it’s even possible for that gaze to get darker beneath the thick balaclava and eyeblack smeared over the narrow strip of skin that’s visible.

The dildo sinks in so easily that it’s almost embarrassing, and your breath catches both from the stretch and the way Ghost leans in a little closer to see. Far from turning you off, you feel your body throb in response to his proximity, and your cunt flutters pathetically around the plastic toy. You shift, attempting to get a little more comfortable, but you can’t dispel the nerves fizzing in your blood as you attempt to push the dildo a little deeper under Ghost’s sharp gaze.

His big, hulking body is so perfectly still as he watches you that it’s making you a little nervous. The only reaction that you get from him is a small, considering hum, but even then you can’t figure out what it means. Your movements are a little clumsy, so hyper-conscious that he’s watching every single thing you do that you end up fumbling a little. He’s looking at you in the same way he assesses threats, his intense dark eyes examining every movement and reaction you make. It makes you feel small and jittery, especially when you realise that he’s judging you by what you’re doing.

“You gonna turn it on?” He asks, and oh god his voice has definitely dropped lower and huskier. You know you’re not imagining it.

You can’t even bring yourself to respond with words. You just make a strangled sort of sound of agreement, then clumsily hit the on button. The toy buzzes to life once more, and your toes curl absent-mindedly into the sheets as the soft silicone bunny ears pulse against your clit.

It feels nice, but you can’t manage to concentrate on the feeling. Hyper-aware of Ghost’s attention, you let out a quiet moan as you shift the vibrator inside you. It’s a little exaggerated, but you can’t help it – you feel like you should be putting on some kind of a show.

You glance back at Ghost’s face, trying to guess what he’s thinking; even through the mask, you can tell that he’s frowning. You feel your stomach clench anxiously. Have you done something wrong?

“This how you usually do it?” He asks.

You swallow thickly, feeling a bit stupid. “Um.. yeah.”

Ghost grunts. He doesn’t sound impressed.

“No wonder you can’t come.” He says wryly.

You go still, eyes widening. In the silence, the bzzzzt! of your stupid vibrator is louder than ever. A sudden wave of shame washes over you, and you start to close your legs again in an effort to block the sight of the toy stuffed into your pussy.

“Oh,” You snap sourly, your embarrassment making you irritable. “So you’re the pussy expert now?”

That startles a loud bark of a laugh out of the lieutenant, a sound so rare that you find yourself desperately trying to commit it to memory.

“Think I might know a bit more than you, sweetheart.” He says. He’s relaxed now, his wide shoulders rolling back. He’s always so effortlessly confident, always so assured in himself and his abilities in a way that makes you feel like a silly little girl.

Judging by the way the corners of his eyes are just slightly wrinkled beneath the mask, Ghost is smirking at you. He finds this funny.

“What about when you’re with other people, hm?” He asks, and his eyes drop back down to try and get a look at you again. When he realises that your legs are clamped tight together, he reaches out to guide your thighs apart again. “No one’s ever impressed you?”

His hands are big and rough and hot, and your willpower crumbles like wet paper as you allow him to open your legs all over again. The vibrator is still buzzing sadly inside you, mostly forgotten about; the stimulation is nice, but it’s never been enough for you.

You huff a weak laugh. You should have known that this would come up, and now you find yourself floundering a little.

“No one’s ever tried.” The confession comes out like a whisper, like a secret.

You can see the moment Ghost understands; realisation settles heavy over him like a physical weight, and the whites of his eyes flash as they widen just slightly. For a moment, he says nothing at all. He doesn’t move – it doesn’t even look like he breathes.

“No?” He says, except it doesn’t really sound like a question. It sounds rough, and you can feel the almost convulsive motion of his fingers tightening around your knee.

You shake your head wordlessly, beyond embarrassed now.

Ghost’s wispy blond eyelashes flutter softly as his eyes dart down to your pussy, still humiliatingly stuffed with your stupid little vibrator. He takes a moment to stare, then looks back up to your face. He’s so frustratingly confident about everything he does, not an ounce of shame in his posture even as you wilt beneath him.

“Never messed around with anybody?”

“No.” You say, and it comes out on a wheeze. He holds your gaze without faltering, and you realise that he’s expecting you to elaborate. “No, I– it just never happened. I was never… um, I was just always too busy, I guess.”

“Too fussy, more like.” He mutters, quiet enough that it seems like it’s a comment meant just for himself. You don’t know how to take that, so you chew your lip and stay quiet.

His eyes drop down to the vibrating dildo again, and you recognise something that looks like a flash of hunger. It feels like there’s pressure building up beneath your skin, tight and hot, and your thighs fall open a little further. You feel raw and so, so exposed, but you don’t even care when Ghost is looking at you like that.

“Let me try.” He says, the words falling out sharp and harsh as though he they’ve burst out of his mouth before he can stop them. It’s not like Ghost to speak without thinking it through, perfectly calculated, and your breath catches a little at the offer.

How could you ever say no to that? You don’t really think that he’s going to succeed in making you come – at this point you’re pretty sure your body is a little bit broken and you’re just not capable of orgasming at all, and that’s whatever – but the chance to get fucked by Ghost? To lose the lingering vestiges of your viriginity to your ridiculously hot, mysterious, massive lieutenant? It’s like something out of a dream.

“Okay.” You choke out, nodding stupidly. “Yeah.”

You want to be touched. You don’t think you’ve ever actually felt the yearning for physical contact this strongly in your life; you’re practically holding your breath as you wait for Ghost to make a move.

Finally, he reaches out. His first move is to pull the stupid little dildo out of you, still vibrating, and you feel yourself clench convulsively around nothing as he leaves you empty and wanting. He spares it a brief, evaluating glance, and you feel yourself burn as you realise he’s examining how you’ve soaked the toy.

He tosses it to the side, barely even taking the time to switch it off first, then turns his attention back to you. He’s got that same kind of laser-focus he usually only gets out on the field, and you take a moment to feel incredibly grateful that you’re never going to be on the receiving end of that terrifying scrutiny on the battlefield.

It feels like your skin is too tight for your body, every nerve and synapse strained and primed as you wait for him to touch you. But he’s slow about it, as though he just wants to torture you a little bit.

When he finally reaches out to lay his hands on you, he doesn’t touch where you want him to.

His callous-roughened hands land on your hips, and pull you down the bed towards him. In the same move, he half-climbs up on the mattress, his huge form practically dwarfing you. Your head and shoulders are still cushioned by your pillows, but your legs are splayed open around Ghost where he kneels on your bed.

You glance down, unable to help yourself, unable to resist trying to catch a look at the outline of his erection pressing against his trousers, and oh. Fuck. He’s big. You knew he’d be big, of course, he’s big all over, but Jesus Christ, maybe you’re a little out of your own depth here–

His thick fingers tangle in the hem of your t-shirt, stretching the fabric out. “Take this off.”

You scramble to do as he says, grabbing at your top and pulling it up clumsily. You realise a moment too late that you’re not wearing a bra, but you suppose at this point it hardly matters. You drop your shirt to the side, and try not to feel too horrifically self-conscious beneath the burning hot gaze of the lieutenant.

Though you can’t see Ghost’s face, you can hear the soft exhale he blows out through his nose, just faintly muffled by the fabric of his mask. His eyes are trained on your chest, darting between each of your tits as though he can’t decide which one to settle on. After a long moment, he reaches forward and cups your left tit with one of his enormous hands, thumbing absently at one of your nipples.

It’s silly; Ghost has touched you before. Lots of times. A nudge of the elbow accompanied by a conspiratorial eye roll, a clap to the shoulder, rough hands pulling you to your feet after training or applying white-hot painful pressure to injuries. But this – you’ve never been touched like this before, not by Ghost, not by anyone.

The shaky breath you let out as his big, rough thumb rolls over your firm nipple comes out as a strangled sort of moan that honestly startles you a little. The noise catches his attention, and he snorts.

“Can’t be that sensitive.” He mutters, but then he reaches to thumb at your other nipple as though trying to be sure.

It’s because you’ve never been touched like this by another person before, you tell yourself. Truthfully, you’ve never even touched yourself like this before. You’ve never bothered to play with your own tits; you’ve always just gone straight to breaking out your vibrators. Now, with every brush of Ghost’s scarred fingers over the tight bud of your nipples, you think you must have been crazy to skip over this part of yourself. But then again, there’s no way that your own hands on yourself would elicit the same sharp jolt that shoots from your breasts down your spine.

“Sir–” You breathe, struggling not to squirm where you’re laying. You wonder, somewhat deliriously, if it might be rude to demand your lieutenant stuff his thick fingers into your pussy. You can already tell that they’re going to feel so much better than your own.

Ghost glances up at you, his eyes unreadable as he watches you bite at your lip. God, his little wispy eyelashes are so blond—

“What?” He says, his voice deep enough that you swear you can feel it rumbling through your bones. “Say it.”

“Want to try your fingers.” You breathe before you can second-guess yourself.

The laugh that rumbles out of Ghost’s chest is low and smoky. It’s probably impossible to miss the way your eyes have been drawn to his hands all evening, so big and corded with veins and muscle and scar tissue. You’ve witnessed those hands crack bones and snap necks and break down doors, and yet you can’t help but wonder desperately what they’re going to feel like when he starts touching you properly.

He adjusts himself on the bed; he’s a big man, hulking and huge as he kneels on your mattress, his weight causing it to dip. His palms wrap around your ankles with ease, and he hauls you into place with a grim efficiency that goes straight to your pussy.

“Big brute.” You say, a little breathlessly.

He ignores you, using his arms to hold your legs open and wide for him. And all you can do is just lie there as he stares, because goddamn it’s like he’s been carved from steel and you can’t break out of his grip. Not that you want to break out of his grip anyway, but you’d really appreciate it if he actually got moving instead of just staring.

“Fuck,” He grunts after a moment, with the air of talking to himself. “Been hiding this all this time, huh?”

“Jesus.” You breathe in response, subconsciously letting your legs drop open even more.

He makes a low noise of appreciation, and finally reaches out to touch you properly. One thick thumb swipes through the seam of your cunt, and you feel the way he’s smearing the clear sticky wetness that’s been leaking steadily out of you. With his now slick thumb, he drags up towards your clit and circles it with agonisingly light pressure.

You let out an embarrassing choked whine, your toes curling at the sensation. Somewhat ironically, Ghost is handling you far more gently than you usually touch yourself, and you find yourself flexing your hips in an attempt to get him to touch you with more pressure. He ignores your attempts, keeping his pace implacably steady and slow.

“D’you always get this wet?”

You can’t even tell if he’s asking you mockingly or if he’s being genuinely curious; it feels like every inch of your focus has narrowed down to the feel of his big thumb rolling those tight little circles around your clit, his touch scorching against you.

It’s not exactly surprising that Ghost is good with his hands. You’ve seen the way he handles weaponry, locking and loading and aiming to fire with the kind of swiftness that comes from muscle memory, working with unwavering speed and precision. He’s the same in hand-to-hand combat, moving with aggressive fluidity that overwhelms his opponents. You’ve caught hits from him before in training, and you know from experience that a punch from those big hands feels like getting hit by a cinder block.

But even knowing how deft and skilled his hands are, it knocks the breath out of you when he slides his middle and ring fingers inside of you, still rubbing steadily at the swollen bump of your clit.

When you exhale, it accidentally comes out as a moan. Your cheeks burn, but there’s really no space in your brain right now for embarrassment to sink in. Two of Ghost’s fingers are the equivalent of at least three and a half of yours, and you feel yourself break out into an overwhelmed sweat when they twist and rub against the sensitive squishy spot in the front wall of your cunt.

You’re so damn worked up, your arousal coiled like a knot in your lower belly from your failed attempts to get yourself off all day. Your back curves, humping yourself near mindlessly back up into his hand as he plays you like a goddamn instrument.

You barely even have time to consider how unfair it is that Ghost is so good at playing with you like this when he doesn’t even have a pussy himself, because then he pulls his fingers out of you.

“Oh, no, don’t stop–” You start to protest breathlessly, your chest still heaving, but the quick glance the lieutenant sends you has you falling silent.

Ghost glances down at his fingers. They’re all glossy from fingering you, and he takes a moment to eye up the way they glisten in the dim light of your bunk. You might have felt self-conscious about it, if you couldn’t see the unmistakable gleam of hungry interest in Ghost’s dark brown eyes.

He wipes his hand on the crease of your hip, but you don’t even get the chance to protest before he reaches up to hook his fingers into his mask. You go still, holding your breath in surprise as he pulls the material up until it bunches up around the bridge of his nose.

And that’s– well. You’ve seen his jaw before, and his mouth (Jesus, you had seen it earlier that evening, when he had been sipping on his smooth whiskey of choice), but the sight of his strong jawline and blond stubble and corded scars on his pale skin always manages to knock the breath out of you. And this time, he’s rolled his mask up even further than before, revealing a nose that’s clearly been broken at least once before.

You probably shouldn’t stare so blatantly, especially knowing that Ghost always takes such pains to keep his face covered. You’re not even sure if the other guys on the team have seen his uncovered face, except for Price, and you know that they’ve developed a habit of averting their eyes when he pulls his mask up for whatever reason. It’s a habit that you never quite managed to develop yourself; you’re never able to stop yourself from gaping at him like a moron, drinking in all of the minutest details. He’s never said a thing about your penchant for staring, so you can only hope that he’s chosen to ignore it.

You’re so busy staring that it takes you by surprise when he grips your jaw with one massive hand and pulls you into a rough kiss.

The sound you make is small and startled, but it’s swallowed by Ghost’s demanding mouth. His lips are dry and a little chapped, but they feel scorching hot against yours. You reach up to grab at his arms – mostly just to ground yourself – but you find yourself almost immediately distracted by the firm bulge of his biceps beneath your hands.

Listen, you’ve kissed people before, plenty times. You’re in your early twenties, and just because you’re inexperienced sexually it doesn’t mean that you’re inexperienced full stop. But this, right now, kissing with Ghost, makes you feel as though you’ve been doing nothing but fumbling your way through all of those encounters, like you’ve been kissing wrong all this time.

It’s slow and deep, at first. All-consuming. It lights a fire in your gut, which expands and spreads throughout your body until you find your fingers grasping desperately at the short cotton sleeves of Ghost’s t-shirt where it’s stretched over his thickly muscled arm.

Ghost doesn’t just kiss with his mouth, either. It’s like a full-body experience with him; he puts his hands, his whole damn body into the kiss. He clutches you to him, holding you close even as the force of his kiss bends you backwards into the pillows beneath you. At the same time, it’s all you can do to concentrate and respond to the kiss itself, your attention stretched and strained by the feeling of Ghost’s hands running over you, stroking you sides and squeezing at your breasts and groping at the soft flesh of your hips and ass.

“Hah,” You gasp out when Ghost’s lips slide sideways to find the corner of your jaw. His mouth is hot against your skin, bruising, and you feel yourself grow embarrassingly wetter, just from a little kissing.

“You good?” Ghost grunts into your throat as he nips at the base of your jaw.

“Uh huh.” You manage to get out, still clutching at his meaty arms like they’re a lifeline. “So good.”

His breath is hot on your throat when he rumbles out a deep chuckle, and then his tongue flicks out against your earlobe. It makes you forget how to breathe for a second, and you’re distracted when Ghost’s hand changes course, easing beneath your legs so he can press his fingers against your clit again.

Then he pauses, and his fingers slide lower, lazily hooking back and inside you. You tremble, horny and humiliated as you realise that your arousal is glistening all over your damn thighs, impossible to miss.

“Fuck,” Ghost mutters. “All this for me, sweetheart?”

“Hnng,” You whimper like an idiot as his fingers return to your clit, now slick and slippery. “I’m just–”

He doesn’t wait for you to explain. Instead, he pulls his fingers out of you again and kisses you hard. The soft breathy noises you make are muffled into his mouth, and you wrap your legs around his waist automatically. He’s built like a damn mountain, your thighs stretched wide to accommodate the bulk of him as he settles against the core of you.

He likes that – he presses in close, and you can feel the hard line of his cock pressing up against you through the roughness of his jeans. You’re so sensitive that the coarseness of the fabric is almost unbearable, but you’re able to ignore it because you’re so distracted by the sensation of his erection because holy fucking shit that can’t really be how big he is.

You gasp, the sound high and breathy, and you try to grind against Ghost, but it’s impossible because he’s so fucking heavy and he’s pinning you down on the mattress beneath him. Instead, all you can do is squeeze your legs and pull Ghost in even tighter, increasing the pressure between the two of you.

“I’m gonna ruin you,” Ghost whispers, and it sounds like a promise. He drags his lips up your throat, then talks against the corner of your mouth. “You won’t be able to touch yourself again without wishing it was me.”

The wave of desire that rocks through you almost pulls you under, and you swear you might have actually gotten so horny that you blacked out for a second, because from one second to the next Ghost has somehow managed to muscle his way back down between your thighs so that he’s eye-level with your cunt.

“What are you–” You start to say, but then he loops his forearms under your knees to tug your legs wider, and you realise just how close his face is to your pussy. You swear you’re actually pulsing with arousal, and you wonder a little wildly if he can see that.

“Oh, fuck, yes — please,” You blurt out, before Ghost has even gotten his mouth on you. He chuckles, low and amused. His grin looks predatory, but in this moment you really don’t mind being the prey — not if it means you’ll be devoured by that mouth.

Then Ghost’s mouth is against you, wet and burning hot. You cry out, barely noticing as Ghost throws one of your legs over his shoulders, spreading you open.

It’s just the right side of overwhelming. Ghost’s mouth feels like it’s going to swallow you whole – his tongue is huge and flat and firm as he licks over your clit, making your thighs quake on either side of his head. It’s entirely unlike any of the fumbling masturbatory attempts you’ve ever made – you always enjoy messing around with your various little sex toys, but you’re swiftly beginning to realise that it could never compare to real human contact. Or at least, contact with Ghost.

His hands move from your waist to your asscheeks, his big palms squeezing the plump flesh there before using his grip to pull your body closer so that he can bury his whole face between your legs. The rougher material of his mask presses harshly into the sensitive skin of your inner thighs, but you hardly even notice it.

Your pussy has never been this wet before; it feels like you’ve sprung a goddamn leak. You might have felt embarrassed about it if it weren’t for the way Ghost groans against you, his wide tongue laving flat and rough against the seam of your cunt as he practically gulps down all the sticky arousal you have to give him.

“Oh god– fuck! Sir…” You sigh, spreading your knees farther apart so that Ghost can wedge his head further between your thighs.

Your ears burn as your room is filled with sounds of him tonguing at your cunt, the lewd wet squish of him working you over until you’re keening, your hips twitching clumsily until his hands tighten where he’s gripping the plump flesh of your ass to keep you still. Then all you can do is twitch as he licks over your clit in repetitive lapping motions, working in circles and then dipping down to shove his searingly hot tongue inside you. You can feel his teeth press against your labia even as he sucks at your clit, and the sensation sends hot bolts of pleasure rocketing down your spine.

Though you don’t mean to, you’re pretty sure that you make his job harder. You can’t stop wriggling, tossing your head back against your pillows and squirming on Ghost’s tongue in a wild overstimulated dance, like a fish caught in a net.

Finally, Ghost seems to have enough of your unco-ordinated flailing attempts to grind against his face. He reaches around your thigh with one arm to reach your clit so he can keep it stimulated as he gulps at the sticky sweetness of your cunt like a man possessed – the action also works to keep your hips pinned down and still. You stop your frantic moving, but your spasms and sounds increase tenfold.

You can hardly believe it, but you feel something coming. A sweet, torturous build up starts in your belly, and you sweat and gasp as he licks and suckles at you relentlessly. You’ve never found yourself in this state so quickly before, with your legs trembling and your breathing heavy and shaky.

“Oh.. oh…” You breathe, beginning to arch your back.

You know this feeling – this is where that sweet climax builds and builds, only to dissipate at the last agonisingly close moment. But this time, with Ghost’s big head between your thighs as his mouth moves against you, sucking, tasting, eating up everything you have to offer, the breath-taking pleasure doesn’t show any sign of slipping out of reach. It feels like for once you might actually reach that peak.

But then, right as you’re certain that you’re about to tip over that long-awaited coveted release, the bastard pulls away.

“No!” You practically shriek, attempting to sit up. “No, I was so close–!”

“Lie back.” Ghost orders, his voice like the crack of a whip.

You drop back obediently before you can even register that you’re moving, so conditioned to react instantly to that tone of voice coming from Ghost’s deep rumbling baritone. Your eyes are wide and betrayed as you stare at him, admittedly a little baleful.

God, but it’s hard to stay annoyed when he’s staring up at you from between your legs like that. His eyes are dark and hungry beneath the mask, and since it’s all pushed up and rumpled around his nose you get a toe-curlingly good look at his lower face. His chin is wet and smeared with your slick, and his lips are plump and pink and swollen from all the kissing and suckling he’s done to you. In a moment of near-delirium, you think that you understand now why he covers his face – his mouth is pretty in a way that shocks you, in a way that needs to be hidden for decency’s sake.

“You’re gettin’ greedy,” He grunts, turning his head and sinking his teeth into the crease of your thigh just to make you yelp. “Wait for it, love. It’ll be worth the wait.”

You don’t think you have much of a choice, so all you can do is lay back and hold on for the ride. He presses his mouth to you again, and you whimper softly as he tongues at your clit.

“No one’s ever eaten you out like this?” He asks, the words muffled into the damp curve of your thigh. It’s stupid, because you know he knows the answer to that is a resounding no, but it seems like he just wants to hear you say it out loud.

“No.” You say, your breaths sawing their way out of your chest.

“Hnn.” He makes some kind of grunting sound against you, his tongue flicking out to taste you again. “That’s why you’ve been so tense, huh? So fuckin’ desperate for someone to touch you?”

“That’s not– ‘m not tense,” You manage to get out, your breasts heaving as your thighs tense up where they’re thrown over his shoulders. “Maybe.. Maybe you’re too relaxed.”

Ghost huffs a hot little laugh at your hip because you both know that couldn’t be further from the truth. You doubt anyone has ever accused Ghost of being too relaxed before, but you don’t have time to feel stupid for it – not when Ghost is devoting the full force of his attention on you, deep breaths huffing against the wet skin of your pussy and making you shudder.

“That’s it,” He croons, his voice uncharacteristically soft and lilting. The rumble of it ripples through your limbs like lapping waves, his battle-roughened palm stroking and smoothing down your ass and thigh as he hauls you closer. “Relax, sweetheart. Fuck, such a pretty pussy. Fuckin’ criminal of you to keep this hidden away all to yourself.” And then, quieter, “Fuckin’ Christ, you’re wet.”

You’re not even sure that he’s talking to you. It seems more as though he’s talking to himself, and it just happens to be you he’s talking about. Your cheeks burn as the feeling of vulnerability sets in, but you keep your legs spread wide as he kisses your clit with his swollen pink lips. You want so badly to be good, for him to be pleased with you, that you push past your embarrassment as best you can.

There’s a budding anxiety in your belly that Ghost is wasting his time here. As much as you crave his touch and the build up, you worry that he’s going to get frustrated with you and your inability to actually orgasm.

But Ghost doesn’t seem to be in a rush. He seems perfectly fucking happy between your legs, and even with his mask all clumsily rucked up around his nose he presses his face into your pussy with his eyes heavy-lidded and hazy. Even when you shift a little in an effort to get him to go a little harder or faster, he just pins you still and continues at his own leisurely pace.

When he reintroduces his fingers, pressing inside and stretching you out with a light sting, you hiss and try to lift your hips again. His rough calloused knuckles brush against the inside of your soft inner thighs, making them quiver as he goes three fingers deep.

“Shhh, atta girl.” He mumbles into you, his words coming out wetly muffled since he doesn’t even both pulling his face back. “Fuckin’– shit, so good.”

The praise shoots liquid and molten through you, and you have to bite back a pathetic keen as you pulse around his fingers. You’re sure he must feel it, because he lets out an answering rumble and laps against your clit, then closes his lips and sucks.

“Oh god–”

“Shhh.” Ghost scoots forward so your knee can hoist over his shoulder. Then he angles his chin to kiss the skin on the inside curve of your knee as he pumps into you with slow, slippery fingers and ungodly squelching noises that only sparks you hotter. You can’t even tell if it’s sweat or tears dotting your face anymore.

Though Ghost’s eyes are heavy-lidded and a little fogged over, he hasn’t looked away from you once. The focused intensity of his gaze spears you through, because you’ve never been looked at like that. No one has ever seen you like this, no one has ever put effort into you like this, no one has ever been so determined to please you before. You don’t know how you’re ever going to recover from this; you have a terrifyingly distinct impression that he’s going to live up to his promise to ruin you for anyone else.

It feels as though your blood is boiling beneath your skin, and you nearly sob when Ghost pulls back. You’ve never been so close, and you want to scream when he takes his gorgeous fucking mouth away from your clit.

“Fuck.” You wet your lips, realising you were panting like a dog and your mouth is bone dry. “Fuck, Ghost, just—”

“Quiet, lovie.” His reply is hoarse and firm, his throat working hard to swallow as he peered down between you, his clever thumb delving slick circles over the taut bump of your clit, his other three fingers fucking with easy rhythm and purpose. It’s maddening, it’s infuriating, it makes you feel as though you’re about to break apart.

His fingers are pulled out, and then you feel firm pressure pressing into you yet again. Your head lolls as you attempt to sit up, your eyelids fluttering as you realise that he’s pressing your stupid dildo into you again.

“Oh, you bastard–” You start to complain, but Ghost doesn’t give you the opportunity to speak properly.

The dildo slides into you so easily, your sticky slick mixing with his spit making the slide almost effortless. You sigh, a build-up of pressure making your whole body feel as though you’ve been stretched out and pulled tight.

Now that you’ve been pushed to the edge, you linger by it. Ghost keeps you on that edge for what feels like hours, until your breaths are burning in your chest and the ligaments in your calves are screaming from all the straining you’ve been doing. Every roll of Ghost’s thumb over your clit sends sparks racing through your nerves, and your breathing is harsh and uneven as Ghost starts fucking you with the stupid vibrating dildo. The rhythm he sets is firm and unrelenting, pushing the silicone toy in and out and visibly relishing the wet squish of your cunt as it takes it deep.

Ghost huffs against the wet skin of your inner thigh, making you shudder. It seems like he’s enjoying this as much as you are, judging by the subtle roll of his hips against your mattress as he absorbs himself in fucking you with the dildo.

He experiments with the angle, adjusting the dildo until you cry out, jerking against the bedding, and whining “There!”. You needn’t bother telling him, though; Ghost has a sharp eye, and he’s so goddamn attentive. He’s already repeating the stroke, pushing the dildo in and bumping it against the same sensitive spot he had hit before.

It feels good, but it’s not enough. Now that you’ve felt the firm hot pressure of his fingers spreading you wide and the wet hunger of his mouth devouring you, you don’t think anything else will do.

He shifts, you catch the rolls of his hips against your mattress again, and you feel as though you’ve caught fire. You think of the glimpse you had caught of his hard cock, pressing against his jeans and making the fabric stretch taut, and you find yourself speaking without thinking.

Ghost pushes the dildo in once more, and you reach down to grab at his wrist as you ask breathlessly, “Can I try yours?”

He pauses; goes so still that it’s honestly uncanny, his eyes practically boring holes into you as he stares at your face. You grow flustered, your own eyes widening in response to your own words. Just because he’s deigning to touch you with his fingers and his mouth, doesn’t mean he’s actually planning to fuck you. Jesus, he’s your fucking superior officer. What were you thinking?

“I’m sorry,” You squeak. “That wasn’t appropriate. Fuck, forget I said that–”

Even beneath the mask, you can see the bob of Ghost’s Adam's apple as he swallows thickly.

“You sure?” He interrupts your rambling before you can get started. “I don’t... ‘m not good with virgins.”

There’s… there’s so much you could say in response to that. Namely, he certainly doesn’t seem like he’s bad with virgins, as evidenced by the throb of arousal still pulsing through your soaked cunt. He’s just had you sobbing at the mercy of his fingers and mouth, and all he has to say when you ask for more is that he’s not good with virgins?

Instead, what you say is a rather lame, “I’m not technically a virgin.”

Which is true. Sort of. Based on a technicality – you had bullied your damn vibrator through your stupid hymen years ago, and you’ve always thought the idea of virginity was a stupid one, anyway.

“Plastic cocks don’t count, darlin’.”

Blood rushes to your face so fast you feel light-headed as humiliation burns through you. Jesus, okay. That’s just mortifying.

“Oh, you think your cock is special, then?” You scoff, attempting nonchalance.

Ghost shifts, letting your legs drop from his shoulders, and kneels up on the mattress so that he’s looming over you. Fuck, every time you get a visceral reminder of how big he is, you feel a little faint. It’s like having a veritable wall of muscle caging you into your bed. Your thighs are spread wide to accommodate the size of him, and you find yourself absolutely captivated by the sight of him with his muscles straining against that stupid tight t-shirt, still panting lightly from his greedy gorging on your cunt.

He reaches out and drags a hand slowly from your cunt up over your belly, between your breasts, up over your sternum, to rest over your collarbones. It’s gentle – he doesn’t put an iota of pressure against your throat – but all you can fucking see is the swell of his bicep and the dark ink of his tattoo and the prominent veins running down the chiselled muscle of his forearm.

Good fucking lord.

“You’ll find out.” He says.

And oh. Okay then. Yeah, you sure fucking will.

He reaches down and unbuttons his jeans, and you can’t help but strain to try and watch. He pushes them down carelessly around his thighs, but doesn’t make any move to strip them off any further. You’re suddenly aware of the fact that you’re laying on the bed completely nude and exposed, while Ghost has only pushed his jeans down far enough to pull his cock out, but you don’t have any time to feel self-conscious about it.

His cock curves up against his belly, red and twitching. He’s fucking rock hard, and bigger than you had been expecting, bigger than any of your stupid little toys. Your mouth goes dry, and your eyes widen comically. Fuck. No wonder he’s confident. He’s not lacking in any way.

“D’you’ve a johnny?” He asks, one big paw of a hand taking his cock and stroking lazily at it until a bead of pearly precum oozes from the angry red head.

You’re distracted for a moment, staring at the way he fists his cock, before you blink back to yourself. “What?”

“A condom.” He enunciates slowly, as though speaking to someone he thinks is a bit thick.

“I know what you meant,” You snap, embarrassed. “But– no. Why would I? I’ve never…”

You can see the way his eyes crease and realise that he’s frowning beneath the mask, and you’re hit with a sudden bolt of panic – is he going to change his mind now? You can see the hesitation in the lines of his shoulders, but you think if he changes his mind about fucking you, you might just die.

“It doesn’t matter,” You blurt, “You don’t need one. I’m on the pill. I’m clean.”

Ghost cocks his head, but remains still. It’s almost unnerving, and you feel your toes curl into the bedsheets as you wait for an answer. He looks fucking predatory, hulking over you like a fucking behemoth as he watches you assessingly. You try your best to look confident, but you have a feeling that you just look desperately hungry.

He reaches up and hooks his fingers into the fabric of his mask and pulls it back down to cover his still slick-shiny mouth and jaw, and you’re gripped with sudden overwhelming panic and dismay that he’s changed his mind, that he’s about to leave you here wet and empty and wanting. In that moment, you throw your dignity into the wind.

“Please,” You beg pathetically, wriggling a little bit against your sweat-damp bedding in an effort to grind yourself against him. “Please, please, it’s fine, I swear, you don’t need one–”

“Fuckin’ hell.” Ghost grinds out, his voice rough and a little hoarse. “How can a virgin be such a fuckin’ slut?”

Some part of you wonders if you should be offended by that, but instead a frisson of heat runs down your spine. You know you’re not a slut – you’ve never searched for any sexual attention, and you’ve never even experienced someone else’s touch – but goddamn you want to be a slut for your lieutenant right now.

Despite his harsh words, when Ghost hooks your legs over his hips and aligns himself with you, he’s gentle. He’s acting like you’re something fragile; he’s so big that your legs are spread wide around his waist, his shoulders so broad that he’s blocking out the dim light from your lamp, and yet his touch is light against you as though he’s afraid to break you.

He’s still gripping his cock hard, and he slides the tip of it against your slick heat. You have a brief moment of alarm; even through the haze of arousal, you can recognise that this is going to be a tight fit. You breathe deeply, then begin to wiggle your hips in an effort to take him inside you.

He hisses, then one of his big hands grabs at your hip. “Fuck, stay still.”

“Put it in.” You beg, your voice coming out thick and stupid-sounding. “Fuck, please, c’mon, c’mon–”

“Kid,” Ghost bites out through clenched teeth, his voice low and gritty. “Need you to shut the fuck up for me.”

You manage to bite down on your lip, but you can’t stop yourself from pouting mopily at him with wide, wet eyes. You don’t understand why he’s making you wait – can’t he see how mean he’s being? You’re so fucking wet, so empty as you clench down on nothing, and your clit is so desperate for any kind of stimulation that it’s throbbing needily. The head of his cock catches at your opening, dipping in for a second before resuming its maddening slide up and down.

Ghost is still watching you closely, his brown eyes flickering from where the head of his cock drags through your sodden folds up to your pleading pouting expression. You can only imagine what kind of a sight you make, because his chest growls with a choked sort of groan.

“I know,” He murmurs, almost mockingly soft with you. “I know, you want it. Gotta give it to you slowly.”

You want to tell him that he doesn’t have to give it to you slowly, that he can go as fast and hard as he wants to, but some sense of self-preservation shuts you up. Instead, you nod clumsily as he rubs his cock over the slick folds of your cunt, lubing himself up with your own arousal. The feeling of his cock dragging over you, iron hard and velvety soft, so close to where you want it, is enough to have your head spinning dizzily.

You want to beg again, but you’re still trying to follow his order to be silent. You shift restlessly, biting back a whimper when he taps his cock thoughtfully against your clit.

Finally, he decides to put you out of your misery.

The thick crown of his cock pushes against the tight ring of muscle at the entrance of your cunt, and the gasp you let out is positively punched out of you. He goes slow, just like he promised, but you can still hardly believe it. He goes in and in and in, and yet he’s somehow not even halfway inside.

“Fuck,” You wheeze, punctuated by a strange little yowl. “Oh god, wait–”

You feel stuffed just from the first few inches, drunk already on the quiet little grunts he’s making. The stretch and the sting and the pressure inside you is glorious, so tight that you can barely even flex around him and you can’t even decide if it’s good or if it’s too much. Your eyes are hot and wet as overwhelmed tears begin to overflow, and you find yourself arching in a weak attempt to flex away from him and the devastating stretch.

God, he’s massive. You knew he would be, of course, but his size seems so much more significant when you’re being impaled on the end of his cock. Fuck, you can feel your vision go blurry as your eyes fill with overwhelmed tears. You’re mortified when a sob is ripped from your chest, harsh and thick.

“Shh, shh.” Ghost coos, his deep voice syrupy thick as he leans over you, the enormous bulk of him caging you into the mattress until your whole world consists only of him. “Just a little bit more.”

“Fuck,” You choke out, trying to arch away again but failing because he’s so big that there’s nowhere to go. “It’s not gonna fit!”

“Shh, lovie,” He rumbles, ducking his face down so that the rough cotton of his mask is pressed against the sweaty skin of your neck. “Relax’n let me in.”

“I– ‘m trying–” You whine, clutching at his biceps. “Jesus–”

You blink your eyes open, vision blurry from the tears clumping your lashes together, only to be met with the sight of Ghost’s deep brown eyes staring at you from beneath the black mask. He’s looming above you, his gaze made all the more intense by the fact that it’s the only part of his face you can really see.

“All that messin’ around with those plastic cocks, but you’re still this tight for me,” He says, his voice so deep that you feel it reverberate into your bones. “Deep breath.”

The breath you inhale at his instruction is rough and ragged, and he snorts a low breathless laugh in response.

When he finally drives his cock all the way in with one smooth stroke, all the breath is driven from your lungs. It feels as though his cock has been pressed all the way up into your chest, and the noise you make when you squirm on it is utterly pathetic.

Ghost’s hands are like steel clamps when they close around the plump flesh of your thighs, holding them up and pressing them back until they’re pressed against your belly. He looms over you, still almost entirely clothed as sweat beads over his thickly muscled neck. It’s like getting pinned down by a mountain, and you whimper as you’re speared open and prone by the weight of Ghost pressing down upon you.

He hasn’t even started to move yet, but you still feel overfull and raw.

“Too big,” You mumble, struggling to catch your breath. You choke on a sob and feel your eyes burn with unshed tears as your back arches. “Ghost–!”

“Shh.” He grunts. “Call me Simon when I fuck you.”

That… that does something to you. Molten heat rockets up your spine and pools in your belly, and you swear your pussy floods. It’s stupid, how being granted permission to call your lieutenant by his first name is somehow so much hotter than anything else he’s done so far.

“Simon,” You try it out. It comes out a little shaky, your voice little more than a weak whisper, but you swear you can see his eyes sharpen.

Apparently having come to the decision that you’ve adjusted enough, Ghost pulls his hips back only to drive back in.

“Oh!” You yelp, hips jumping, but there’s nowhere to go.

All you can do is lie there as he slides out, out, out, slow and careful and long, and then his hips snap forward and he impales you, pressing all the way into him. He does it again, and again, and you try to bite down on your tongue, try to not sound so pathetically wrecked, but you can’t. It’s like Ghost is puncturing your lungs and every time he fucks into you, you let out the most pathetic little mewling ah ah ah sounds.

You’re not quite prepared for how different this feels; it’s nothing like your stupid plastic dildo. Ghost’s cock is bigger, but it’s also hotter and with more give than you expected, and you’ve never been able to fuck yourself like this. Your plastic toys could never compare to the sensation of being pinned by your giant of a lieutenant as he ruts into you.

Ghost reaches up and roughly pushes his mask up so his mouth is exposed again before he leans in deeper, almost folding you cleanly in half, stretching in to claim your mouth in a kiss that’s not quite a kiss, but rather a fierce mash of lips and tongue as his rhythm picks up, riding you down into the mattress until you realised the screaming noise isn’t coming from either one of you, but the cheap standard issue bed frame.

All you can do is gasp with each deep, raw fuck. There are tears tracking lazily down your cheeks, having overflowed from your burning eyes, and you honestly think your lungs might collapse. You’re bent like a fucking pretzel, in a way that’s making the muscles in your thighs scream, as Ghost pounds into you.

He’s fucking relentless, but also shockingly aware of you beneath him. He doesn’t put too much pressure on you when he holds you, he never goes hard enough to hurt, and he knows just the right amount of weight to pin you down without being too much.

Your pussy is sloppy around him, wet squishing noises getting louder and louder as he finds more rhythm against your tight walls. Your whole world of awareness has been narrowed down to Ghost and Ghost only; his fingers digging into your thighs, your name in his mouth, his sweltering body pressing against yours.

He’s holding back, you can tell by the way his voice is caught in his throat. He’s keeping all his dangerous muscles at bay as he pulls out and presses in again. Rough, fast, but not enough to break you, just enough to make you scream until you bury your face to the side and try to cover your mouth with your arm.

“Yeah, you needed this,” Ghost grunts, his uncovered mouth nipping at the hinge of your jaw. “This’s why you were so fuckin’ distracted earlier, hm? You thinkin’ about how much you needed to cream around a real cock?”

“Uh huh, yeah,” You slur out, not even sure what you’re agreeing with. Your tongue feels too big for your mouth, every nerve in your body raw and sparking. You must sound so pathetic, but Ghost seems to like it.

“Ain’t gonna be distracted anymore, are ya?” He rumbles, laving his tongue over your jaw in a way that feels filthy. “Just needed your little pussy filled, that’s all.”

You cry out for him because you can’t help it, delight bubbling in your throat every time he plunges into you. He keeps his pace for a bit, all rushed and blazing, transfixed on watching you suck him in, leaving slick trails along his shaft. But gradually he gets bolder, more desperate, big hands squeezing from your thighs to your hips.

You get lost in the feeling of him in your belly, searing and harsh, fat tip rolling against the spongy spot inside of you until you feel like you might snap. You feel him in your ears, your head pounding with every snap of his hips. You swear you even feel him in your toes, lightning zaps of pleasure down your nerves.

Then he leans back, lifting his weight off of you so you can breathe properly. He leaves his hand on your collarbones like a placeholder, his palm spread over the base of your throat like a reminder, a way to keep your attention on him.

“Fuck,” He grits out, “That’s it, doll.”

You’re vaguely aware of the fact that Ghost’s gaze has shifted, no longer focused on your face but now instead fixed firmly between your legs as he watches the thick shaft of his cock sink into you. He obviously likes how you feel inside; you can hear him cursing and grunting quietly as his free hand grips your hip for leverage.

With his mask rumpled up around his nose, you’re gifted with an incredible view of the way his teeth are sunk into his lower lip. Each time he sinks his cock into you again, he makes a raspy little groan, eyes fluttering briefly shut. It’s so painfully endearing that your heart quivers in your chest.

Your legs burn from being spread around his thick waist — any attempt for you to lock them around his back is useless, your legs slipping everytime his ass flexes with his thrusts. Every hasty drive of his hips has the ridge of his cock sliding against the spongy spread of your walls, making you feel more stuffed every time he ruts into you. With every sudden movement you feel the entirety of his fat cock; the veins are throbbing, skin heated and silken within you. Part of you marvels how you’re even able to fit him inside you.

“Never seen you look like this,” he grunts. “All fucked-out and perfect.”

Ghost leans in again, grips your legs so he can rearrange them over his shoulders, and you think you might die. The angle is different and somehow, impossibly, Ghost is fucking into you even deeper. You think you might actually be crying. There’s no question as to whether you’re drooling.

Your hands move to his arms, nails sinking into the hard muscles of his triceps as you cling on for dear life. He doesn’t even seem to notice the sting of your nails scratching him; or perhaps it only urges him on, because his movements take on an edge of desperation.

“Gorgeous girl,” He grits out, jaw clenched. “Squeezin’ so tight. Fuck. Gonna make you cream.”

You had forgotten about his promise to make you come, too lost in the hazy pleasure of his cock. But now it seems as though he’s been seized by the compulsion to fuck you to the edge; he reaches a hand down so that his thumb can join the fray, and it startles you into moaning breathlessly aloud.

His thumb is merciless against your clit. You’re vulnerable to his touch, clit spread and on display from the stretch of his thick cock inside of you, and he takes full advantage. His fingers are thick and blistering hot as he rubs at you, and you choke as your toes curl.

“Simon–” You manage to eke out before you lose the weak thread of your thoughts, scattering into nothing as he stimulates the stiff bead of your clit.

He grunts to show that he’s heard you, but he doesn’t seem any more capable of words than you are as he rocks into the cradle of your hips. You’re practically blinded by your wet eyes, blinking frantically to try and clear your vision as you reach out clumsily to throw your arms around Ghost’s blisteringly hot neck.

It feels as though your skin is stretched too tight over your body, hot and prickly and too much. You’re trembling, your breaths coming in shaky gasps as agonising pressure builds in your lower belly.

“Fuck, love.” Ghost says, his voice little more than a snarl. “You gonna come?”

No, You think hazily. No, you never come. But even as you think it, part of you recognises that it’s never felt like this before. Your stomach tightens, toes curling, your lungs burning, your eyes rolling. You hardly even know what’s happening.

You recognise that something is building, but it almost seems secondary to the way that Ghost is rutting into you like a man possessed, hitting that spongey spot in the back of your pussy that you’ve never managed to reach yourself and making your legs spasm every time even as his thick thumb rubs frantic circles around the bump of your clit.

“Fuck, fuck–” You wheeze, bucking your hips against him.

It doesn’t grow and dissipate in the way you’re used to. Rather, it creeps up on you almost without you noticing, until you’re whimpering and clinging to Ghost like he’s a lifeline. Your bottom lip trembles as you sob weakly, practically on the brink of diving into an oncoming tidal wave of desire. Then that coil in your stomach snaps like a rubber band, sudden and sharp as a slap to the face.

Your back arches, your vision whites out, and you cum so hard that the world stops, your ears ring, your body goes limp. Your cunts sucks tight around him, pulsing, feeling every inch of him. It feels so sweet, that white-hot buzzing pleasure rushing over you and wiping your brain completely clean.

You’re a little delirious from being stuffed with such a fat cock; every thrust just prolongs your pleasure, like his penetration keeps you from squeezing your very first orgasm out right away. It’s mindless ecstasy, your nails burrowing into the skin of his biceps as you desperately clutch at him for some kind of leverage. Ghost doesn’t falter, his hips continuing to work into you, wringing your orgasm out until you feel as though your brain is melting.

You sob – an actual, genuine, wet-sounding sob as your chest heaves for air and your eyes burn with overwhelmed, rapturous tears. Your head is spinning even as your climax subsides, leaving you limp-limbed and weak as Ghost continues rocking into you.

“Look so lovely when you come, sweetheart,” Ghost grunts into your ear, his bulky chest weighing you down as you clutch feebly at his shoulders. “God, that’s a sight. All for me, yeah?”

His praise only makes it worse, makes your eyes sting until there’s tears down your cheeks and stars behind your eyelids. He sounds so smug, but you can’t deny that he has reason to be. He’s the first man to ever touch you, first man to ever fuck you, the first person to ever tip you over the edge and wring an orgasm out of you. Fuck, you think your brain might have been reduced to mush permanently; you wonder wildly if you’ll ever be the same after this.

Despite the sting of Ghost’s punishing thrusts into your already oversensitive cunt, your body sings for him. The rhythm of his hips is getting gradually sloppier, as though he doesn’t care as much for precision now that he’s succeeded in making you come. Soft, guttural little grunts fall from his mouth, and his arms wrap around your waist to reposition you so that he can fuck quick and shallow. It’s almost tender, as though he’s aware of your growing sensitivity as you mewl under him.

There’s a profound, instinctual pleasure in seeing Ghost lose himself in your embrace. His dark eyes are heavy-lidded and his mask is still all rucked up, revealing the way his mouth is lolled softly open as he pants. You find yourself wishing feverishly that he had taken off his clothes too, because you think you would give anything to watch the roiling muscles of his chest and shoulders as he ruts into you.

Then just when you think you’re beginning to recover from the shattering, mind-numbing oversensitivity, Ghost comes inside of you.

He stops rutting to ride out his orgasm, his cock throbbing, pulsing, spurting inside you until you feel fuller than you’ve ever felt. And he comes a lot.

You’re stuffed so tightly with his cock that his cum has nowhere to go, and ends up leaking thickly from where your cunt grips around him, messy and hot and spilling over your thighs and his. The sound he makes is breathless, all open-mouth and head lolled back as he groans, blissed out as he finds release in your cunt.

The minutes afterwards are a blur.

You close your eyes for what feels like only a second, but the next time you blink your eyes open you find yourself feeling miserably, uncomfortably empty and sticky as all that oozy cum leaks out of you. You somehow missed Ghost pulling out of you, and your thoughts are muzzy and embarrassingly slow.

For a moment, you think you’re alone. You’re becoming more aware of yourself, and you realise that you’re shivering weakly alone in your sweat-damp sheets. Where did Ghost go? Part of you, still a little hazy, wonders if he had left you alone as soon as he had come, and you feel your lower lip tremble at the thought.

God, you feel pathetic. You shift feebly on the sheets, and suck in a sharp breath when you feel the ache inside you, proof that you’re going to feel the shadow of Ghost’s cock for days. You feel drunk off the afterglow, yet you’re swiftly becoming more and more aware of yourself and all the aches and pains that are coming to the fore now.

It feels like you’re too big for your body, and you’re clumsy when you try to sit up. Pushing yourself up makes a whole new set of aches light up, and you let out a quiet keening grumble.

You’re so caught up with trying to ground yourself that you jolt in surprise when big, paw-like hands land on you, pushing you back down onto the bed. “Shh, hey, lay down.” Ghost says, the rough edges of his accent softened. To your bewilderment, he has a damp cloth in his hand; he went to the bathroom, you realise hazily.

Maybe it’s just because you feel raw after your experience with him, pulsing like an open nerve, but you sniffle and blink and then suddenly there are tears dripping down your face.

“Thought you left.” You mumble, trying not to sound like a needy little idiot.

Ghost glances up at you, unblinkingly. His mask is fixed firmly back in place, and he looks annoyingly put-together; it’s an embarrassingly stark contrast to the way you’re still nude and shivery and teary-eyed.

“No.” He says simply.

The damp cloth is warm when it makes contact with your skin, and you relax as he drags it along your sweaty back and over your legs. He’s a little rough about it, but you don’t think it’s on purpose. Gentleness doesn’t come naturally to Simon Riley, and yet you can feel that he’s trying and that makes a warm glow settle in your stomach, replacing the cold anxiety that had settled in when you thought that he had left you alone.

When the cloth reaches the tender skin of your pussy, you hiss and try to pull away. It all feels too sensitive, and you feel your face crumple up as he wipes away the mess of slick and cum between your thighs. He gentles his touch as much as he can, but you still mewl at the electric zaps of oversensitivity that jolt up your spine.

When Ghost pauses and pulls the cloth away from you, you blink your eyes awake. Your vision is still all wet and blurry from tears, but you can still see the shape of Ghost as he stares down at you. You can imagine you look nothing short of ruined right now, even after having been cleaned up, and Ghost’s stare is burning.

You wonder if he’s about to leave now – you can recognise this whole thing had gotten out of hand, and you just about manage to stifle the panic at the creeping realisation that you’ve just fucked your superior officer. Ghost must have realised at this point that the two of you had just ripped through all those fraternisation rules, though it’s always been difficult to tell what he’s thinking. But you trust him – you have to, in your line of work. You have to trust that he’ll handle things.

Ghost tosses aside the cloth, and his big overbearing body climbs back into bed beside you. It’s a standard-issue bunk, and yet it feels comically tiny when Ghost has been added to the mix. He’s surprisingly agile, even despite his big size, and you barely have time to realise that he’s joining you in bed before he’s wrapped a thick arm around your middle, hauling you closer.

You’d love to act chill and cool about the fact that he’s now essentially cuddling you, but you miss the mark by a long mile. You take a breath, and allow yourself to relax into his big burly chest. He’s still fully clothed, and the rough texture of his jeans against your tender bare skin makes you shiver lightly from oversensitivity.

Your hips are sore from being stretched so wide, your joints weak and watery, and you’re perfectly content to close your eyes and forcibly ignore all your concerns about fraternisation or how you’re going to face Ghost in training. It’s a problem for another time.

“You still alive?” Ghost grunts, and his palm coasts down over your back to settle at your ass, his fingers squeezing absent-mindedly into the soft flesh there.

He sounds amused, which makes you grumble in irritation. He takes up so much space, his big body filling up all the free space on the bed and making you feel so fucking small as he holds you so that your back is pressed against his stomach.

“I dunno,” You mumble, words a little garbled. “Think… think you might have fucked me stupid, Lt.”

Lying like this, with his front pressed against your back, you can feel his laugh rumble into you. He’s touchy too in a way that surprises you; his hands are constantly moving, swiping over your sides and groping at any part of you that’s squishy-soft.

“Think I might have,” He agrees, and you can hear the smirk in his voice even if you can’t see it. “But I think you needed it, sweetheart. You were practically cryin’ out for it all day.”

You feel your face heat at the insinuation that he had noticed the arousal you thought you had hidden so well. But you still feel so fuzzy inside, and you can’t manage to drum up any genuine reaction.

Ghost’s roaming hand slips down between your legs, and you hold your breath as he reaches your swollen, tender pussy. His fingers are so big, but he’s aware of his strength and keeps his touch light, cupping rather than groping, his calloused palm catching on your puffy clit.

“Told you a real cock would be better,” He rumbles, and you feel the soft material of his mask rubbing against the back of your sweaty neck. “You’ve got a fussy little cunt – ‘s only gonna be satisfied by the real thing.”

You’d love to jab back at him, but the feeling of him rough palm against your oversensitive clit has your thoughts fizzing out into nothingness. All you can do is let out a quiet little whimper, and rock your hips into his touch. To your utter bewilderment, you feel your arousal, which you had previously considered entirely sated, pulse back to life.

As if Ghost can feel your cunt throb beneath his hand, he snickers. “Yeah. Fussy and greedy.”

He leans down, and you feel his lips brush against the back of your neck through the cotton of his balaclava. You quiver, and part your legs without conscious thought to give his thick fingers more room to work. Despite your exhaustion, and your soreness, and your sensitivity, you find yourself wanting. You wonder, with an edge of hysteria, if your body has somehow managed to rewire itself to only accept pleasure from your commanding officer’s hand.

“Ghost– Simon–” You breathe, your hips jumping as you grind into his palm.

“Yeah,” He says again, as though he knows exactly what you need and want. “One little orgasm wasn’t enough, was it?”

“No.” You choke out, throwing your head back so that it’s resting against Ghost’s broad chest. “No, ‘t wasn’t.”

You can hardly believe that your body is winding up for more, but Ghost’s touch is searing hot against your tender skin, and you can already taste the pleasure he’s going to bring you. This time, without the edge of urgency, you think you might even enjoy it more.

“Gimme five minutes,” He drawls, his voice low and muffled in your ear. “And I’ll give you your second.”

#ahem... hello 🥺👉👈#simon riley x reader #ghost x reader #cod smut #cod mw2 smut #simon ghost riley x reader #cod fic #simon riley smut

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esotericalchemist · 4 months ago

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Masterlist - YouTube (subliminals)

𝐋𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐡: 𝐔𝐧𝐯𝐞𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐇𝐢𝐝𝐝𝐞𝐧 𝐃𝐞𝐬𝐢𝐫𝐞𝐬 ⊹₊⟡⋆

Lilith in astrology represents the primal, instinctual side of our nature—the parts of ourselves that are often hidden, suppressed, or rejected. It embodies our deep-seated desires for freedom, power, and autonomy, pushing us to break free from societal expectations and limitations. While Lilith highlights where we can embrace our wildness and independence, it also reveals our struggles with control, rebellion, and vulnerability. Understanding Lilith's placement in your chart helps you confront these shadow aspects, offering the opportunity to reclaim your authentic self by transforming old patterns into sources of strength and empowerment.

𝐀𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐋𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐡

With Lilith in Aries, you’re fueled by a powerful drive for independence, self-empowerment, and assertiveness. Your energy is daring and fearless, pushing you to break through any barriers that limit you. The power of Lilith in Aries shows in your ability to confidently stand your ground and take decisive action, even in the face of resistance. You have a strong desire to be in control of your own path, making you fiercely protective of your autonomy. Whether in relationships or your career, freedom is essential, and you’ll fight against anything that threatens it.

The shadow side of Lilith in Aries involves confronting issues related to impulsivity, anger, or recklessness. You may wrestle with control and power dynamics, often feeling the need to dominate or rebel without fully considering the consequences. To truly harness Lilith’s potential, you must learn to direct your assertiveness in a productive way—leading and inspiring others without crossing boundaries. The challenge is finding a balance between asserting yourself and working with others, turning your raw energy into a source of leadership and courage. By embracing your inner strength while managing impulses, you unlock the true depth of your personal power.

Through the Houses:

1st House: Lilith in the 1st house makes you unapologetically assertive and focused on personal power. Others may find your boldness intimidating. Embrace your uniqueness and lead by example, but be mindful not to overpower those around you.

2nd House: Your connection to material possessions and self-worth can be unconventional. While you have the potential to create abundance independently, self-worth may become a struggle. Use Lilith’s energy to ground yourself in values beyond material success, standing firm in your sense of self.

3rd House: Your communication style is direct and bold, often challenging the status quo. Embrace your ability to speak your truth confidently, but be careful not to become too aggressive. Use your curiosity to empower others through your words.

4th House: A rebellious streak may show up in your home and family life, as you seek freedom from traditional roles. Lilith’s energy can help you break away from unhealthy family dynamics and create a home that truly reflects who you are.

5th House: Your creativity and love life are marked by independence. You may crave excitement and dominance in romantic relationships. Use your energy to express yourself authentically through creative outlets, while avoiding impulsive or destructive choices in love.

6th House: In your daily work and routines, you resist authority and value independence. To harness this energy, find work that allows you the freedom you seek, but avoid rebelling without purpose. Channel your desire for autonomy into serving others innovatively.

7th House: Relationships are where your Lilith energy is most intense. You may seek control or resist commitment. To reach your full potential, aim for balanced partnerships that allow both freedom and connection to coexist.

8th House: Lilith in the 8th house makes you fearless in confronting transformation and power struggles. You crave deep, transformative experiences. Use this energy to explore life’s mysteries and face your fears, but be mindful of avoiding manipulation.

9th House: Your need for freedom shows up in your pursuit of knowledge, travel, and spirituality. You resist traditional beliefs and are drawn to unconventional philosophies. Harness Lilith’s energy by embracing your truth while respecting others’ paths.

10th House: In your career, you may challenge authority and rebel against societal norms. Use Lilith’s energy to carve out a unique path to success, but be careful not to burn bridges along the way. Leadership roles can help you thrive.

11th House: You seek independence in group settings and social circles. Use Lilith’s energy to revolutionize your community, but be cautious of alienating yourself by being overly dominant. Find ways to contribute while still honoring your need for freedom.

12th House: Lilith in the 12th house brings hidden desires and power. You may be drawn to exploring the subconscious and spiritual realms. Use this energy to uncover your hidden strengths, but be wary of self-sabotage or withdrawing from reality.

𝐓𝐚𝐮𝐫𝐮𝐬 𝐋𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐡

With Lilith in Taurus, you possess a deep craving for stability, sensual pleasures, and material security. Your power is rooted in a profound connection to the physical world—whether through your body, nature, or the pursuit of comfort and luxury. You have a strong need to control your environment, ensuring that you feel safe and secure. While the desire for pleasure and indulgence is prominent, Lilith in Taurus also unlocks your path to self-sufficiency and inner strength. You thrive when you create beauty and abundance on your own terms, without becoming overly attached to material possessions or comfort.

Shadow work with Lilith in Taurus involves confronting attachments to material things, pleasure, or the fear of change. You may find yourself struggling with possessiveness or a resistance to letting go, holding on to what feels familiar even when it no longer serves you. To truly embrace Lilith’s potential, you must learn that real security comes from within, not from external sources. By letting go of the need to control everything around you, you can tap into your creative and sensual power, finding satisfaction in both material and spiritual wealth.

Through the Houses:

1st House: Your energy is grounded, sensual, and magnetic, giving you an unshakable presence. To harness this power, embrace your natural strength and confidence without relying too much on how others perceive you.

2nd House: You deeply desire financial security and material comfort but may struggle with possessiveness. Use Lilith’s energy to cultivate self-worth that isn’t solely tied to material wealth and build stability through creative and independent means.

3rd House: Your communication is practical and persuasive, often focused on concrete results. Embrace this by using your voice to create value in your community or work, but be open to new ideas and resist holding too tightly to your viewpoints.

4th House: You long for a stable, beautiful home environment, sometimes clinging to outdated family dynamics. To unlock Lilith’s potential, create a nurturing space that supports your well-being, and release rigid attachments to comfort and tradition.

5th House: You find pleasure in creativity, romance, and personal expression. Use this energy to fully engage in your passions and artistic pursuits, but be mindful of not controlling or overindulging in fleeting pleasures.

6th House: Your daily work and routines are motivated by a desire for stability and comfort. Lilith’s energy can help you create sustainable habits that promote well-being, but avoid becoming too rigid in your approach to work and health.

7th House: In relationships, you may seek security and control, which can sometimes lead to possessiveness. To fully harness this energy, build partnerships based on trust and mutual independence, allowing for both stability and personal freedom.

8th House: You are drawn to deep, transformative experiences, especially through shared resources or intimate relationships. Use Lilith’s power to confront fears around loss and control, embracing transformation and renewal with courage.

9th House: Your desire for security can extend to your beliefs, leading to resistance to new philosophies. Lilith’s energy encourages you to embrace diverse perspectives and experiences, allowing for personal growth and expansion.

10th House: You seek recognition and material success in your career. Use Lilith’s energy to build a professional life that aligns with your core values, while being open to change and not clinging to traditional definitions of success.

11th House: You desire stability in social circles and may resist change within your community. To unlock Lilith’s potential, embrace new ideas and collaborations, allowing your social networks to evolve while honoring your need for security.

12th House: Lilith in the 12th house brings hidden desires for control or security. Use this energy to explore spiritual practices that ground you in the present, releasing attachments based on fear and embracing inner peace and healing.

𝐆𝐞𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐢 𝐋𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐡

With Lilith in Gemini, your strength lies in your intellect, communication, and adaptability. You have an intense need for mental stimulation and freedom in both thought and expression. Curious and versatile, you’re naturally drawn to new ideas and often find yourself challenging conventional wisdom. Lilith’s energy in Gemini shows through your ability to speak your truth and question established norms. However, this can sometimes result in restlessness or scattered energy if not properly channeled. You thrive when exploring multiple perspectives and communicating freely, but you may struggle with superficiality or the temptation to manipulate others through words.

Shadow work for Lilith in Gemini involves addressing tendencies like inconsistency, gossip, or using your intellect to manipulate or avoid deeper emotional truths. You may also need to confront a fear of commitment, whether in ideas, relationships, or projects, as you seek constant mental stimulation. To harness Lilith’s full potential, you must find a balance between your desire for freedom and the need for depth and focus. When you use your sharp mind and communication skills wisely, you can inspire and enlighten others while staying true to your core values.

Through the Houses:

1st House: You project a sharp, witty, and dynamic presence, often keeping others on their toes. Use your bold self-expression to stand out, but avoid being overly restless or changeable in how you present yourself to the world.

2nd House: Your approach to material wealth may involve unconventional or mentally stimulating ways of achieving financial security. Use Lilith’s energy to build value through intellectual pursuits while avoiding superficial or quick financial gains.

3rd House: Your communication style is bold and direct, with a thirst for knowledge and variety. Channel this energy into exploring diverse topics and engaging in thought-provoking discussions, but be careful not to dominate conversations or use your words manipulatively.

4th House: You may crave intellectual freedom in your home environment, sometimes emotionally distancing yourself from family. Use Lilith’s energy to cultivate open communication within your family while fostering deeper emotional connections.

5th House: You seek excitement and intellectual stimulation in romance and creative pursuits. To unlock Lilith’s power, embrace your playful, expressive side in love and art, but be wary of chasing fleeting pleasures or forming superficial connections.

6th House: Your work thrives on mental stimulation and variety, but you may resist routines. Use Lilith’s energy to seek engaging, mentally challenging tasks, while learning to stay focused on practical matters without losing interest.

7th House: In relationships, you crave mental connection and freedom of expression. Use Lilith’s energy to create stimulating partnerships, but be mindful not to avoid emotional intimacy by relying solely on intellectual connections.

8th House: You’re drawn to exploring hidden truths and taboo topics, often using your intellect to delve into life’s mysteries. To fully embrace this power, balance your curiosity about the unknown while avoiding manipulation in intimate relationships.

9th House: Your thirst for intellectual freedom leads you to explore diverse philosophies and cultures. Use Lilith’s energy to challenge traditional beliefs and embrace new ideas, but avoid spreading yourself too thin in your search for knowledge.

10th House: You may challenge authority figures or traditional career paths, seeking intellectual freedom in your professional life. Use Lilith’s power to build a career that honors your independence, but be careful not to burn bridges along the way.

11th House: Your social life is fueled by mental stimulation, and you’re often drawn to groups that challenge conventional ideas. Harness Lilith’s energy by contributing your insights to social causes or collective goals, while avoiding detachment from those with different perspectives.

12th House: Lilith in the 12th house brings a hidden need for intellectual exploration and mental freedom. Use this energy to dive into the unconscious mind through writing, spirituality, or research, but be cautious of isolating yourself from meaningful relationships.

𝐂𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫 𝐋𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐡

With Lilith in Cancer, your strength comes from your emotional depth, intuition, and desire for emotional security. You have a strong need to nurture and protect, but there is also a fierce sense of independence regarding your emotional life. You may resist vulnerability, fearing abandonment or rejection, which can lead to self-protective tendencies or attempts to control relationships. Lilith in Cancer challenges you to explore emotional autonomy, establish healthy boundaries, and balance your nurturing instincts with personal independence. Your sensitivity and empathy are immense, but you may struggle with holding onto past emotional wounds or becoming overly protective of your inner world.

Shadow work with Lilith in Cancer involves facing emotional wounds, fears of abandonment, and tendencies to control relationships for emotional security. It’s important to explore how past emotional traumas shape your current behavior and learn to embrace vulnerability without fear. To fully tap into Lilith’s potential, you must balance caring for others with self-care and emotional independence. When you embrace your intuitive power without letting fear dictate your actions, you can form deep, meaningful connections while staying true to yourself.

Through the Houses:

1st House: You project a nurturing and intuitive energy but may shield yourself from emotional vulnerability. Use Lilith’s power by embracing emotional authenticity while avoiding defensiveness or becoming overly protective of your personal space.

2nd House: Your sense of security, both emotional and material, is closely tied together. Use Lilith’s energy to develop emotional and financial independence, but avoid clinging to material possessions as a source of comfort.

3rd House: Your communication style is deeply emotional, often connecting with others through shared feelings and memories. Use this power to foster meaningful conversations, but be mindful of not using emotions to control or manipulate in relationships.

4th House: You have a strong connection to home and family, possibly seeking control over your emotional space. To harness Lilith’s power, create a nurturing home environment while learning to release past family wounds and emotional baggage.

5th House: Your creative and romantic life is intertwined with your emotions, and you seek deep connections in love. Use Lilith’s energy to fully express your creativity and passion, but resist becoming overly dependent on others for emotional validation.

6th House: Your daily routines and work are emotionally driven, and you may resist authority at work. Use Lilith’s power to create a balanced work-life routine that nurtures your emotional well-being, while avoiding burnout or emotional exhaustion.

7th House: In relationships, you crave emotional closeness but may fear vulnerability or rejection. To unleash Lilith’s energy, pursue partnerships where emotional security and independence coexist, and learn to trust without the fear of abandonment.

8th House: You are drawn to deep, transformative emotional experiences, particularly in intimate relationships or shared resources. Use Lilith’s power for emotional healing and growth, but avoid using emotional intensity to control others.

9th House: Your emotional security may be closely tied to your belief system, and you may resist new ideas that challenge your emotional comfort. Use Lilith’s energy to explore new philosophies and spiritual practices that expand your emotional understanding.

10th House: Your career may be deeply connected to your emotional needs, and you might seek recognition for your nurturing qualities. Use Lilith’s energy to build a career that reflects your emotional values, but avoid using your role to emotionally control others.

11th House: You seek emotional connection in social groups or causes, but may feel vulnerable in group settings. To unlock Lilith’s power, contribute emotionally to your community while maintaining strong personal boundaries and emotional security.

12th House: Lilith in the 12th house suggests hidden emotional needs and desires. Use this energy to explore your subconscious emotions through spiritual practices or creative outlets, but be cautious of emotionally isolating yourself from the world.

𝐋𝐞𝐨 𝐋𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐡

With Lilith in Leo, your power stems from creativity, self-expression, and a strong desire for recognition. You are driven by the need to be seen, admired, and appreciated for your unique qualities. However, Lilith in Leo can create a tension between craving approval and staying true to authentic self-expression. You naturally gravitate toward the spotlight, seeking to shine both personally and professionally. At times, though, you may wrestle with issues of pride, fear of rejection, or placing too much emphasis on validation from others, which can limit your creative potential. When you tap into your true inner power, you radiate confidence, and your bold, charismatic energy has the ability to inspire others.

Shadow work for Lilith in Leo involves confronting the need for constant admiration and the fear of going unseen or unappreciated. You may need to explore issues around pride or tendencies to dominate the spotlight as a way of compensating for deeper insecurities. To unlock Lilith’s potential fully, you must cultivate confidence from within, focusing on authentic self-expression rather than external approval. When you embrace your inner brilliance and share your gifts freely, you uplift others while maintaining a strong, secure sense of self.

Through the Houses:

1st House: You project a magnetic, confident, and bold persona, often seeking recognition. To unleash Lilith’s power, embrace your natural charisma and leadership abilities, but avoid relying solely on external validation for your self-worth.

2nd House: You may seek recognition through material possessions and self-worth. Use Lilith’s energy to find value in your unique talents and abilities rather than relying solely on material wealth or external achievements for your sense of worth.

3rd House: Your communication style is expressive and dramatic, often commanding attention through your words. To use Lilith’s energy, speak with authenticity and creativity, but be cautious of overshadowing others or dominating conversations.

4th House: You may crave attention or recognition in your family or home life, sometimes adopting a dominant role. Use Lilith’s power to create a nurturing home environment where your emotional needs for recognition are met, while allowing space for others to shine too.

5th House: Lilith’s energy thrives in creativity, romance, and self-expression. To fully harness this power, express yourself boldly in both love and creative pursuits, but avoid becoming overly dependent on romantic validation or the need to impress others.

6th House: In your work environment, you may seek recognition for your efforts, sometimes leading to pride in your daily routines. Use Lilith’s energy to create a work life that reflects your individuality, while avoiding ego-driven competition with colleagues.

7th House: Relationships are intense with Lilith in the 7th house, as you crave admiration from your partners. To balance this energy, seek partnerships where both individuals can shine equally, ensuring your need for attention doesn't overshadow your partner's needs.

8th House: You are drawn to intense and transformative experiences in relationships, where you can fully express your power. Use Lilith’s energy to explore deep emotional connections and uncover hidden aspects of yourself, but avoid using intimacy as a means of control or dominance.

9th House: Your desire for recognition extends to your beliefs and philosophies, seeking to stand out in intellectual or spiritual circles. To unleash Lilith’s power, share your insights with passion, but remain mindful not to overshadow others’ beliefs.

10th House: You crave recognition and success in your career, often aiming for leadership roles or positions of authority. Use Lilith’s energy to build a career where your creativity and confidence can flourish, but be cautious of letting pride or the need for validation harm your professional relationships.

11th House: In group settings, you may seek to be the center of attention, craving recognition from peers. To use Lilith’s power, contribute your unique ideas and creativity to collective efforts, but ensure you're not dominating the spotlight at the expense of the group’s goals.

12th House: Lilith in the 12th house suggests hidden desires for recognition and self-expression. Use this energy to explore creative or spiritual outlets that allow you to shine behind the scenes, but be mindful of not suppressing your need for attention, as it could lead to feelings of isolation.

𝐕𝐢𝐫𝐠𝐨 𝐋𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐡

With Lilith in Virgo, your power lies in your sharp intellect, meticulous attention to detail, and drive for perfection. You have a deep desire to improve both yourself and your surroundings, often seeking control through order and structure. There is a strong need for independence in managing tasks and responsibilities, but Lilith in Virgo can also lead to tendencies like self-criticism and overworking. You may feel pressured to meet impossibly high standards, which can cause internal tension. While you desire to be of service and make meaningful contributions, the challenge is learning to balance control with surrender and knowing when to let go.

Shadow work for Lilith in Virgo involves facing perfectionism, self-doubt, and the fear of judgment or not measuring up. You might feel compelled to control your environment or be overly critical of yourself and others as a way to protect yourself from vulnerability. To fully harness Lilith’s energy, you must embrace your imperfections and understand that true strength comes from adaptability and acceptance. When you channel your precise nature into constructive service without being ruled by the fear of failure, you can become a powerful agent of healing and improvement in your own life and in the lives of others.

Through the Houses:

1st House: You project an aura of perfectionism and efficiency, often driven by the need to control how others perceive you. To unleash Lilith’s power, embrace your analytical nature while avoiding excessive self-criticism, focusing on authentic growth rather than seeking external approval.

2nd House: Your sense of material security may be closely tied to control over your resources. Use Lilith’s energy to build financial stability through discipline and service, but be careful not to equate your self-worth solely with material success or productivity.

3rd House: Your communication style is precise and detail-oriented, often focused on practical concerns. Use Lilith’s energy to express your thoughts clearly and analytically, but resist the urge to overanalyze or be too critical in your conversations.

4th House: You may seek control and perfection within your home and family life, aiming to maintain order. Use Lilith’s power to create a nurturing environment through organization, while allowing space for emotional spontaneity and embracing imperfection.

5th House: Creativity and romance may feel like areas where you need to perform flawlessly or take on too much responsibility. To tap into Lilith’s energy, let yourself enjoy creative expression and love without worrying about perfection or controlling the outcome.

6th House: You are driven by the need to serve and improve, often feeling a strong sense of responsibility regarding work and health. Use Lilith’s power to create efficient routines that support your well-being, but be mindful not to overburden yourself with perfectionist tendencies.

7th House: In relationships, you may seek perfection or feel the need to "fix" your partner. Use Lilith’s energy to cultivate partnerships where growth and service are mutual, avoiding the trap of being overly critical or trying to control your partner’s flaws.

8th House: You are drawn to transformative experiences that involve analyzing hidden or complex aspects of life. Use Lilith’s energy to explore deep emotional healing and psychological insight, but avoid obsessing over control in intimate relationships or shared resources.

9th House: Your search for knowledge and truth may be driven by a need to understand everything perfectly, which can limit your openness to new ideas. To unleash Lilith’s power, embrace learning and exploration without needing to have all the answers right away.

10th House: Your career is marked by a drive for perfection and success, and you may be highly critical of your achievements. Use Lilith’s energy to create a fulfilling professional life, recognizing your skills while allowing yourself to make mistakes and grow from them without fear of failure.

11th House: In social groups, you may feel compelled to organize or improve collective efforts. To use Lilith’s power, contribute your talents to group goals while releasing the need to control how others participate or how the group is perceived.

12th House: Lilith in the 12th house indicates hidden desires for control over your spiritual or subconscious life. Use this energy to explore self-healing and spiritual practices that help you release perfectionism, embracing inner peace and balance.

𝐋𝐢𝐛𝐫𝐚 𝐋𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐡

With Lilith in Libra, your strength lies in your ability to navigate relationships, social dynamics, and the pursuit of harmony. You have a strong desire for balance, fairness, and beauty in all aspects of life, but Lilith here pushes you to confront the shadow side of your need for approval and peace. There is a powerful drive for independence in your interactions with others, which can make you resist relying too heavily on partnerships. You may struggle with the tendency to please others at the expense of your own needs or to subtly manipulate situations to maintain harmony. However, your true power emerges when you embrace authenticity and strike a balance between self-assertion and compromise.

Shadow work for Lilith in Libra involves confronting your fear of conflict and the need to be liked. You may need to face tendencies to sacrifice your own desires for the sake of peace or to manipulate relationships to avoid discomfort. To fully unlock Lilith’s potential, you must learn to assert yourself without fear of rejection and allow relationships to evolve naturally, even if it temporarily disrupts harmony. When you embrace your inner strength and combine it with your natural diplomacy, you become a force for authentic connection and fairness.

Through the Houses:

1st House: You project charm, grace, and a desire for harmony, but may hide your true desires to avoid conflict. To unleash Lilith’s power, embrace your authenticity and express yourself confidently without fear of others' reactions.

2nd House: You seek material security and self-worth through relationships, but may depend too much on others for validation. Use Lilith’s energy to build your own values and sense of self-worth without relying on external approval or material success.

3rd House: Your communication style focuses on maintaining balance, but you may avoid difficult conversations. Use Lilith’s energy to speak your truth, even if it challenges others, and embrace the power of honest, direct communication.

4th House: You may seek peace and balance at home, often sacrificing your emotional needs for family harmony. Use Lilith’s power to create a home environment where your emotional truth is honored, even if it disrupts the status quo.

5th House: Creativity and romance may be areas where you seek validation from others. To tap into Lilith’s energy, express yourself authentically in love and creative pursuits, without relying on external praise for your sense of self-worth.

6th House: You may strive for harmony and perfection in your work life, sometimes focusing too much on others’ needs. Use Lilith’s power to find balance, ensuring that both your needs and those of others are respected in your daily routines.

7th House: Relationships are central to your life, but you may lose yourself in partnerships or prioritize harmony over authenticity. To unleash Lilith’s power, create balanced relationships where your needs are asserted, while also valuing compromise.

8th House: You are drawn to deep, intense relationships that challenge your need for control and balance. Use Lilith’s energy to explore emotional depth and transformation in partnerships, but avoid using intimacy to manipulate or maintain harmony.

9th House: You may seek intellectual or spiritual harmony, avoiding beliefs that disrupt your balance. To unlock Lilith’s potential, explore new philosophies and ideas that challenge your worldview, embracing discomfort as a catalyst for growth.

10th House: You seek success in your career through diplomacy and charm, but may struggle with asserting your individuality. Use Lilith’s energy to build a career that reflects your true values, without fearing conflict or others' disapproval.

11th House: In social groups, you desire harmony and fairness, often acting as the mediator. To use Lilith’s power, contribute your diplomatic skills while also asserting your unique ideas, even if they go against the group’s expectations.

12th House: Lilith in the 12th house suggests hidden desires for harmony and balance that may conflict with deeper emotional or spiritual needs. Use this energy to explore unconscious fears that prevent you from expressing your true self in relationships, and embrace emotional freedom.

𝐒𝐜𝐨𝐫𝐩𝐢𝐨 𝐋𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐡

With Lilith in Scorpio, your power is rooted in emotional intensity, depth, and a natural ability to embrace transformation. You have a strong desire for control, particularly in emotional and intimate relationships, and are drawn to uncover the deeper, hidden aspects of life. This placement gives you a magnetic and mysterious energy, but it also pushes you to confront issues surrounding power, secrecy, and vulnerability. Your desire for independence and mastery over your emotions may cause you to resist trust and intimacy, even though these are key to unlocking your true potential. Lilith in Scorpio challenges you to dive into the depths of your psyche, confront your fears, and emerge stronger and transformed.

Shadow work with Lilith in Scorpio involves facing issues of control, fear of betrayal, and the instinct to manipulate situations to avoid vulnerability. You may need to confront your fear of emotional exposure or your tendency to hold onto secrets and hidden agendas. To fully unlock Lilith’s potential, you must embrace emotional honesty and the strength that comes from vulnerability. When you stop resisting change and transformation, you access a profound potential for regeneration and healing—not only for yourself but for others as well.

Through the Houses:

1st House: You project an intense, magnetic presence that can both attract and intimidate others. To unleash Lilith’s power, embrace your emotional depth and authenticity, allowing others to see the real you instead of hiding behind a protective facade.

2nd House: Your relationship with material security and self-worth may be tied to control and the need for security. Use Lilith’s energy to develop financial independence and confidence, but be wary of becoming overly possessive or attached to material success.

3rd House: Your communication style is probing and intense, often seeking to uncover hidden truths. Use Lilith’s power to engage in deep, meaningful conversations, but avoid manipulating or controlling others with your words.

4th House: You may experience intense emotions related to family and home life, feeling a need to control your domestic environment. Use Lilith’s energy to confront emotional wounds from the past and create a home space that fosters transformation and healing.

5th House: You seek intensity and depth in your creative and romantic pursuits, craving passionate connections. To express Lilith’s energy, embrace your creative and romantic desires without fear of rejection or betrayal, but avoid using love as a form of control.

6th House: In work and daily routines, you may become focused on control and perfectionism. Use Lilith’s energy to transform your work life by embracing change and adaptability, rather than clinging to rigid systems and habits.

7th House: Relationships may bring up power struggles, with intense emotions surfacing in partnerships. To harness Lilith’s power, cultivate trust and emotional honesty, letting go of the need to control the outcome of your relationships.

8th House: Lilith thrives in the 8th house, amplifying your interest in transformation, shared resources, and the mysteries of life. Use this energy for deep emotional healing and growth, but be mindful of avoiding power struggles or fear of loss.

9th House: You may seek intensity and depth in intellectual or spiritual pursuits, craving transformative experiences. To fully embrace Lilith’s power, explore philosophies or spiritual practices that challenge your current beliefs, allowing yourself to evolve through them.

10th House: Your career may be marked by intense ambition and a desire for control and recognition. Use Lilith’s energy to achieve success on your own terms, but be cautious of becoming overly manipulative or secretive in your professional relationships.

11th House: You seek deep, meaningful connections in social circles and may challenge group dynamics. To use Lilith’s power, engage in social causes that allow for transformation and empowerment, but be careful to avoid power struggles within your community.

12th House: Lilith in the 12th house brings hidden fears and desires for control to the surface. Use this energy to explore your subconscious through spiritual or psychological practices, but avoid isolating yourself emotionally. Embrace your inner power without fear of the unknown.

𝐒𝐚𝐠𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐮𝐬 𝐋𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐡

With Lilith in Sagittarius, your power comes from your relentless quest for truth, freedom, and wisdom. You have a strong desire to explore, both intellectually and physically, often seeking to break free from societal norms and conventional thinking. Independence is key for you, and you may resist any attempts to confine your beliefs or restrict your freedom. Lilith in Sagittarius can create tension between your desire for freedom and your tendency to rebel against authority or tradition. You’re driven to explore new philosophies, cultures, and ideas, but may also struggle with restlessness or a fear of commitment. When you embrace this energy, you can inspire others with your boldness and your adventurous spirit in the search for meaning.

Shadow work for Lilith in Sagittarius involves confronting issues of overconfidence, dogmatism, or the fear of being trapped. You may need to examine any tendencies to rebel simply for the sake of rebellion or to impose your beliefs on others. To unlock Lilith’s full potential, you must balance your desire for freedom with a deeper understanding and connection. When you channel your passion for truth into positive exploration, you can become a visionary leader, helping others break free from limiting beliefs while expanding your own horizons.

Through the Houses:

1st House: You project an adventurous and free-spirited persona, often challenging norms and pushing boundaries. Use Lilith’s energy to inspire others with your independence, but be mindful not to come across as overly arrogant or dismissive of other perspectives.

2nd House: Your relationship with material security and values may be tied to your need for freedom. Use Lilith’s power to achieve financial independence in unconventional ways, but be cautious not to sacrifice stability just for the sake of excitement.

3rd House: You communicate boldly, always seeking intellectual freedom, often challenging conventional wisdom. Embrace Lilith’s energy by exploring new ideas, but be careful not to alienate others by being too forceful with your opinions.

4th House: You may resist traditional family roles or feel the need for freedom from your home environment. Use Lilith’s energy to create a home that reflects your adventurous values, while addressing any restlessness or avoidance of commitment.

5th House: You seek excitement and adventure in both creativity and romance, often rebelling against conventional expectations. To fully express Lilith’s power, embrace your playful, passionate side, but avoid being overly impulsive or reckless in love.

6th House: You desire freedom in your work and daily routines, often resisting rigid schedules or authority. Use Lilith’s energy to create a flexible routine that allows for personal growth, while being careful not to neglect responsibilities.

7th House: In relationships, you seek intellectual and spiritual freedom, often avoiding traditional commitments. To unleash Lilith’s power, cultivate partnerships that prioritize mutual growth and exploration, while ensuring that you don’t shy away from emotional intimacy.

8th House: You are drawn to transformative experiences, often exploring taboo subjects or intense emotional connections. Use Lilith’s energy to seek wisdom through transformation, but avoid using power or control as a way to feel free.

9th House: This placement amplifies your desire for philosophical, spiritual, or cultural exploration. To unlock Lilith’s potential, fully embrace your quest for truth, but remain open to learning from others without becoming dogmatic.

10th House: You may challenge traditional career paths, seeking a profession that aligns with your need for freedom. Use Lilith’s energy to create a career that allows you to inspire others, but be cautious not to rebel against authority without cause.

11th House: You’re drawn to social causes that align with your ideals of freedom and progress. Harness Lilith’s energy by contributing to collective goals that push boundaries, but be mindful of not becoming overly radical or dismissive of opposing viewpoints.

12th House: Lilith in the 12th house brings hidden desires for intellectual and spiritual freedom. Use this energy to explore your subconscious through travel, study, or spiritual practices, but avoid using the pursuit of freedom as an escape from reality or commitments.

𝐂𝐚𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐜𝐨𝐫𝐧 𝐋𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐡

With Lilith in Capricorn, your strength lies in your drive for success, authority, and control over your life’s path. You have a strong desire for recognition and respect, and you're willing to work hard to achieve your ambitions. Lilith in Capricorn amplifies your determination, but it also brings challenges related to control, fear of failure, and feelings of inadequacy. You may suppress your emotions to maintain a façade of strength, or you might fear vulnerability, which can create distance between you and others. Your need for independence and self-mastery is powerful, often leading you to prioritize long-term security and stability, but sometimes at the cost of your emotional needs.

Shadow work with Lilith in Capricorn involves addressing fears of failure, rejection, or the belief that you must constantly prove your worth through achievements. You may need to confront tendencies to prioritize work and success over personal relationships or to be overly controlling in your pursuit of stability. To fully unlock Lilith’s potential, you must embrace vulnerability and recognize that true power comes from balancing ambition with emotional authenticity. When you align your goals with your inner values and allow yourself to open up emotionally, you can achieve great success without sacrificing personal fulfillment.

Through the Houses:

1st House: You project a strong, ambitious presence, often feeling the need to control how others see you. To unleash Lilith’s power, embrace your leadership abilities while allowing yourself to be vulnerable and authentic without fearing judgment.

2nd House: You may seek material security and financial success as a way to feel in control. Use Lilith’s energy to build wealth through disciplined effort, but avoid tying your self-worth solely to material achievements.

3rd House: Your communication is authoritative and structured, focused on practical matters. Use Lilith’s power to share your insights and ideas, but be careful not to become rigid or dismissive of other perspectives.

4th House: You may feel the need to control or structure your home and family life, sometimes suppressing emotional needs. Use Lilith’s energy to create a stable home environment while allowing space for emotional vulnerability and connection.

5th House: You may feel pressure to perform perfectly in creativity or romance, seeking recognition in these areas. To express Lilith’s power, embrace your creative passions and romantic desires without fear of failure or the need for perfection.

6th House: In your work and routines, you may be driven by a need for control and efficiency, sometimes becoming overly focused on productivity. Use Lilith’s energy to balance your work ethic with self-care, avoiding burnout from overworking.

7th House: In relationships, you may seek control or resist vulnerability. To harness Lilith’s power, pursue partnerships where both individuals share authority and emotional openness, allowing for true intimacy without power struggles.

8th House: You may be drawn to control and transformation in shared resources or deep emotional connections. Use Lilith’s energy to explore emotional intimacy and financial partnerships, but be mindful of not becoming overly controlling or fearful of loss.

9th House: You may seek authority in philosophical or educational areas, often pursuing recognition through intellectual or spiritual mastery. To unlock Lilith’s potential, embrace new ideas and philosophies without needing to dominate or control your beliefs.

10th House: Lilith in the 10th house amplifies your ambition and drive for success, pushing you toward recognition in your career. Use this energy to build a professional life aligned with your true values, while avoiding excessive focus on status or power.

11th House: You may seek control or authority in social circles or group dynamics, desiring recognition for your contributions. Use Lilith’s energy to contribute to collective goals with discipline and vision, while allowing for collaboration and flexibility within the group.

12th House: Lilith in the 12th house brings hidden desires for control and authority over your subconscious or spiritual life. Use this energy to explore inner transformation and healing, but be cautious of isolating yourself emotionally or suppressing your deeper needs.

𝐀𝐪𝐮𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐮𝐬 𝐋𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐡

With Lilith in Aquarius, your strength comes from your individuality, rebellious spirit, and desire to break free from societal norms. You have a strong need for independence and freedom, often challenging authority, traditions, or anything that feels restrictive. Lilith in Aquarius amplifies your visionary and innovative nature, urging you to express your uniqueness and contribute to society in unconventional ways. However, this placement can also bring challenges around emotional detachment, fear of intimacy, or a tendency to rebel for rebellion’s sake. You’re drawn to social causes and feel a deep responsibility to bring about change, but this may sometimes lead to emotional distancing or suppressing personal feelings to fit into collective ideals.

Shadow work with Lilith in Aquarius involves facing fears of losing individuality in relationships or groups. You may resist closeness, fearing it will compromise your freedom, which can result in emotional detachment. To fully unlock Lilith’s potential, you must embrace both your need for freedom and your capacity to form genuine connections. True power lies in balancing your individuality with meaningful relationships, using your innovative spirit to inspire collective progress. By integrating personal freedom and emotional openness, you can become a trailblazer for social change.

Through the Houses:

1st House: You project an eccentric, independent persona, often resisting conformity. To unleash Lilith’s power, embrace your unique identity while allowing yourself to connect with others without fearing a loss of individuality.

2nd House: You may have unconventional views on material security and self-worth, often prioritizing freedom over stability. Use Lilith’s energy to achieve financial independence through innovative methods, but avoid rejecting structure entirely for the sake of freedom.

3rd House: Your communication is unconventional and forward-thinking, often challenging traditional ideas. Use Lilith’s power to share your revolutionary ideas and insights, but be careful not to distance yourself from others by being too detached or impersonal.

4th House: You may crave emotional freedom in your home life, often resisting traditional family roles or structures. Use Lilith’s energy to create a home environment that celebrates individuality, while allowing space for deeper emotional connections.

5th House: You seek excitement and freedom in creative and romantic pursuits, often rebelling against conventional expectations. To express Lilith’s energy fully, engage in creativity and love with an open mind, but avoid detachment from deeper emotional bonds.

6th House: Your work and routines are driven by a desire for freedom and innovation, often resisting traditional structures in daily life. Use Lilith’s energy to create a flexible work environment that suits your need for independence, while avoiding inconsistency or chaos.

7th House: In relationships, you may resist traditional partnerships, craving independence and freedom. To harness Lilith’s power, seek relationships where both individuals can express their uniqueness while maintaining emotional connection and balance.

8th House: You are drawn to exploring unconventional or taboo subjects related to intimacy, transformation, or shared resources. Use Lilith’s energy to delve into deeper emotional or psychological realms, but avoid detachment as a defense mechanism in intimate relationships.

9th House: Your quest for truth and meaning is unconventional, and you may challenge traditional beliefs or philosophies. To unlock Lilith’s potential, embrace your unique worldview while staying open to other perspectives, avoiding dogmatism in your rebellion.

10th House: Lilith in the 10th house pushes you to challenge authority or traditional career paths, seeking freedom in your professional life. Use this energy to carve out a career that allows your individuality to shine, but be mindful of rebelling against authority without cause.

11th House: You are deeply focused on social causes and collective progress, often acting as a visionary or rebel in group settings. To use Lilith’s energy, contribute your innovative ideas to collective goals, but avoid distancing yourself from personal relationships within the group.

12th House: Lilith in the 12th house brings hidden desires for freedom and independence, often leading you to explore spiritual or psychological realms in unconventional ways. Use this energy to explore your inner world, but be mindful not to isolate yourself emotionally or reject vulnerability in the process.

𝐏𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐞𝐬 𝐋𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐡

With Lilith in Pisces, your power lies in your profound intuition, imagination, and connection to the mystical or spiritual realms. You have a natural ability to tap into the unseen, often feeling drawn to creative, spiritual, or healing pursuits. Lilith in Pisces amplifies your sensitivity and desire for transcendence, but it also brings challenges related to boundaries, escapism, and the fear of losing yourself in others or in fantasy. You may find yourself in situations where you sacrifice too much of yourself or become overly idealistic, blurring the line between reality and illusion. Your true power comes from embracing your intuition while establishing healthy boundaries to protect your energy.

Shadow work with Lilith in Pisces involves confronting tendencies to avoid reality, whether through fantasy, substances, or emotional withdrawal. You may need to address your fear of confrontation or a tendency to play the victim or martyr in relationships. To unlock Lilith’s potential, balance your spiritual and emotional sensitivity with practical, grounded action. When you integrate your intuitive gifts with a strong sense of self, you become a powerful healer, artist, or guide, helping others navigate the deeper currents of life.

Through the Houses:

1st House: You project an ethereal, sensitive, and compassionate presence, often blurring the lines between yourself and others. To unleash Lilith’s power, embrace your intuitive nature while establishing boundaries that protect your individuality.

2nd House: Your approach to material security may be marked by idealism or spirituality. Use Lilith’s energy to create financial stability through creative or healing work, but avoid escaping into fantasy when faced with practical challenges.

3rd House: You communicate with empathy and sensitivity, often intuitively understanding others’ thoughts and feelings. Use Lilith’s power to express your creative and spiritual insights, but avoid losing clarity or becoming vague in communication.

4th House: You may feel emotionally connected to your home and family, sometimes sacrificing your needs for the sake of others. Use Lilith’s energy to create a nurturing home while setting boundaries to protect your emotional well-being.

5th House: Creativity and romance are where you seek emotional connection and transcendence, often idealizing love or artistic pursuits. To fully express Lilith’s power, embrace your artistic or romantic visions while staying grounded to avoid disillusionment.

6th House: In work and daily routines, you are drawn to healing or spiritual practices but may struggle with boundaries. Use Lilith’s energy to serve others meaningfully, while ensuring you don’t neglect your needs or avoid responsibilities.

7th House: Relationships may feel deeply spiritual or idealistic, but you might struggle with boundaries or losing yourself in partnerships. To harness Lilith’s energy, seek emotional connection balanced with individual autonomy, avoiding the role of martyr.

8th House: You are drawn to the mystical and transformative aspects of life, seeking emotional or spiritual depth in intimate relationships. Use Lilith’s power to navigate intense emotional experiences, but avoid escaping into fantasy or obsession.

9th House: Your spiritual and philosophical beliefs may be highly idealistic, and you may seek higher truths or mystical experiences. To unlock Lilith’s potential, pursue your spiritual quest while staying grounded, avoiding dogmatic or escapist tendencies.

10th House: Lilith in the 10th house may lead you to seek recognition for your creative or spiritual talents, possibly pursuing a career in healing, art, or spirituality. Use this energy to build a career aligned with your values, but avoid disillusionment from unrealistic expectations.

11th House: You are drawn to idealistic social causes or communities, seeking connection with like-minded individuals in spiritual or creative groups. Use Lilith’s energy to contribute compassionately to collective goals, but be careful not to lose yourself in the group.

12th House: Lilith in the 12th house amplifies your connection to the unconscious and spiritual realms, often drawing you to deep mystical experiences. Use this energy for self-reflection and spiritual practices, but be cautious of retreating into isolation or escaping from reality.

Masterlist - YouTube (subliminals)

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pastryfication · 6 months ago

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Can you please do one with shy!reader x Oscar? Reader has chronic pain, but hates asking for help with things, especially simple things (showering, eating, changing, etc)

Ignore if you're not comfortable with this request ❤️

hi thank you so much for the request! i hope it reaches your expectations 🫶🫶

chronic pain | oscar piastri

pairing: oscar piastri x shy!reader

warnings: mentions of chronic pain.

the bathroom was warm and misty, the scent of your favourite body wash mingling with the steam rising from the hot shower. you had managed to get undressed and into the shower on your own, a small triumph on a day where the pain was especially relentless.

as you stood under the shower head, the water cascaded over your shoulders, providing a fleeting sense of relief. you leaned against the wall, trying to muster the strength to continue. the stabbing pain in your back wasn’t about to ruin your day once again, you were adamant about that, but your legs felt like jelly, and your hands started to tremble with fatigue.

you closed your eyes, trying to steady your breathing, but a wave of dizziness washed over you. in an attempt to reach for the soap, your grip faltered, and it slipped from your fingers, hitting the tiled floor with a loud clatter. panic surged through you as you realized you couldn't bend down to retrieve it. no matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t make yourself bend down to pick it up.

the sound of the soap hitting the floor must have echoed through the apartment, because moments later, you heard the soft knock on the bathroom door.

"baby? are you okay in there?" oscar’s voice was gentle, but concern laced his words. you hated that he had to worry about you, hated that you had to rely on him for help with the simplest things. but today, the pain was unbearable.

"i’m fine," you called back, trying to keep your voice steady, but it came out weak and unconvincing. you hoped he wouldn't press further, but you knew oscar better than that.

the door creaked open, and through the steam, you saw his silhouette. he hesitated at the threshold, respecting your privacy but unwilling to leave you struggling. "are you sure? i think i heard something fall."

you sighed inaudible, feeling the weight of your pride and embarrassment. "i just . . . i dropped the soap. i can get it. just give me a minute."

oscar stepped closer, slowly moving aside the shower curtain to get a full view of you, and his gaze softened when he saw your strained expression. "love, it's okay to need help. let me."

his voice was soothing, filled with unwavering support, but you shook your head, stubbornness mingling with your discomfort. "oscar, i don't want to be a burden. i can do it."

he knelt beside the tub, his presence reassuring and calm as he gave you a gentle smile. "you could never be a burden to me, love. i'm happy to help, however you need."

tears pricked at the corners of your eyes, a mixture of frustration and gratitude. "i just feel so . . . useless sometimes."

oscar frowned at your words, his hand reaching out and gently taking your hand, his thumb brushing over your knuckles. "you're not useless. you're strong, and dealing with this pain every day takes so much courage. but even the strongest people need help sometimes. let me be here for you."

you hesitated, the vulnerability of accepting his help weighing heavily on you, but the sincerity in his eyes broke through your defences. slowly, you nodded, allowing him to assist you.

oscar carefully guided you to sit on the edge of the tub, then picked up the soap and lathered it between his hands. with tender care, he began washing your back, his touch light and comforting. you closed your eyes, letting yourself relax for the first time that day.

as he helped you rinse off, his gentle words filled the space. "i'm always here for you. no matter what. so please, ask me for help next time?"

you hesitated for a moment before nodding, agreeing to his words. maybe asking him for help wasn’t the worst idea when the feeling of his tender touch against your skin was so comforting. maybe you could allow him to help a bit more if it meant sharing intimate moments like these.

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sturnioz · 23 days ago

Text

꒰ STURNIOZ KINKMAS '24 ꒱ !

fratboy!chris has another surprise for shy!reader. tw. butt plugs, double penetration (for those who are not comfortable)

꒰ PART ONE ꒱ but this can be read as a standalone.

"take your panties off 'n get on the bed, bun.. just like i told you before."

you chew on your bottom lip nervously as you stare at the bunny tail butt plug chris has in his hands as you hook your fingers beneath the elastic band of your panties and pull them down your legs, shivering at the cold air that hits your skin.

you lay flat on your stomach, your body tensing when you feel chris grasp your hips, his fingers digging into your plush ass to pull you up onto your knees, making your back arch and present your most vulnerable parts to him.

you're so embarrassed—just like you were before—having him see you in such an open position that you shove your face into the blankets to hide your warm face, trying to forget that was happening until you feel the cold sensation of the lubed metal butt plug pressing against your puckered hole.

you fidget and gasp a little, body tensing up once again at the feeling of being stretched but chris shushes you, rubbing soothing circles at your lower spine with his thumb as he slowly pushes the toy inside.

as he works the plug deeper, your breathing hitches at the back of your throat, a whimper escaping your lips at the initial discomfort that soon fades into something a little strange—more tingly, more pleasurable.

"good, you got it... keep relaxin' f'me, bun.. almost there."

you comply to his words, allowing your body to relax and enjoy the sensations to let the bunny tail be fully seated inside, and you hear a content hum vibrate in chris' chest as he pats your ass.

"there we go.. good job." chris praises suddenly, and the words send a shiver down your spine and heat to rise to your cheeks, a shy smile spreading across your lips until a gasp emits from you, tensing up when you feel chris fingers reach between your thighs to touch your puffy folds. "remember what i said before, bun?"

"n..no?"

chris clicks his tongue against his teeth. "dumb bunny, hm? can't even remember anythin'."

"m'not dumb," you pout softly, your words slightly muffled by the blanket lets flush against your mouth. "right, right... 'cos surely you'd remember me wantin' to be inside your guts while the tail is in your ass, yeah?"

oh.

oh you remember that now.

you swallow thickly as you nod your head, your hands sliding up the sheets and gripping the fabric tightly as you hear chris shuffle behind you, the metal clanging on his belt as he unbuckles it.

"y'gonna let me in, bun? see if you can fit me in there?" he asks you, and you don't trust yourself to use your words as you nod your head weakly, only to whimper when you feel him pinch your thigh. "speak, kid."

"y-yes—yeah," you whisper, clearing your throat as you raise your head up a little to speak properly. "yes.. please."

"please," chris mocks you with a quiet laugh. "a'ight.."

the feeling of his hand back between your thighs, cupping your pussy and coaxing his fingers through your slick folds has your eyes rolling to the back of your head, especially when he finds your opening that's already beginning to clench around nothing.

you remain still as possible when chris' hips press against your ass, nudging the bunny tail only slightly but it still makes you let out an airy, causing him to chuckle as he aligns himself at your entrance.

"deep breathes, yeah?"

"mhm."

your words come out muffled as chris' cock begins to sink into your welcoming warmth, stretching out your walls deliciously. you struggle to breathe as he fills you up—and the feeling of being stuffed from both holes is enough to have your mind swirling and a cry to seep past your lips before your head slumps down to the bed, parting your lips to bite down onto the sheets.

"fuuuuuck..." chris hisses through his teeth as his hips lay flush against your ass he buries himself to the hilt, his hands gripping your waist tightly. "fuckin' tight, bun. shit—"

with slow and deliberate thrusts, he begins to move, withdrawing until only his tip lays nestled inside before sliding back in and you mewl, drooling around the bedsheets with each push of his hips while the bunny tail plug continues to stimulate your ass, adding an extra layer of pleasurable sensations to each stroke.

"o-oh—oh—ah... nngh... ah.. ah..." your sounds are muffled but uncontrollable as chris picks up speed, skin slapping against skin as his nails dig into your hips, keeping you still as he fucks into you from behind.

the plug in your ass twitches and bumps against your walls with every movement that chris makes, and it makes you more responsive and loud—stimulating you until tears start to bubble in your eyes.

"y'feel me, bun?" chris asks you between grunts, and he circles his hand around your wrist to guide yours to your tummy, pressing hard against the soft skin. "feel me in there?"

you let out a pleasurable cry at the feeling of him in your guts, his cock bumping against your palm on your belly with every deep thrust and he hums, angling his hips to hit that sweet spot inside that immediately makes you wail, body pushing up the bed as you crawl away from the stimulating pleasure.

"where you goin'?" chris laughs as he pulls you back onto his cock, and your mouth opens in a silent gasp as you slump against the sheets, your pussy clenching around him tightly as he leans over you, his chest pressing against your back as he continues to rut into you wildly, his breathing heavy in your ears. "gonna cum all over this dick, yeah? gonna make a fuckin' mess f'me."

divider credits. @issysh3ll

#©sturnioz #chris sturniolo smut #sturniolo smut #☆ fratboy!chris #☆ shy!reader #꒰ fratboy!chris x shy!reader prompt ꒱#꒰ STURNIOZ KINKMAS '24 ꒱ !

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stellarsagittarius · 9 months ago

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⏳️🪐 12th House and How Your Mental Anguish Affects You 🪐⏳️

Exchange readings: Open: You (Tarot) x Me (Astrology)

12H ruler in 1H

Imma give you a hug first, okay. What you have gone through, like the experiences that you have had with the world at large, all that you have seen in your life, you internalized it all. You have sort of taken it upon you to be the witness of the suffering around you. Because you feel it all so personally. The person you have become, the thoughts and beliefs you carry are the way they are because of the absurdity of life that you have felt so deeply. It has shaped you, a lot. Next time, try to detach. It is not about you, it was never about you, it about them. You are observing, not absorbing.

12H ruler in 2H

When you are at that lowest point, second guessing everything, it really does affect your ability to manage your resources. And more often than not it can make you feel like you are not worth-it, or that you simply do not deserve to be happy. Especially if you have Chiron in the 2H too, it can feel suffocating because you keep on doing thing, trying to make it work, but you never feel like you did enough. Affirm to yourself about your successes, keep a gratitude journal and remind yourself that your need/wants are all valid.

12H ruler in 3H

You can completely obsess over finding out the reasoning behind why certain things happen the way it did. It's like you want to understand, you want to make actual sense out of it, why your problems are causing you the things that are happening. This can lead to a detachment from actually allowing yourself to feel things out and like emotionally get in a better shape first. You can get stressed out about the facts, a lot of the times. Perhpas communication is something you truly struggle with. Talk it out with someone, understand your feelings first and then a lot of the facts will start to make sense too.

12H ruler in 4H

A lot of your turbulent thoughts and experiences affect you very deeply, like the depth which can make you question your entire existence. Now, I gotta be honest with this one, you are clearing up a lot of karma from your family lineage. You are going to the very root of the issues. Because these mental anguishes aren't surface level for you, they are seated very deeply within your psyche. You have to face these deep seated demons, otherwise you can keep them shoving them down, till it becomes completely unbearable to face yourself. On the positive note, learn to be vulnerable with yourself, learn to be more accepting of what you are going through.

12H ruler in 5H

When you are at the low point in your life, you start to put a great distance between enjoying yourself and becoming completely oblivious to your childlike nature. You need to embrace your inner child. Do what you want, but do not do it because you feel like you can't do anything else with your life. There needs to be like a balance here, between enjoying yourself and knowing when it can get destructive. Too much of anything never did good. You can struggle with finding that simplistic joy in life. So try and spend time alone for a while, maybe get a coloring book or just try and bake cookies. You don't have to be good at something to enjoy it. Even if it's loving yourself.

12H ruler in 6H

You can neglect your health like nobody's business. These thoughts, stress and anguish can manifest directly in your body. That's what it is. When you are not in a good energy, you know you need to reconnect with your body. This may come initially as a bit challenging to truly get yourself to do, but, once you build that habit over time, you will realise how much you have mastered yourself. Focus on your physical well-being. This placement is very simple. You don't need to spend time spaced out and in another world. Get down and strengthen your body, you will notice that you will start to feel much more better in your mind.

12H ruler in 7H

When you get to a low point in life, the point where you are confronted with your old habits, fears and challenging emotions, it highly reflects in your relationships (more so the romantic kind). You can easily slip into unhealthy patterns with your partners, like seeing them with rose colored glasses or not having a proper sense of boundary with them. And you may even fear that true vulnerability with them. So when that happens, seek to be honest by being polite. You are not for everyone, and the ones that are for you will always understand this. Relationship can either make you or break you, choose the people wisely.

12H ruler in 8H

At the lowest points in your life, the people who aren't by your side intentionally, remember them because they are not supposed to be a part of your life. A healthy bond is where both people are there for each other, and that's exactly what life keeps teaching you over and over again. Your biggest anguishes are be caused because of the way certain people treat you and use you for their own benefit. When that happens, remember your biggest enemy is what you do not choose to see within those who take advantage of your kind nature. Yes, we can witness everybody's suffering, but at the end of the day everybody is responsible for themselves.

12H ruler in 9H

When you are at that low point in your life, you can question your faith a lot. There is a feeling where trusting your morals can become really hard. It's like when you know you truly love something, but the mere beliefs that everybody has instilled within you from birth hold you back. And you may even be the type who rebels often because of this thing. Create your own beliefs. That will require you to question what you have always been taught, don't be afraid to question it. You need let yourself see thing. At your lowest you can really see in black and white. Take a step back and observe. Read and learn.

12H ruler in 10H

Many of your mental anguishes come from you struggling with what kind of image you want to uphold between other people. You may struggle a lot with showing up between people or excessively thinking of what other people may think of you when you are at the low points in your life. You can often feel like other people look so deep within you, within the things you want to hide from everybody. When that happens, remember that what others think of you is absolutely none of your business. As long as you know that you are on the right track, you don't need anyone to tell you otherwise.

12H ruler in 11H

You are learning to trust in your dream and not hold yourself back from achievement. You know when you are at those low points in your life, there could be a deep seated fear of missing out on opportunities. You can start to second guess your own hopes, uncertain if you even deserve to have what you want or not. There could also be this sense of feeling like there is no hope left for you, like there is nothing anymore you want to have. When that happens, try to remain grateful, look at all the cool things you have achieved till now, appriciate yourself, open yourself up to something new.

12H ruler in 12H

When you hit rock bottom, it's like plunging into the deepest recesses of your mind, where you confront your fears and doubts about existence. It's a heavy burden, carrying the weight of your own struggles and the suffering of the world within you. At times, it feels suffocating, like you're lost in a maze of your own thoughts, trying to make sense of it all. But amidst the darkness, there is also potential for a lot of spiritual growth. Your journey through the depths of your psyche can lead to a greater understanding of yourself and the universe. Meditate often, and write your thoughts, talk to someone like-minded. Do not isolate yourself either.

______♡______

That's all! Thanks for reading!

#astrology #natal chart reading #astrology readings #natal chart #astrology chart readings #astrology chart #12th house

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dontbesoweirdkira · 1 month ago

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How would Platonic! Yan! Batfamily react to Reader with Narcolepsy?

A/N:Thank you for requesting. I hope I did okay with this, please respectfully correct me if I got anything wrong or unintentionally offensive with this as I do not suffer from narcolepsy.

Warnings: Toxic and abusive family dynamics, infantalization, medication tampering, worsening issues

Masterlist

Requests: always open

Oh my gosh that would be the worse thing to deal with in a Yan! family. Especially with one as affectionate as them.

Can you imagine trying to avoid Dick or Tim but just falling right asleep in their arms from the stress...then when you wake up moments later, they aren't allowing you to leave their grasp...oh how terrifying that'd be.

Anyways, they are rather attentive to your needs and observant. If one of the siblings notice that you are showing signs that you will abruptly collapse, they will rush over and quickly guide you to a safe area where you can rest.

The family is very strict on not giving you certain tasks that may be hard on your body. Especially if you deal with cataplexy. If you need help with moving something, or completing a task, just ask someone. They will be very upset if you get yourself hurt.

The down side of not having great muscle control or overall weakness is the constant babying. They treat you as if you were made out of glass. It can be quite annoying when you need to strengthen your muscles even if it's very difficult for you. They also might enjoy keeping you weak and vulnerable because you have less of a chance to escape and no real ability to fight back. You are far to precious to not be in their care.

Your family is strict about not allowing you to hang out with friends and staying only in the home. Occasionally they'll allow you to have a supervised visit. They even may force you to take up schooling at home and you're not allowed to work. It's all far too dangerous when they aren't near to assist you. You cannot trust anyone outside of them.

If you suffer with hallucinations, whether that may be audio or visual, they will be very understanding. You aren't the only one in the family to suffer with symptoms like such. Many days Jason and Bruce are struggling with those things. I can't imagine anyone would poke fun, they'd just redirect you.

But his can kind of suck given that sometimes you cannot tell if something that happened was real or not. Your family may say that you were just having a hallucination but you swear that you heard them talking about tampering with your meds.

Speaking of such, they most definitely do. The medicine that is supposed to help with your EDS seems to have the opposite effect on you. Some days it seems like you've been sleeping for weeks. You swore that you feel asleep in the living room...why are you now in an entirely different sect of the mansion..???

If you suffer with memory issues, that will be a huge problem because so many things they get away with or manipulate you about and because you have no recollection of any events..you are just forced to go with it, even if your gut says something is wrong.

Sometimes the family can get a bit worried if you are up all night..they worry you might wonder off or get hurt while they are either on patrol or sleeping so one designated person must be up with you at all times.

Even when you're sleeping. Someone is monitoring you and your health. Usually Alfred or one of the siblings if they are free.

Often Tim will take the shift since he is usually home and doing work anyways. Too many times have you randomly woken up in his dark room with him in the corner watching you.

Your constant fatigue is an excuse your siblings may use to just carry you around without your consent. Yes, you were struggling up the stairs. but no. you didn't really want Dick to just come and pick you up and carry you around the house like a pet. It's worse when it's Jason because he throws you over his shoulder...he's working on it.

Alfred has a specialty diet for you, which kind of sucks sometimes when the others are eating your favorites. But it's for the best he tells you. It's supposed to help with your symptoms but...every time you eat his cooking, you just feel sick then super drowsy..Alfred says it's the adjustment period to the new diet..but you can't shake the feeling that the food is worsening your conditions

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johnbrand · 2 months ago

Text

Sister's New Boyfriend

“C’mon bro, didn’t you miss this?” Scott teased, his giant Size 13 foot plopped onto the coffee table in front of me.

“Cut it out, Scott,” I hissed, knowing my sister was bound to call us into the kitchen any minute now.

“Why should I?” Scott cockily grinned. “We both know you want to.”

I held back the scarlet that threatened to color my face. “That’s not true.”

“It’s only been what, seven or eight years since high school?” Scott’s grin shifted into an exaggerated frown. “Surely you haven't forgotten me, have you? And all the fun times we had together?”

Unfortunately I had not forgotten Scott, or the “fun times” he was referring to. The constant bullying; harassment and name-calling and even a few bouts of abuse. It was painful for me to reflect on, both of us being the same age and yet being emotionally attacked by a man double my size. Since those years, the gym and my therapist had helped me move past those vulnerable times. Even though I had struggled to find a relationship, I was stronger now; a fighter well-off with a supportive network.

“Luckily for you, I’ve moved on,” I snarked, sizing Scott up.

“I don’t think you have,” Scott’s smirk returned. “Otherwise you would’ve left as soon as you saw me.”

I had not expected Scott to be my sister’s new boyfriend. The man she had been gloating about for months, this “kind, sensible, loyal” being that had corrupted her life to the point that he was all she would talk about. I would have never assumed my sister–my older, highly educated sister–to end up with the malevolent jock who had destroyed my ego all those years ago. And after brief introductions, in which I realized I was still physically smaller than my former tormentor, I quickly sensed the looming danger of the situation.

“I’m not going to abandon my sister,” I retorted.

“You’re not going to abandon your commands, either,” Scott shot back, a bit to my confusion. Scott had apparently dropped out of college, but had become a fitness influencer in the years since, pulling in huge financial figures. It was difficult not to reflect on the fact that even though I had a degree, Scott had still come out on top. “Stop lying to yourself, buddy.”

Instead of another backhanded defense, I felt myself a slow warmth settling in his bones. My frustration subsided as a peaceful, almost artificial calm crawled over. My usual worries were smoothing over, something that Scott recognized immediately.

“Yeah, that’s it, buddy.” Again, the word sent a pleasurable warmth all across my frame, tingling my toes and twitching the corners of my mouth into the beginnings of a dopey smile. “I see a few years apart hasn’t weakened my conditioning on you at all, has it?”

I knew better than to answer. In therapy, I thought I had discussed all my qualms with Scott. Every single memory I could recover was heavily investigated, scrutinized, and then analyzed to create a plan for my future proceedings. But it was not until that very moment, in my sister’s living room reunited with my high school bully, that I realized I had only covered half of the relationship Scott had created for us. The memories my therapist and I had discussed, those were only the ones Scott had allowed me to remember.

“No Sir,” I replied, the title suddenly feeling appropriate. “Not at all. I still jack off to the thought of your magnificence at least twice a week as you instructed, Sir.”

My pupils inflated as Scott’s smirk grew sinister; this truth being revealed to both of us.

“What, you didn’t think I just let you go after graduation, did you?” Scott’s words cut right to the bone, my embarrassment finally flushing my face. “I guess my hypnosis was better than I thought it was back then. I like to keep all my boys on a leash, in case they ever become useful to me again.”

Before I could respond, Scott snapped his finger and pointed back at his foot. Immediately, I was kneeling before him, my nose inhaling his godly scent and my tongue running across the holy valleys of his sole. Every breath sent another wave of affection across me, the submissive alter ego Scott had created for me back in high school overriding all the defenses I had built up since then.

“Who’d have thought one of them would eventually become my brother-in-law?” Scott commented. Even as my former life and independence was quickly evaporating, his smug victory brought a single tear to my eye.

“I thought I was going to break the news!” My sister yelled from the kitchen, finally entering the conversation but apparently oblivious to what was actually happening. “Dinner will be set in a minute!”

“Thanks babe,” Scott called back, before searing his eyes straight through me. “Hope you’re ready to be an uncle too, buddy.”

That revelation snapped what was left of my free will. But now, I had more important things to worry about, like tending to Scott’s feet.

#male tf #male transformation #faggot tf #straight submission

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luvs4matt · 15 days ago

Note

I’m not trying to rush u, but when is soaked part 5 gonna happen 😭 I dying to what happened next

𝐒𝐎𝐀𝐊𝐄𝐃 , 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝟓 ✿ 𝐃𝐈𝐋𝐅!𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐖 𝐒𝐓𝐔𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐎𝐋𝐎

“oh baby.. is daddy makin’ your mind all fuzzy? huh?”

𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 - dilf!matt x subby!reader

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲 - in which, when matt witnesses reader letting someone flirt with her, he has no choice but to remind her who she belongs to.

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 - SMUT 18+, daddy kink, sir kink, begging, multiple orgasms, overstimulation, cow girl, praise, breeding, size kink, pet names (baby, honey, sweetheart, princess, good girls, sweet girl, angel, babe, bunny)

𝐇𝐄 𝐋𝐄𝐅𝐓 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐋𝐘𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐄 𝐇𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐂𝐔𝐅𝐅𝐄𝐃 𝐀𝐍𝐃 vulnerable, all by yourself. you find your way to your feet, running out of the bedroom. thank god lilly wasn’t home, because if she was, if she walked out of her bedroom, she would see you completely naked running around.

you finally found matt in the kitchen; you ran up to him and dug your face into his shoulder “matty.. m’sorry” tears start to well in your eyes, why would he leave you there like that? “yeah? y’gonna stop bein’ bad an’ lying, sayin’ that i’m mean when i have been so much nicer than i should’ve been after how you acted”

you nod “yes sir, i promise” he chuckles “you promise, huh?” you hummed as you nodded “well, then we should get my sweet girl out of the handcuffs, yeah?” you nodded again “please.. they are starting to hurt..” before he left the bedroom, he had put on a pair of sweatpants, and brought the key with him.

he turned you around as he grabbed the key from his pocket “there you go baby”

“thank you” he grabbed your waist “you wanna take your plug out too princess?”

“yes” he nodded “okay, just bend over the counter, alright?” you did just as he said, bending over the counter. you winced as he pulled it out “i know it hurts baby, m’sorry” he hugged you from behind before leaving kisses down your neck “need you matty..” he smirks “yeah?”

“mhm” you grind yourself back onto him “you think i teased you enough already tonight? hm?”

“yes sir” he turns you back around, placing his lips on yours. you were desperate, you tried to deepen the kiss but he pulled away “no baby, be patient. try it again and i’ll put you back in your cuffs”

“m’sorry” he kissed you again, this time, you moved at his pace. he lifted you onto the counter, never separating your lips. you gasp as you feel his fingers slowly trace up your thigh, he smiled “mm.. so sensitive” you let out a quiet whine, desperate for more attention.

“don’t worry princess, daddy’ll touch you soon, okay?” you nodded “okay.. just please don’t make it too long” he chuckles at your neediness “i won’t baby.. i won’t” he smiles as he kisses you.

he lifts you from the counter, bringing you to the couch. he sits you on top of him, allowing you to be on his lap “gon’ ride me honey?” you hummed “c’mon.. we’ve been working so hard on using our words, use ‘em” you rolled your hips against his bulge “yes sir, m’gonna ride you”

“good girl” you whimpered as you continued grinding on him “take my pants off sweet girl” you did as he said before getting back on top of him “can i now daddy?”

“go ahead angel” you line up your hole with his tip, he holds your waist as you sink down onto him. you struggled, his dick already so deep inside. it feels deeper with you being on top “need help babe?”

“yes.. please help me.. so deep..” he pushes you down until you have taken him all “see, you can do it” you sat there for a minute, in his arms, letting yourself get used to his size. no matter how many times you have sex, you’ve never got used to his size.

matt uses the grip on your waist to roll your hips, the sudden movements making you whimper “f- feels good..” he removes one hand from your waist, using it to hold your face “yeah?” you start to move yourself, bouncing on his cock.

you forgot all pain you were experiencing when he brought your face to his, your lips colliding together “just the prettiest little lips” he mumbled against you. you whined as he deepened the kiss.

you gasp as he suddenly starts thrusting up into you, you moan as he hits all of your spots “my good girl.. taking it so well” he bites his lip as he watches your face twist in pleasure “always- fuck- always take my dick like a fuckin’ champ, don’t you princess?”

you can’t comprehend what he is saying, you just know that you feel so good “oh baby..” his voice was laced with faux sympathy “is daddy makin’ your mind all fuzzy? huh?” your eyes rolled back. matt was right, your mind is all fuzzy, but you didn’t know he was right, you had no idea what he just said.

he brought you back into reality with a few taps on your cheek “i- huh?” he smiled “you’re so adorable.. you can’t even think straight” you couldn’t form a sentence, the pleasure was just so overwhelming “cum?” he wasn’t going to make you work for it this time “cum baby”

a loud moan erupted from your throat as you came around his cock hard “daddy’s close honey, it’s almost over” you whined in overstimulation “squeezin’ me so tight” he groaned.

as he was building his orgasm, he was also building your second one. “gonna cum with me sweetheart?” you frantically nodded.

he thrusted a few more times before he shot his load into you, triggering your orgasm “daddy!” he rides out your highs before you cradle yourself into him, allowing him to hold you, running his hands up and down your back “good bunny.. good bunny”

a/n - a little christmas present for you guys 💋💋

#☆ dilf!matthew sturniolo au #☆ subby!reader au #☆ dilf!matthew sturniolo x subby!reader #©luvs4matt #luvs4matt #matt sturniolo #smut #sturniolo triplets

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warping-realities · 30 days ago

Text

Sister's New Boyfriend - Redux

This story is a collab with the amazing @johnbrand! Hope you enjoy, guys!

"C'mon, bro, didn't you miss this?" Scott teased, while his massive size 13 foot plopped on the coffee table in front of me.

"Cut it out, Scott," I whispered, knowing my sister was about to summon us to the kitchen any minute.

"Why should I, Jap?" Scott smirked arrogantly. "We both know you want it."

I held back the blush threatening to color my face. "That's not true."

"It's been what, seven or eight years since high school?" Scott's smirk morphed into an exaggerated grimace. "Surely you haven't forgotten about me, have ya, Jap? And all the good times we had together?"

Unfortunately, I hadn't forgotten Scott, or the "good times" he was referring to. The constant bullying; the harassment, the slurs, and even some straight-up abuse sessions. It was painful to reflect on, us being the same age and yet emotionally assaulted by a guy who was twice my size. Since those years, the gym and my therapist had helped me overcome those vulnerable moments. Even though I'd struggled to find a relationship, I was stronger now; a fighter well-supported by a network.

"Luckily for you, I've moved on, and don't call me that! Me and your girlfriend are both Korean," I shot back, eyeing Scott.

"I don't think you have moved on," Scott's smirk returned. "Otherwise, you would've bailed the second you saw me."

I never expected Scott to be my sister's new boyfriend. The guy she had been bragging about for months, this "kind, sensible, and loyal" being who had corrupted her life to the point of being all she talked about. I never would've imagined my sister - my highly educated older sister - would end up with the malevolent jock who had destroyed my self-esteem all those years ago. And after brief introductions, in which I realized I was still physically smaller than my former tormentor, I quickly felt the impending danger of the situation.

"I'm not abandoning my sister," I retorted.

"You won't be abandoning your orders either," Scott replied, a bit to my confusion. Scott apparently had dropped out of college, but become a fitness influencer in the years since, raking in massive financial figures. It was hard not to reflect on the fact that even without a degree, Scott had still come out on top. "Stop lying to yourself, buddy."

Instead of another indirect defense, I felt a slow warmth settling into my bones. My frustration ebbed away as a peaceful, almost artificial calm spread. My usual concerns were smoothing out, something Scott immediately recognized.

"Yes, that's right, buddy." Again, the word sent a pleasant heat through my entire body, tingling my toes and making the corners of my mouth twitch into the beginnings of a dopey smile. "Looks like those years apart didn't weaken my conditioning on you, huh?"

I knew better than to respond. In therapy, I thought I had discussed all my doubts about Scott. Every memory I managed to recover had been thoroughly investigated, scrutinized, and then analyzed to create a plan for my future proceedings. But it wasn't until that moment, in my sister's living room, reunited with my high school bully, that I realized I had only covered half of the relationship Scott had created for us. The memories my therapist and I had discussed were only the ones Scott had allowed me to remember.

"No, sir," I replied, the title suddenly seeming appropriate. "Not at all. I still masturbate to your magnificence at least twice a week, like you commanded, sir."

My eyes widened as Scott's smile turned sinister; this truth laid bare between us.

"What, you didn't think I'd just let you go after graduation, did you?" Scott's words cut deep, my shame finally flushing my face. "Guess my hypnosis was better than I thought back then. I like to keep all my boys on a leash, in case they become useful to me again."

Before I could respond, Scott snapped his fingers and pointed to his foot. Immediately, I was on my knees before him, my nose inhaling his divine scent and my tongue tracing the sacred valleys of his sole. Each breath sent another wave of adoration through me, the submissive alter ego Scott had created for me in high school overriding all the defenses I had built since then.

"Who'd have thought one of them would end up my brother-in-law?" Scott mused. Even as my former life and independence were rapidly evaporating, his arrogant victory brought a single tear to my eye.

"I thought I'd give the news!" My sister called from the kitchen, finally joining the conversation, but apparently oblivious to what was truly transpiring. "Dinner will be ready in a minute!"

"Thank you, dear," Scott called back, before pinning his eyes directly on me. "Hope you're ready to be an uncle too, buddy."

This revelation momentarily snapped me back to consciousness. "What... no, that's impossible!"

"Oh but it is, Jap! You're gonna be Uncle to little Scott Jr. And that got me thinking. Your sister's become the perfect woman with my help. But a boy needs male role models in his life, the right male role models. Just the thought of something happening to me and Scott Jr. having someone like you as an example... no way. So as much as I've enjoyed reminiscing about our time in school and taking great pleasure in putting you back in your place again, it's time for a change, Jap... congrats, you're getting a promotion!"

"What? I... I don't understand..."

"I can't have a fucking faggot, foot-sucking, cock-gobbling piece of shit as an example for my son if I'm not around, Jap. I need someone more like me. It'll be hard to part with such a docile servant, but it's necessary! Look at me!"

And I looked... looked into those cruel eyes and felt the malice within them would be far greater than any before. Foreseeing what could be my total obliteration, I prepared to flee... but my sister... my nephew! I would have to resist... I would resist!

"Great, I always did love seeing that defiant look in your eyes, Jap, loved watching it succumb to worship and obedience... ah, don't fool yourself, those things will still be there, even greater, for they'll be sincere, but the challenge won't go away... no, it'll grow, become a self-confidence bordering on what some would call arrogance! But only those beneath us, and for you, there'll be only one above, me, Jap!"

"No... no... my name not..." I needed to cling to something, to who I was and not what Scott was trying to make me.

"Jap, it's your nickname... always has been... you don't give a shit where your ancestors are from... you're American and damn proud of it... and if some dumbass leftist tries to say anything, you either laugh at their idiocy or beat their ass... right, Jap?"

"I... I... no... I'm a... a proud..."

"Yes, a damn proud American."

"That... just a nickname... it's a nickname..."

"It's funny!"

"Funny... yeah... haha" I found myself agreeing, though inside I screamed that it wasn't right, even as my memories of time spent in Seoul during my childhood before moving to America began to blur... I... had never left the US, had I? And so what if my grandparents came from somewhere else... no... no...

"Jap, focus on me! I want you to go back to the day we first met, I have no idea when it was, but you'll certainly remember and tell me!"

"It was... in high school... gym class... I'd just moved from... where?"

"Doesn't matter, it was some American town... now what happened in that class?"

"D-dodge ball... you..."

"Ah yes, now I remember... you refused to play! And when the coach made you, I had to teach you a lesson. Know it was your fault, Jap, if you'd just shown a little grit from the start... nah... you were too good a target! But... you're shaking, man, what the fuck?!"

"I... I... I don't like remembering that..." that was one of my most hated memories, the start of my torment.

"I get it, buddy! But you... you could like it... I'm just wondering if that day you'd shown a little more machismo, things could've been different... I might've seen a bro instead of a... buddy. Ha! Probably not, but lucky for you I like your sister and she's gonna be the mother of my son so... let's just imagine that day instead of taking the first steps to becoming my buddy, you took the first steps to becoming not just my bro, but my best bro, someone worthy of caring for little Scott Jr if I'm not around!"

"What...?" What new brand of insanity was this?

"Let's go back to that day, Jap. But this time I want you to remember it correctly because on that day, you weren't a sniveling crybaby like you recall, quite the opposite. You showed up with a chip on your shoulder and challenged me! You got your ass kicked, sure, but you fought back, even managed to hit a few of my buddies, not me of course. After that, I had to teach a lesson, you remember what happened in the locker room?"

"I... no..." That hadn't happened... none of that... or had it?

"I beat the shit out of you, Jap, and along with it, gave you your nickname. You got pissed, tried to fight back, got your ass kicked some more... but in doing so, you earned something important to me and you, my respect."

"I... respect?"

"Yeah, respect, bro!" Scott replied with a grin, as if he knew very well what having his respect would change in my life, and I could feel it too, something shifting within me, alien, different...

"Of course you were still a scrawny little fucker, but you were my scrawny little fuck, my feisty little mutt, and not so little for long, am I right? 4 years of training and when necessary, a few performance-enhancing drugs made all the difference, didn't they? Soon you were almost as big as me. Course, for some things to come in, others gotta go, right? For every hour in the gym, one less studying, every party moment one less dedicated to the arts, but who cares about that, not my brother Jap, certainly!"

"I... I..." I could remember what he was talking about, hours in the gym sculpting muscle, sports teams at school, boozing with the guys, and... pranks... yeah, pranks on the nerds... the same ones who did my homework... no! No! I did my homework! I went to... "...college..."

"What about college?"

"I went... college!"

"Of course not! With our grades, bro? Never! But who needs college when you've got a body and charm like ours? You're the top salesman after me at my dad's car lot, charm and a smile getting us through, and a few sleepovers with the female clientele on the side, of course!"

"But you're with my sister now!”

"So? What she doesn't know won't hurt her, you're always saying that, bro!"

"I... no, no!" I needed to protect her from him, not this, never this!

"Yes, Jap! It was you who insisted I meet her, that I put her in her place, the annoying sister who tried to diminish you just because she went to college, who nagged you just because you were one of the guys, who never cared about academic success! You practically begged me to fix her!"

"I... I." Yes, no, protect her!!! But that's what he did, isn't it? He put her in the hands of the person he most admired, his best friend, and ensured she was... correctee! There was a place for the man and a place for the woman, and she was better with a man by her side, and so what if he sometimes strayed? A man has his needs, he himself... he had his needs... so why was Scott talking about him sleeping with clients... women...?

"Scott, I'm grateful for what you've done, you're my best friend, the only one I let call me that stupid nickname... but I... this can't be right... me sleeping... with women? You know I'm gay!"

"Again with that, Jap? We've had this conversation before. So let me reinforce one last time: you're not gay, never were! You confused the admiration you have for me, the true idolatry of my person, with homosexuality, you're not and have never been gay, the trail of women you've conquered is the biggest proof of that, isn't it?"

"I... no... NO!" The little that remained of my original self mustered one last defiant act, Scott wasn't taking this last thing from me.

"Ah but yes, you're exactly like me, Jap, identical in almost every way, always have been, always will be. You know why? Because the alternative to being my bro is being my buddy... being humiliated, crawling at my feet? Is that what you want, bro? Because I can arrange it!"

"I... I..." What more could I do? "I'm your bro, Scott."

"That's my bro!" He responded with a grin, as everything around me became a whirlwind and I felt myself change, become the man Scott wanted me to be, the last vestiges of my original self consumed in a wave of arrogance, masculinity, and power, and in the end... in the end, even that part of me liked what happened, for deep down, a more primal, animalistic part of the old me had always wanted this. Curiously, Scott himself changed before my eyes as I changed before him, becoming even larger, stronger, more handsome and dangerous, I knew this was happening because he had me, an almost-him to make him even more than he was, one feeding the other. Knowing this made me smile.

“And to think that when my sister told me she had a new boyfriend I thought I was going to have to find a way to get rid of a wimp. I'm glad that won't be necessary.”

"Me to, bro! So, Jap. What do you say about being the godfather of your sister son.?” Said Scott, smiling after repositioning himself.

“Fuck my sister, I’ll be the godfather of my best bro son!”

#male tf #mind change #reality change #mental transformation #jockification #corruption #musclegrowth #gay to straight

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plutosunshine · 2 months ago

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Where you will find your healing?

The ruler of the 12th house

The 12th house in astrology is often called the "house of the unconscious," dealing with themes of spirituality, isolation, and hidden realms of the psyche. However, it is also deeply connected to healing—particularly on a spiritual and psychological level. Healing in the 12th house is not about the physical body but the soul, mental health, and the release of karmic burdens. It's where we confront and resolve deep-seated fears, self-sabotaging behaviors, and unresolved emotional pain.

The ruler of the 12th house—depending on which house it governs in your natal chart—can offer key insights into the paths or methods through which you may experience healing.

The ruler of the 12th house is in the 1st house

You might be highly sensitive to the energies around you, often feeling that your inner struggles are visible, even when trying to hide them. Healing, in this context, requires self-awareness—acknowledging and understanding your hidden wounds instead of avoiding or suppressing them. Practices like journaling, introspection, and therapy can help bring these subconscious patterns to light.

With this placement, there is a strong need to express what is typically hidden. Healing may come through showing up authentically in the world, revealing your vulnerabilities, and allowing yourself to be seen, flaws and scars included. Art, creative expression, or public speaking can serve as powerful outlets for releasing buried pain, transforming those deep-seated wounds into something that empowers you.

Because the 1st house relates to your identity, self-image, and physical body, healing may also come through developing self-compassion and acceptance. Often, with this placement, there's a tendency to be too hard on yourself or to internalize the suffering from the 12th house. You may feel like you're carrying a heavy burden without even understanding why. However, developing compassion for yourself, recognizing your limitations, and being kind to yourself are essential steps toward healing. Mindfulness and meditation practices can help cultivate this sense of compassion.

This placement can indicate that spiritual growth and healing are central to your life path. You may find that your healing journey requires a spiritual or mystical approach. Meditation, energy work, or even time spent in solitude and retreat (a key theme of the 12th house) can help you process these deep-seated issues and bring peace to your soul.

Since the 1st house also rules the physical body, there's a direct connection between your subconscious and your physical health. Healing your deep-seated wounds may require body-based therapies, such as yoga, breathwork, or somatic experiencing. This can help release stored traumas in the body, making the connection between mind and body essential for your healing process. Attending to your body's needs and listening to what it's telling you can be a profound way to address long-held emotional or spiritual pain.

The ruler of the 12th house is in the 2nd house

Healing may come through working on your sense of self-worth and how you manage your material resources. Since the 2nd house relates to finances and possessions, you may find that grounding yourself in managing money, acquiring security, and building stability can be therapeutic. Developing a healthy relationship with what you value materially can help ease deeper anxieties rooted in the unconscious.

The 12th house represents isolation and the subconscious. Placing its ruler in the 2nd house suggests you may find healing by withdrawing from the material demands of the world at times. You might benefit from moments of solitude, where you can reflect on what you truly value and connect with your inner self. Meditation, spiritual retreats, or creative solitude can offer profound healing and allow you to realign your priorities.

This placement can suggest that certain old beliefs about money, self-worth, or material security, rooted in the subconscious patterns, must be let go for healing to occur. You may be carrying hidden fears or anxieties related to scarcity or self-worth that, when confronted and released, will open the door to both spiritual and material abundance.

Healing with this placement often requires you to blend the spiritual and material worlds—finding a sense of peace, security, and self-worth by tapping into the deeper, unconscious layers of your psyche. Reflecting on your relationship with money, possessions, and inner values will be crucial.

The ruler of the 12th house is in the 3rd house

Healing can come through communication, learning, and connecting with your immediate environment.

In this context, you may find that expressing your deeper thoughts and emotions—whether through journaling, talking with siblings, or close friends—helps you release buried feelings and heal inner wounds. Healing could also come through engaging in meaningful conversations or learning something new, particularly in areas that help you better understand your inner self.

Activities like meditation, mindfulness, or even writing about your experiences may also serve as powerful tools for self-awareness and emotional release. Traveling within your local area, taking short trips, or spending time in familiar environments also offers a sense of peace and healing, helping you process your emotions more consciously. Finding ways to bridge your inner world with your everyday interactions can unlock powerful healing energies for you.

The ruler of the 12th house is in the 4th house

Healing involves connecting with your home, family, and deepest roots.

In this case, you may find that healing is deeply tied to your family history or your relationship with your home life. Addressing unresolved issues from your past, particularly childhood experiences or family dynamics can bring you peace and closure. Spending time in your home, creating a nurturing and safe space for yourself, or even reconnecting with your family can help you heal emotional wounds that you may have been carrying unconsciously.

This placement also suggests that inner peace may be found through introspection and solitude at home. Practices like meditation, journaling, or simply retreating into the quiet of your private space can help you process and release deep-seated fears or anxieties. You might also find that exploring your ancestral roots or understanding family patterns offers powerful insights into your subconscious and aids in your emotional healing journey. Ultimately, grounding yourself in your personal and emotional foundations will be key to unlocking deep healing.

The ruler of the 12th house is in the 5th house

Healing comes through creative self-expression, joy, and embracing your inner child.

In this case, healing is found when you allow yourself to engage in activities that bring joy, fun, and spontaneity. Creative outlets such as art, music, writing, or any form of artistic expression can help you process unconscious emotions and release internal tension. These mediums connect you with deeper parts of yourself, channeling hidden emotions into something positive and uplifting.

Romantic relationships and love experiences can also help you heal. You may find that engaging in heartfelt, playful connections helps you heal emotional wounds tied to fear or vulnerability. Likewise, embracing your inner child—reclaiming a sense of play, adventure, and excitement—can unlock healing by releasing the weight of hidden fears and anxieties.

The 5th house also governs self-confidence and individuality, so healing comes when you allow yourself to shine and embrace who you are unapologetically. Finding joy in hobbies, spending time with children, or indulging in your passions can help bring about deep emotional and spiritual healing, reconnecting you with your true essence.

The ruler of the 12th house is in the 6th house

When the ruler of the 12th house is in the 6th house, healing is found by merging your subconscious or spiritual needs with practical, everyday actions. You heal through routines, work, health care, and service to others. Daily habits, such as regular exercise or mindfulness, help bring emotional stability, while serving or helping others can provide a deep sense of healing.

Work environments might reflect subconscious fears or anxieties, offering opportunities for self-growth. Holistic practices—like yoga, meditation, or energy healing—are especially beneficial, as they connect the mind, body, and spirit. Addressing psychosomatic symptoms or hidden emotional patterns tied to past experiences is also key to healing.

In essence, healing comes through structured routines, health-conscious habits, and service-oriented actions that balance physical and spiritual well-being.

The ruler of the 12th house is in the 7th house

Your healing process is likely to be intertwined with your relationships. Partnering with others—whether romantic, platonic, or professional—can help you access parts of your subconscious that need resolution. Issues like trust, boundaries, or hidden fears may surface in partnerships, but these relationships also offer profound opportunities for growth and healing.

Since the 12th house has a spiritual or karmic nature, its ruler in the 7th house suggests that certain partnerships may feel destined or karmic. You may be drawn to partners who help you uncover deeper spiritual lessons, and through these connections, you can find peace and emotional healing.

Relationships may force you to confront fears or unresolved issues from your past. Through the mirror of partnership, you can see your own subconscious patterns more clearly. This can be challenging, but facing these fears with a partner’s support leads to healing.

The ruler of the 12th house is in the 8th house

Your healing process is deeply transformative. This placement indicates that in order to heal, you may need to face significant internal changes. You are likely to go through cycles of release and rebirth, shedding old psychological baggage and emerging stronger. This process can be intense but ultimately leads to profound healing and personal growth.

The 8th house is where we encounter the shadow side of life—fear, trauma, loss, and taboo subjects like death and sexuality. The 12th house ruler suggests that you can heal by diving into these areas, bringing hidden fears and traumas to the surface to process and release them. This may involve facing past wounds or subconscious fears that have been buried but are ready to be transformed.

The 8th house rules intimate, deep bonds with others, especially through emotional and physical closeness. Healing can come through these powerful connections, where you learn to trust and surrender control. Vulnerability in intimate relationships allows you to release long-held emotional patterns and find healing in shared experiences.

Since the 12th house relates to spirituality and the subconscious, the ruler in the 8th house suggests that your healing may also involve spiritual transformation. Exploring mystical or esoteric practices, meditation, or engaging in inner shadow work can help you transform subconscious fears into personal empowerment.

The 8th house is often associated with crisis or loss, and while this can be challenging, it also represents opportunities for deep healing. You may find that healing comes after significant life transitions—whether through financial change, the ending of a relationship, or confronting mortality. These events push you to go deeper within yourself, leading to healing through acceptance and transformation.

The ruler of the 12th house is in the 9th house

Healing may come from exploring spiritual teachings, religious practices, or new philosophical ideas. Engaging in deep contemplation about the meaning of life, purpose, and the universe can provide clarity and inner peace.

Travel, particularly to foreign lands, can offer solace and rejuvenation. Exposure to different cultures, spiritual traditions, or sacred places can bring about profound healing experiences.

The 9th house also rules higher education. Healing could come through engaging in study, whether formal education or self-guided learning. This can include reading philosophical works or even studying healing modalities like yoga, meditation, or psychology.

The 9th house, with its connection to belief systems, offers a potential path to healing. Reexamining your personal faith or finding a new belief system that resonates with your soul’s deeper needs can provide a strong foundation for emotional and spiritual healing.

The ruler of the 12th house is in the 10th house

Healing and spiritual growth are closely tied to your career, public life, or social status.

With this placement, you might find that engaging in meaningful work, pursuing a career that helps others, or taking on a role in the public eye brings deep personal healing. You could also be drawn to professions that involve caring for the less fortunate, working in hospitals, mental health, or spiritual fields where you support others behind the scenes. Healing can also come through achieving a sense of purpose and recognition in your work and overcoming any fears of failure or feelings of being unseen.

Balancing your private spiritual needs with your public responsibilities is crucial. If you use your professional life as a vehicle for service or healing, it can be a source of profound fulfillment.

The ruler of the 12th house is in the 11th house

Healing and spiritual growth are closely connected to your friendships, social groups, and long-term aspirations.

With this placement, you might find healing through meaningful connections with like-minded people or by being part of a group that shares common ideals. Participating in humanitarian causes or working toward collective goals can be a source of deep fulfillment and spiritual renewal. You may feel drawn to helping others within your community or engaging in social movements that bring healing to yourself and society as a whole.

Additionally, your spiritual growth can emerge through your ability to connect with people who help you expand your consciousness and allow you to express your unique vision for the future. Your healing journey might also involve balancing your need for solitude with your desire to be part of a larger collective, finding ways to contribute to the greater good while nurturing your own inner world.

The ruler of the 12th house is in the 12th house

This placement signifies a deeply introspective and spiritual journey toward healing.

You may find that solitude, meditation, spiritual practices, or time spent in retreat from the outside world are essential for your healing and personal growth. You’re likely to feel a strong connection to the unseen or mystical realms, and engaging in these areas can provide significant healing. There could be a natural affinity for helping others in quiet, behind-the-scenes ways, such as working in hospitals, spiritual centers, or charitable institutions.

This placement may indicate a need to confront deep-seated fears, unresolved emotional issues, or hidden parts of yourself that have been suppressed. Healing might come from understanding and integrating these aspects of your psyche, working through karmic patterns, or releasing past traumas. Your spiritual journey is one of self-discovery, compassion, and perhaps even surrender, allowing you to experience profound transformation through solitude and inner exploration.

#astrology #astro #natal chart #astro observations #birth chart #astro notes #astrology posts #zodiac #zodiac signs #the 12th house #12th house

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bluelockmaniac · 9 months ago

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★ ft. itoshi sae x gn!reader 彡 wc: 1k

▯ synopsis. he reluctantly agrees to let you do his nighttime skincare routine, but surprises you at the end with something you don't expect.

sae still couldn’t quite understand why he had agreed to let you do his nighttime skincare routine. he silently laid in bed, watching you from afar as you clumsily rummaged through the the drawers of your glowing vanity, searching for whatever products you had planned to put on his uninterested face.

a few moments later, you cheerfully skip over to him with breathy giggles and colourful containers in your hands. from the content smile tugging at your lips alone, he was beginning to regret ever allowing you to help him out.

in hindsight, he realized he should have just slapped on some moisturizer as he normally would and gone to bed, but no— your adorable pleading earlier had managed to soften his heart.

“quit the bubbly act,” he mumbles, voice muffled by the pillow. he feels the mattress dipping next to him under your added weight. “it’s creeping me out.”

“c’mon, look at me,” the corners of your lips quirk up as you bring his head to rest on your plushy thigh. he reluctantly looks up at you through his thick lashes, letting out a soft groan when he feels you sliding a fuzzy teddy bear headband over his head, gently pushing back his red bangs.

he raises his arm slowly and places his palm on the rise of your cheek, soothing your soft skin. “sweetheart, you don’t have to do all this– the moisturizer is fine.”

“yes, yes, i know,” you turn your head to the side, picking up the cosmetics and placing them messily on his chest. “i’m doing this because i want to. you’ve already cleansed your face, right?”

sae subtly nods, sighing as his arm falls back to his side. he closes his eyes and readjusts his head comfortably on your lap as he hears the sound of you flicking the toner container open. you pour the solution onto your palms, gently dabbing it onto his soft face, and then rubbing it from his forehead all the way down to his neck.

“does this feel good, sae?” you cooed serenely, tossing the toner aside on the bed before reaching for the serum tube. his teal eyes, partially open now, were deeply immersed in watching you as you applied the serum, massaging it smoothly and carefully to avoid getting it in his eyes.

“mmh, you’re talking too much,” he grumbles faintly as his hand slips up your loose shirt, gently caressing your stomach. his half-lidded eyes were hesitating, threatening to shut once more under the calm soothings of your fingers. “just shut up and hurry, i want to sleep…”

“i’m almost done— look, only the moisturizer’s left now.” you giggle as you look at your boyfriend’s drowsy face, hearing his occasional sighs and noticing his struggle to stay awake. it warms your heart that he trusts you enough to allow himself to be seen by you in his most vulnerable moments.

“sae, can i please please please put the cream on my face and then rub it from my skin to yours? pleaseee?” you beg, batting your eyelashes at him as if it’ll convince him— it worked once, but sae won’t let it happen again, right?

right.

his auburn brows knit together, eyes narrowing as he shoots you a disgusted look. his big hand grabs your jaw firmly, squeezing your cheeks together. “ew, no. weirdo.”

you pout, “sae! stop acting as if my face is infested with germs!”

“it is, though.” he retorts calmly.

“—contagious germs.” you correct yourself, squishing his slippery cheeks harshly. “fine, whatever… so much for pampering and making me happy, sae…”

he rolls his eyes as you begin smearing the creamy substance on his face, a small smile threatening to stretch along his lips. “stop being so dramatic and hand me the chapstick,”

you blink in confusion, turning your head to grab the said product. you hand it over to him without much thought, watching as he pushes himself up with his arms, sitting up against the headboard— the warmth of his head on your lap dissipates, feeling empty now that he was no longer resting there.

sae brings the lip balm to his mouth, biting the cap off. “c’mere,” he beckons you closer to him, gripping your chin as he drags the vanilla-scented bliss across your plump lips. he tilts his head to the side, then throws the tube inattentively on the bed.

“woah, sae being a gentleman? that’s n—” you were interrupted as he brought his hand to the small of your back, pulling you impossibly closer to his chest and kissing you on your lips delicately, stealing the scented, buttery salve he applied earlier and transferring it onto his lips.

your eyes widen, hands instinctively sliding up your face to cover the blush blossoming on your cheeks. your fingers separated carefully, peeking at the football player’s blank, unaffected expression. “w-well, that’s one way to put on chapstick…”

“you looked beautiful, i guess.” he sighs, flopping back onto the bed.

it wasn’t until hearty, soft laughs escaped your parted lips that he glanced at you confused, wondering as to why you palmed your mouth, fruitlessly trying to suppress the sounds. he lifts a brow, “what’s so funny?”

you shake your head, still giggling, as your arm reaches to your nightstand to grab your phone. grinning mischievously, you aim the camera at his now-frowning face and snap a photo.

“what the heck are you d—”

“shh,” you smile, handing him the phone and kissing his cheek as you comb your fingers through his hair. “aren’t you adorable?”

his face falls, cheeks warming as he stares at the childish picture of him wearing the wooly teddy bear headband. he gives you back your phone with a grunt, flicking your forehead gently before pulling you into his arms. pressing soft kisses to your head, he holds you close, a smile tugging at his lips despite his mock annoyance. “what a little tease…”

he did not take it off.

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esotericalchemist · 4 months ago

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𝐂𝐡𝐢𝐫𝐨𝐧 - 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐦𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐜𝐢𝐧𝐞 ❃°•

Masterlist - YouTube (subliminals)

Chiron in astrology represents the deepest wounds we carry, often rooted in past experiences or emotional traumas. These wounds are not merely physical but are connected to our sense of identity, self-worth, and ability to heal. Chiron shows us where we feel the most vulnerable and where we often face repeated challenges. However, these wounds are also the key to our greatest healing and transformation. By confronting and working through the pain associated with Chiron, we can access profound wisdom and inner strength. The journey with Chiron is not just about healing ourselves but also about learning how to use that healing to help others. As we move through the discomfort and pain, we discover that what once wounded us can become the very thing that empowers us, leading to greater compassion, self-awareness, and personal growth.

𝐀𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐂𝐡𝐢𝐫𝐨𝐧

Chiron in Aries highlights wounds related to self-identity, personal courage, and asserting oneself. Individuals with this placement often face challenges around self-confidence, experiencing self-doubt or fearing failure. You may believe you don’t deserve recognition or find it difficult to take initiative and assert your individuality, which creates a deep-seated wound around personal power and self-assurance. Healing occurs by embracing your inherent worth and developing the confidence to lead, assert yourself, and go after what you desire. It involves learning to take bold actions without fear of rejection and affirming your right to be seen, heard, and appreciated.

Through the Houses

1st House:Wound: You may struggle with asserting your identity and feel uneasy taking the lead, often worrying about how others view you. Healing: Embrace your uniqueness and express yourself boldly without seeking approval. Healing comes from owning your presence and taking initiative with confidence.

2nd House:Wound: The wound is linked to self-worth and value, creating insecurities about your ability to provide for yourself or assert your values. Healing: Recognize your worth beyond material wealth or external validation. Build confidence in your personal values and take charge of creating your own sense of security.

3rd House:Wound: You might doubt your communication abilities, feeling insecure about expressing your ideas or asserting your opinions. Healing: Practice speaking up and trust in your intellect. Healing comes from expressing your thoughts with confidence, knowing that your voice matters.

4th House:Wound: You may struggle with feeling emotionally secure or connected to your family, leading to discomfort when asserting yourself in your home environment. Healing: Create emotional stability by affirming your right to feel supported and safe. Healing comes from standing up for your needs within your family and fostering your own sense of belonging.

5th House:Wound: You might fear expressing your creativity or worry about rejection in your love life or when showcasing your talents. Healing: Allow yourself to embrace creativity without fearing judgment. Take risks in love and self-expression, knowing your talents are valid and worthy of appreciation.

6th House:Wound: You may feel undervalued in your work or struggle to assert your needs in daily routines, leading to feelings of inadequacy or being overwhelmed. Healing: Stand up for your worth in the workplace and assert boundaries in your daily life. Healing comes from taking control and recognizing the value you bring to your work and routine.

7th House:Wound: You may hesitate to assert your needs in relationships, fearing rejection or conflict, which can lead to suppressing your desires. Healing: Learn to assert yourself in partnerships without fear. Healing comes from valuing your individuality within relationships and establishing healthy boundaries based on mutual respect.

8th House:Wound: You might fear vulnerability and struggle to assert control over shared resources, intimacy, or emotional depth, leading to feelings of powerlessness. Healing: Embrace vulnerability as a strength and assert your right to equal power in shared situations. Healing comes from allowing deep emotional connections and standing confidently in joint endeavors.

9th House:Wound: You may feel insecure about asserting your philosophical or spiritual beliefs, fearing judgment or alienation. Healing: Stand firm in your beliefs and pursue your vision of the world with confidence. Healing comes from embracing your own truth and expanding your horizons without fear.

10th House:Wound: You might feel insecure about asserting yourself in your career or public life, fearing failure or judgment in professional aspirations. Healing: Take bold steps in your career, knowing that success comes from embracing responsibility and asserting your talents. Healing comes from trusting your ability to thrive in public roles.

11th House:Wound: You may feel out of place in group settings, struggling to assert your individuality in social circles or communities. Healing: Embrace your unique contributions and take leadership roles within groups confidently. Healing comes from finding your place in social settings without conforming to others' expectations.

12th House:Wound: This wound relates to unconscious fears, making it difficult to assert yourself in spiritual or solitary pursuits, or creating a fear of being overlooked. Healing: Embrace solitude and your spiritual journey, learning to assert your inner strength without relying on external validation. Healing comes from recognizing your deep inner power and connection to the universe.

𝐓𝐚𝐮𝐫𝐮𝐬 𝐂𝐡𝐢𝐫𝐨𝐧

Chiron in Taurus highlights wounds around self-worth, stability, and security, especially in the material and physical realms. Individuals with this placement may struggle with feeling valued or secure, often fearing scarcity or instability in their lives. You may find it difficult to feel satisfied with what you have or struggle with body image and physical comfort, leading to feelings of inadequacy. Healing for Chiron in Taurus comes from building a sense of self-worth that doesn’t rely on external validation or material possessions. It’s about cultivating inner security, learning to enjoy life’s pleasures without guilt, and trusting that your needs will be met. Developing a deeper connection to your self-worth is key to this healing journey.

Through the Houses

1st House:Wound: You may struggle with insecurity about your physical appearance or self-worth, fearing that you aren’t enough or aren’t desirable. Healing: Focus on building a healthy relationship with your body and appearance. Healing comes from self-acceptance and developing confidence that transcends the physical.

2nd House:Wound: The wound centers around financial insecurity and feeling like you never have enough. You may fear scarcity or place your self-worth on material possessions. Healing: Cultivate a sense of value that goes beyond material things. Healing comes from building inner security and trusting that you can meet your needs without relying on external measures of success.

3rd House:Wound: You may feel inadequate when communicating your values or ideas, struggling with expressing yourself or doubting the importance of your voice. Healing: Healing comes from learning to communicate with confidence and trusting that your thoughts and opinions are valuable, even if they differ from others’.

4th House:Wound: Your wound may revolve around emotional or material instability in your home life. You may feel ungrounded or disconnected from your family environment. Healing: Create emotional security within yourself and build a space, physical or emotional, where you feel safe and nurtured. Healing comes from finding a sense of stability and comfort in your personal environment.

5th House:Wound: You may fear expressing your creativity or feel undeserving of life’s pleasures, struggling with self-doubt in creative or romantic pursuits. Healing: Embrace your creative and romantic sides without needing external validation. Allow yourself to experience joy and pleasure freely, knowing that your expressions are worthy and valuable.

6th House:Wound: You may feel undervalued in your work or struggle with health and body image issues, leading to feelings of inadequacy in your daily routines. Healing: Focus on creating a balanced routine that nurtures both your mind and body. Healing comes from recognizing the value of your work and caring for your physical and mental well-being.

7th House:Wound: The wound centers around relationships, particularly feeling valued by partners. You may struggle with self-worth in partnerships, fearing rejection or inadequacy. Healing: Build a sense of self-worth that isn’t dependent on a partner’s validation. Healing comes from setting healthy boundaries and fostering relationships that are based on mutual respect and value.

8th House:Wound: You may fear vulnerability or struggle with issues of trust in intimacy and shared resources, feeling a need to maintain control. Healing: Embrace vulnerability as a strength and trust in your ability to navigate intimate connections. Healing comes from building trust in shared resources and learning to let go of the need for control in emotionally charged situations.

9th House:Wound: You may feel insecure about your beliefs or struggle to find a sense of meaning or purpose in life, fearing judgment or rejection for your philosophical views. Healing: Embrace your unique perspective and trust in your personal journey. Healing comes from exploring new ideas and trusting that your beliefs and worldview are valuable.

10th House:Wound: You may feel insecure about your career, public image, or professional success, worrying about being undervalued or judged by society. Healing: Define success on your own terms and focus on building a career that aligns with your true values, not just societal expectations. Healing comes from trusting in your long-term achievements and feeling proud of the path you choose.

11th House:Wound: You may feel like an outsider in social groups or fear that you don’t contribute enough to society or group efforts, leading to feelings of disconnection. Healing: Find communities that resonate with your values and contribute meaningfully to collective goals. Healing comes from trusting that your unique qualities are valuable and that you have a meaningful role in group settings.

12th House:Wound: This wound is tied to feelings of isolation or spiritual disconnection, possibly manifesting as fear of losing touch with reality or struggling to trust life’s flow. Healing: Embrace solitude as a path to self-awareness and inner peace. Healing comes from developing spiritual practices that help you feel connected to the universe and trusting in the natural flow of life.

𝐆𝐞𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐢 𝐂𝐡𝐢𝐫𝐨𝐧

Chiron in Gemini highlights wounds around communication, intellect, and self-expression. Individuals with this placement may struggle with feeling misunderstood or doubt their ability to communicate effectively. You may have experienced criticism or rejection when sharing your ideas, leading to insecurities about your intelligence and your capacity to connect with others through words. Healing involves embracing your unique voice and trusting your ability to communicate meaningfully. It’s essential to express yourself without fearing judgment and to recognize the inherent value of your ideas and words. Building confidence in your intellect and trusting that your voice matters are critical to the healing process.

Through the Houses

1st House:Wound: You may struggle with expressing your identity, feeling misunderstood or overlooked when trying to communicate who you are. Healing: Embrace your personal voice and assert your identity with confidence. Healing comes from expressing yourself without fear of being judged or misunderstood.

2nd House:Wound: The wound revolves around expressing your values and self-worth. You may feel insecure about your ability to communicate what you believe is valuable, both within yourself and materially. Healing: Build confidence in your values and express them clearly. Trust that your voice is essential in matters of worth, and that your contributions are meaningful.

3rd House:Wound: This wound directly affects communication. You may feel anxious about speaking up or fear that your ideas aren’t worthy of attention or respect. Healing: Trust your intellect and embrace your ability to communicate effectively. Practice speaking with confidence, knowing that your thoughts and ideas are valuable and deserving of attention.

4th House:Wound: You may have faced challenges communicating within your family, leading to feelings of isolation or not being heard in your home environment. Healing: Focus on improving communication in your family and creating emotional security. Healing comes from establishing an open, honest dialogue where you feel safe expressing yourself.

5th House:Wound: You may feel insecure about expressing your creativity or worry that your talents won’t be appreciated or recognized. Healing: Embrace your creative voice and allow yourself to share your passions without fear of judgment. Healing comes from realizing that your self-expression is valid and valuable, regardless of external validation.

6th House:Wound: This wound may manifest in the workplace or daily routines, where you feel misunderstood or underappreciated for your efforts or ideas. Healing: Improve communication in your work life by asserting yourself more confidently in daily interactions. Healing comes from expressing your needs and ideas with clarity, especially in service roles.

7th House:Wound: You may struggle with communication in partnerships, fearing that your thoughts and feelings are not heard or valued by your partner. Healing: Work on expressing yourself openly in relationships. Healing comes from building trust in your ability to communicate effectively and being confident that your voice is valued in partnerships.

8th House:Wound: You may find it challenging to communicate about deep emotional issues, fearing vulnerability or that your emotions won’t be understood. Healing: Learn to express your deeper feelings and fears openly. Healing comes from trusting that vulnerability in communication can strengthen intimacy and foster transformation in relationships.

9th House:Wound: You may feel insecure about sharing your beliefs or ideas, fearing they will be misunderstood or dismissed. Healing: Embrace your intellectual and spiritual voice, and trust that your beliefs are valid. Healing comes from confidently sharing your worldview and exploring new perspectives with an open heart.

10th House:Wound: You may feel insecure about communicating your career goals or expressing yourself in professional settings, fearing judgment or failure. Healing: Work on clearly expressing your ambitions in your career. Healing comes from building confidence in your professional voice and trusting that your ideas hold value in your field.

11th House:Wound: You may feel like an outsider in group settings, fearing that your ideas are not accepted or that you can’t express yourself freely within social circles. Healing: Find communities that resonate with your interests and values. Healing comes from trusting that your voice contributes meaningfully to the collective and that your unique perspective enhances the group.

12th House:Wound: You may feel silenced or invisible, especially in spiritual or unconscious realms, fearing that your deeper thoughts or insights will be dismissed. Healing: Embrace spiritual practices that allow for self-expression and inner reflection. Healing comes from trusting your intuition and sharing your spiritual insights with confidence, even if it means expressing yourself in solitude.

𝐂𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫 𝐂𝐡𝐢𝐫𝐨𝐧

Chiron in Cancer signifies wounds related to emotional security, family, nurturing, and belonging. Those with this placement may feel emotionally vulnerable, struggle with feelings of abandonment, or wrestle with a deep sense of being unloved or unsupported. These wounds can lead to difficulties in expressing or receiving emotional care, forming close relationships, and feeling at home within themselves or their family structures. Healing begins by developing emotional resilience and creating a strong inner sense of security. Embracing your sensitivity as a strength and learning to nurture yourself are crucial steps. Building emotional foundations that aren’t reliant on external validation and setting healthy boundaries within family or relationships will allow you to receive love and care without guilt.

Through the Houses

1st House:Wound: You may feel insecure about your emotional sensitivity and how others perceive you, fearing rejection for your vulnerability. Healing: Embrace your emotional depth as part of your identity. Healing comes from accepting your sensitivity as a guiding strength rather than something to hide.

2nd House:Wound: The wound relates to insecurity around emotional and financial stability, often tied to feelings of unworthiness or a lack of nurturing. Healing: Develop a sense of self-worth that is not dependent on material security. Healing comes from trusting in your ability to provide emotional and financial support for yourself.

3rd House:Wound: You may feel insecure about sharing your emotions or experience misunderstandings in family communication. Healing: Practice expressing your feelings openly and trust your voice. Healing comes from learning to communicate your emotional needs confidently and feeling heard.

4th House:Wound: The wound is deeply connected to family and home life, often manifesting as feelings of abandonment or emotional neglect. Healing: Create your own sense of emotional security by nurturing yourself. Building a home environment that supports your emotional well-being is key to healing.

5th House:Wound: You may fear rejection in love and romance or struggle with expressing your emotions creatively. Healing: Allow yourself to express emotions in creative endeavors and personal relationships. Healing comes from embracing vulnerability and being open to love without the fear of rejection.

6th House:Wound: You might feel emotionally drained by work or daily routines, often feeling unappreciated for your emotional contributions. Healing: Set boundaries and prioritize self-care in your daily life. Healing comes from recognizing and honoring your emotional needs in both work and routine.

7th House:Wound: The wound revolves around close relationships, where you may feel emotionally insecure or fear abandonment. Healing: Build healthy emotional boundaries in partnerships and practice emotional openness without fear. Healing comes from trusting that emotional reciprocity is possible within relationships.

8th House:Wound: You may fear emotional intimacy or have trust issues in deep relationships, leading to difficulties in bonding emotionally with others. Healing: Embrace vulnerability and trust your ability to navigate deep emotional connections. Healing comes from allowing others to share your emotional world and fostering trust.

9th House:Wound: Emotional insecurity may arise around your beliefs or spiritual path, making you feel disconnected from a larger sense of belonging. Healing: Embrace your unique emotional and spiritual journey. Healing comes from trusting in your emotional wisdom and allowing your beliefs to guide you with confidence.

10th House:Wound: You may feel insecure about your public image or career, struggling to balance emotional needs with professional success. Healing: Integrate emotional care into your public and professional life. Healing comes from acknowledging your emotional needs while pursuing your ambitions and career goals.

11th House:Wound: You may feel emotionally disconnected or unsupported in social circles or larger community groups. Healing: Seek out or create communities where you feel emotionally safe and valued. Healing comes from embracing your emotional uniqueness and finding your place within a collective.

12th House:Wound: You may feel emotionally isolated or overwhelmed by unconscious fears, struggling to find inner peace. Healing: Embrace solitude as a source of emotional strength and develop spiritual practices that nurture your emotional world. Healing comes from finding peace within and trusting your connection to the greater whole.

𝐋𝐞𝐨 𝐂𝐡𝐢𝐫𝐨𝐧

Chiron in Leo represents wounds around self-expression, creativity, and the need to be seen and appreciated for who you truly are. Individuals with this placement may feel inadequate or unworthy of recognition and validation, often struggling with fears of rejection, criticism, or failure when expressing creativity or stepping into leadership roles. These wounds can manifest as insecurity about personal talents, a fear of being overlooked, or hesitance to take the spotlight. Healing involves embracing your inner light and expressing yourself authentically, without relying on external validation. It’s essential to build self-confidence in your creative abilities, talents, and leadership potential. Taking risks in self-expression, creativity, and personal leadership without fearing rejection is key. Recognizing your inherent worth and cultivating joy in your unique contributions will help heal wounds of feeling unseen or unworthy.

Through the Houses

1st House:Wound: You may feel insecure about your identity and how others perceive your self-expression, leading to a fear of standing out. Healing: Embrace your individuality and confidently take charge of your life. Healing comes from shining without needing others’ approval.

2nd House:Wound: You may struggle with self-worth, feeling as though your talents or creative abilities are undervalued or unrecognized. Healing: Develop a sense of inner worth that doesn’t depend on external praise. Healing comes from appreciating the intrinsic value of your creative talents and personal resources.

3rd House:Wound: You may feel insecure about expressing your ideas or creativity in everyday conversations and interactions. Healing: Trust in your voice and communicate your thoughts with confidence. Healing comes from recognizing that your ideas are valuable and deserve to be shared.

4th House:Wound: Emotional insecurity in the home or family may have left you feeling overlooked or unappreciated as a child. Healing: Create a nurturing environment where your personal expression is valued. Healing comes from embracing your creativity within your family and home life.

5th House:Wound: You may struggle to express your creativity, talents, or passions, fearing rejection or failure in artistic or romantic endeavors. Healing: Take creative and emotional risks without worrying about judgment. Healing comes from finding joy in self-expression and pursuing your passions with confidence.

6th House:Wound: You may feel unappreciated in your work or daily routines, especially when it comes to your creative contributions. Healing: Integrate creativity into your everyday life and work. Healing comes from recognizing and valuing your unique talents and contributions in your daily routine and workplace.

7th House:Wound: You may feel unrecognized or overshadowed in relationships, fearing that your individuality gets lost in partnerships. Healing: Assert your creative self in relationships and allow your individuality to shine. Healing comes from balancing personal expression with meaningful connections.

8th House:Wound: You may fear vulnerability in intimate relationships, especially when it comes to expressing your deepest creative desires or talents. Healing: Embrace vulnerability in emotional and creative connections. Healing comes from trusting in your creativity’s transformative power for both yourself and others.

9th House:Wound: You may feel insecure about expressing your beliefs, worldview, or creative philosophies, fearing judgment or dismissal. Healing: Stand confidently in your personal beliefs and express your creative visions without fear. Healing comes from embracing and sharing your unique perspective with others.

10th House:Wound: You may feel insecure about expressing yourself in your career or public life, fearing that your creative talents will not be acknowledged. Healing: Boldly express your creative self in your professional life and public roles. Success comes from owning your leadership and talents in your career.

11th House:Wound: You may feel like you don’t belong or that your creative contributions are undervalued within group settings or communities. Healing: Embrace your unique contributions in social and collective settings. Healing comes from finding a place where your creativity is appreciated and valued.

12th House:Wound: You may feel disconnected from your creativity or have unconscious fears of being unrecognized, leading you to hide your talents. Healing: Embrace your creative power, allowing it to flow through private or spiritual practices. Healing comes from trusting that your talents are valuable, even if not always visible to others.

𝐕𝐢𝐫𝐠𝐨 𝐂𝐡𝐢𝐫𝐨𝐧

Chiron in Virgo is associated with wounds surrounding perfectionism, service, and health. Those with this placement often feel a deep sense of inadequacy, coupled with the pressure to meet impossibly high standards. There’s frequently a fear of not being good enough or failing in their duties—whether in work, health, or service to others. These wounds manifest as self-criticism, fear of mistakes, and a belief that they need to "fix" themselves or others to be worthy. Healing comes from accepting your imperfections and recognizing that your worth isn’t defined by your ability to serve or be perfect. Developing self-compassion and embracing the idea of “good enough” are key. It’s important to release the need to control or fix everything and to find balance between work, self-care, and emotional well-being. Accepting that healing involves both yourself and others is essential.

Through the Houses

1st House:Wound: You may feel insecure about your self-image or how you present yourself, often obsessing over perceived flaws. Healing: Heal by accepting yourself fully, flaws included. Self-compassion and embracing your worth beyond appearances will quiet your inner critic.

2nd House:Wound: You may struggle with self-worth, tying your value to how useful or productive you are, often feeling you're not "enough." Healing: Build self-worth that isn’t tied to achievements or material success. Healing comes from recognizing your inherent value beyond what you produce.

3rd House:Wound: You may feel inadequate in communication, fearing that your thoughts aren’t good enough or that you’re not smart enough. Healing: Trust in your intellect and embrace the learning process. Healing comes from letting go of the need to be perfect in communication and focusing on expressing yourself authentically.

4th House:Wound: You may have felt unappreciated or inadequate within your family or home, often believing your efforts were unnoticed. Healing: Focus on creating a home environment that doesn’t demand perfection. Healing comes from accepting and being at peace with the imperfections of family life and emotional connections.

5th House:Wound: You may feel insecure about your creativity or find it hard to enjoy life’s pleasures, fearing you're not good enough creatively or romantically. Healing: Embrace your creative and playful side without the need for perfection. Healing comes from allowing yourself to express and enjoy without judgment or the pressure to be flawless.

6th House:Wound: You may feel inadequate in your work or health routines, constantly feeling like you’re not doing enough. Healing: Healing comes from embracing balance in your work and health. Learn that your best is enough, and overworking or overthinking won’t bring you the peace you seek.

7th House:Wound: You may feel inadequate in relationships, constantly worrying about not being the perfect partner or feeling like you have to fix your partner. Healing: Accept imperfection in both yourself and your partner. Healing comes from appreciating relationships for what they are, without trying to perfect or control them.

8th House:Wound: You may fear vulnerability in intimacy, worrying that you are flawed in deep emotional or sexual connections. Healing: Embrace vulnerability and trust that true intimacy involves imperfection. Healing comes from accepting your deeper self as enough without the need to hide or fix anything.

9th House:Wound: You may feel inadequate in your beliefs or philosophical views, constantly doubting if your ideas are good enough. Healing: Embrace curiosity and lifelong learning without needing all the answers. Healing comes from letting go of the need for perfection in your pursuit of knowledge.

10th House:Wound: You may feel insecure about your career, fearing that your efforts are never enough or that you’ll fail in the eyes of society. Healing: Accept your career path as a journey, not a reflection of your worth. Healing comes from doing your best without striving for unattainable perfection and trusting in your abilities.

11th House:Wound: You may feel out of place in social or group settings, believing you don’t fit in or that your contributions aren’t valuable. Healing: Embrace your unique contributions to groups and trust that your imperfections are what make you valuable. Healing comes from finding comfort in your own authenticity within a community.

12th House:Wound: You may feel inadequate in your spiritual life, fearing that you’ll never reach the “perfect” state of enlightenment or spiritual fulfillment. Healing: Embrace your spiritual journey as an evolving process, not a race to perfection. Healing comes from trusting that your spiritual path, with all its imperfections, is part of a greater whole.

𝐋𝐢𝐛𝐫𝐚 𝐂𝐡𝐢𝐫𝐨𝐧

Chiron in Libra brings wounds around relationships, balance, and fairness. People with this placement may struggle with feelings of inadequacy in partnerships, fearing rejection or conflict. There is often a deep wound tied to the need for harmony, where individuals feel responsible for maintaining peace but have difficulty asserting their own needs. This can lead to challenges in balancing self-care with care for others, as well as a fear of abandonment or being unloved if they don't keep the peace. Healing requires establishing healthy boundaries and learning to assert yourself in relationships without the fear of rejection or conflict. It's essential to recognize that maintaining harmony doesn’t mean sacrificing your own needs. Cultivating self-love and understanding that you deserve fairness and balance in relationships is key to healing codependency, insecurity, and the fear of conflict.

Through the Houses

1st House:Wound: You may feel insecure about how you are perceived in relationships, often feeling like you need to change yourself to be loved or accepted. Healing: Embrace your individuality and learn to assert your needs without fear. Healing comes from balancing your own desires with the needs of others, without losing yourself.

2nd House:Wound: You may struggle with self-worth, feeling that your value in relationships depends on how much others appreciate you. Healing: Build a sense of self-worth that doesn’t rely on external approval. Healing comes from recognizing your intrinsic value and knowing you don’t need others to validate it.

3rd House:Wound: You may feel insecure about sharing your thoughts or opinions in relationships, fearing disagreement or conflict. Healing: Learn to communicate your ideas confidently, even if it leads to disagreement. Healing comes from trusting that your voice matters and contributes to healthy relationships.

4th House:Wound: The wound may arise from instability or imbalance in your family life, where relationships may have lacked harmony or emotional security. Healing: Focus on creating emotional security within your home. Healing comes from finding balance in family dynamics and asserting your emotional needs without fear.

5th House:Wound: You may struggle with expressing your creativity or romance, often fearing rejection or imbalance in your love life. Healing: Embrace your creative self-expression and love without striving for perfection. Healing comes from trusting that passion and balance can coexist in romantic relationships.

6th House:Wound: The wound may manifest in your work relationships or daily routines, where you feel pressured to keep the peace at the expense of your own well-being. Healing: Set healthy boundaries in your work life and daily routines. Healing comes from recognizing that you don’t have to overextend yourself to be valued.

7th House:Wound: You may fear abandonment or conflict in close partnerships, often suppressing your own needs to maintain harmony. Healing: Learn to assert your needs in relationships without fearing the loss of connection. Healing comes from creating partnerships that respect both your needs and the other person’s.

8th House:Wound: You may fear emotional or financial vulnerability, feeling the need to control situations to avoid conflict or loss in relationships. Healing: Embrace vulnerability and learn to share emotional and material resources in a balanced way. Healing comes from trusting that mutual respect can foster deep emotional bonds.

9th House:Wound: You may feel insecure about expressing your beliefs or ideals in relationships, fearing judgment or rejection. Healing: Stand firm in your beliefs while being open to others’ perspectives. Healing comes from recognizing that differing viewpoints can exist harmoniously within relationships.

10th House:Wound: You may feel insecure about asserting yourself in your public life or career, fearing that doing so could disrupt professional relationships. Healing: Learn to assert your needs and ambitions in your career without fearing conflict. Healing comes from trusting that you can achieve success without sacrificing harmony in professional relationships.

11th House:Wound: You may feel disconnected or unappreciated in social groups or communities, often feeling pressure to conform to be accepted. Healing: Embrace your unique contributions within group settings. Healing comes from trusting that you can maintain your individuality while being a valued part of a balanced community.

12th House:Wound: You may feel isolated or disconnected in relationships, often struggling with unconscious fears of abandonment or a lack of balance in spiritual connections. Healing: Develop a deep connection with yourself and your spiritual side. Healing comes from trusting the natural flow of relationships and allowing emotional and spiritual connections to form without fear of loss.

𝐒𝐜𝐨𝐫𝐩𝐢𝐨 𝐂𝐡𝐢𝐫𝐨𝐧

Chiron in Scorpio signifies deep emotional wounds connected to power, control, intimacy, and transformation. Those with this placement often experience fears surrounding vulnerability, trust, and the potential for betrayal or abandonment. There can be an overwhelming desire to maintain control in relationships or life situations, leading to difficulty in allowing emotional intimacy or surrendering to change. These wounds may manifest as challenges in trusting others, resistance to transformation, and an intense fear of losing emotional or material power. Healing begins by embracing vulnerability and recognizing that true power stems from within, not from controlling external situations or people. Trusting in the process of transformation and letting go of the need for constant control is essential. Healing also involves forming deep emotional connections without fearing betrayal or loss, and understanding that emotional intimacy is a strength rather than a weakness.

Through the Houses

1st House:Wound: You may feel insecure about your personal power or worry about how others perceive your intensity, fearing rejection if you reveal your true self. Healing: Embrace your emotional depth and intensity as assets. Healing comes from trusting that you can be vulnerable and authentic without losing control or being rejected.

2nd House:Wound: Insecurity around material resources or fear of losing control over personal security may dominate, causing anxiety about stability. Healing: Develop inner security that isn’t dependent on external resources. Healing comes from trusting your ability to rebuild and regenerate, even after loss or financial setbacks.

3rd House:Wound: You may feel uncomfortable expressing your deeper emotions or thoughts, fearing that others will misunderstand or judge you. Healing: Learn to communicate your emotional truths confidently. Healing comes from trusting in the power of your words and allowing yourself to be vulnerable in your communication with others.

4th House:Wound: Deep emotional pain or issues of control may have been present in your family or home life, leading to feelings of betrayal or insecurity. Healing: Create a safe emotional space within your home and family. Healing comes from letting go of the need to control family dynamics and trusting in the power of emotional vulnerability.

5th House:Wound: You may struggle with expressing your creative passions or fears of rejection in romance, hesitating to open up or be vulnerable. Healing: Allow yourself to take risks in both creativity and love. Healing comes from embracing your passions without fear of betrayal, knowing that your self-expression is powerful and transformative.

6th House:Wound: Feelings of inadequacy may arise in your work or health, with fears of losing control over your body or daily routines. Healing: Trust in your body’s natural ability to heal and regenerate. Healing comes from finding balance in your routines and letting go of perfectionism or the need to control every detail in your work.

7th House:Wound: You may fear emotional vulnerability in close partnerships, feeling a need to maintain control to prevent betrayal or abandonment. Healing: Healing comes from trusting the emotional depth of your partnerships. Allow yourself to be vulnerable, understanding that true intimacy requires letting go of control.

8th House:Wound: Fear of losing control in matters of intimacy, shared resources, or personal transformation can lead to issues with trust and power dynamics. Healing: Embrace vulnerability and trust in the power of shared emotional and material resources. Healing comes from allowing deep emotional connections without fearing betrayal or loss.

9th House:Wound: You may feel insecure about exploring deeper philosophical or spiritual truths, fearing judgment or losing control over your belief systems. Healing: Trust in the transformative power of your spiritual and philosophical journey. Healing comes from embracing change and allowing your beliefs to evolve as you grow.

10th House:Wound: Fear of losing control or being betrayed in your career or public life may lead to challenges with trust and power dynamics in professional settings. Healing: Learn to trust in your resilience and ability to rise, even after career setbacks. Healing comes from embracing vulnerability in your professional life and using it to fuel growth.

11th House:Wound: You may feel powerless or betrayed in group settings, social circles, or communities, leading to fears of rejection or manipulation. Healing: Embrace your role and power in group dynamics. Healing comes from trusting that you can contribute meaningfully to the collective and allowing yourself to be vulnerable in friendships and social connections.

12th House:Wound: Fears of losing control to unconscious emotions, spiritual crises, or the unknown may leave you feeling powerless or overwhelmed. Healing: Embrace the transformative power of the subconscious and trust in the spiritual journey. Healing comes from surrendering control and allowing the natural flow of emotional and spiritual growth to guide you.

𝐒𝐚𝐠𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐮𝐬 𝐂𝐡𝐢𝐫𝐨𝐧

Chiron in Sagittarius represents wounds tied to beliefs, freedom, and the search for truth. Individuals with this placement may struggle with feelings of inadequacy in their understanding of life’s purpose, personal freedom, and their own philosophical or spiritual beliefs. They may fear not having the "right" answers or feel limited in their ability to live authentically. These wounds can manifest as insecurity about one’s worldview, fear of being judged for one’s beliefs, or difficulty in feeling free to explore new ideas and experiences. Healing comes from embracing your personal truth and realizing that there is no singular path to wisdom or freedom. Trusting your own spiritual or philosophical journey, rather than seeking external validation, is essential. You heal by accepting that life’s meaning is subjective, embracing diverse perspectives, and allowing yourself the freedom to explore without fear of judgment or failure.

Through the Houses

1st House:Wound: You may feel insecure about your identity, especially when expressing your beliefs or personal truth, fearing that others will judge or reject you. Healing: Embrace your unique perspective and trust in your personal truth. Healing comes from confidently expressing your authentic self without seeking external validation.

2nd House:Wound: Insecurity may revolve around personal values or the fear of not being "enough" in terms of what you believe or possess. Healing: Develop a sense of inner worth that isn’t tied to material success or societal approval. Healing comes from trusting your personal values and believing in your inner abundance.

3rd House:Wound: You may feel insecure about communicating your beliefs or ideas, fearing they are not valid or worthy of being heard. Healing: Trust in your intellect and share your ideas openly. Healing comes from learning to communicate your beliefs with confidence and embracing the value of your thoughts.

4th House:Wound: You may feel disconnected from your family’s belief systems or struggle to find your place within your home’s philosophical or cultural framework. Healing: Create your own sense of spiritual or philosophical belonging. Healing comes from building a home environment that reflects your truth and supports emotional security.

5th House:Wound: You may fear expressing your beliefs or philosophies through creative endeavors, worrying about being judged for your passions. Healing: Allow yourself to express your beliefs through creativity without fear of rejection. Healing comes from embracing the joy of exploring your passions and trusting that your unique perspective can inspire others.

6th House:Wound: You may feel restricted in your work or daily routines, believing they limit your ability to explore new ideas or personal freedom. Healing: Integrate your need for freedom into your daily life and work. Healing comes from balancing routine with exploration and finding growth and learning opportunities in everyday tasks.

7th House:Wound: In relationships, you may feel insecure about your beliefs or philosophical outlook, fearing they will not be accepted by your partner. Healing: Embrace your personal truth in relationships. Healing comes from trusting that you can find partners who honor your beliefs while respecting theirs, allowing room for mutual growth.

8th House:Wound: You may fear sharing your deeper spiritual or philosophical beliefs in intimate relationships, worrying about betrayal or judgment. Healing: Healing comes from trusting in the transformative power of shared beliefs. Embrace vulnerability in your intimate connections, allowing for deep emotional and spiritual bonding.

9th House:Wound: You may feel insecure about your philosophical, spiritual, or religious beliefs, worrying that your worldview is flawed or that you don’t have the "right" answers. Healing: Embrace the diversity of belief systems and trust your spiritual journey. Healing comes from allowing yourself the freedom to explore new philosophies and accepting that wisdom is an evolving process.

10th House:Wound: You may feel insecure about expressing your beliefs or philosophy in your career or public life, fearing that others will judge your values. Healing: Boldly embrace your beliefs in your professional life. Healing comes from trusting that your worldview can guide your career and shape your public success.

11th House:Wound: You may feel disconnected from social groups or communities because of differences in beliefs or a sense of not fitting in. Healing: Find or create communities that resonate with your philosophical or spiritual ideals. Healing comes from trusting that your unique perspective can contribute meaningfully to the collective.

12th House:Wound: You may experience existential crises or feel disconnected from your spiritual path, fearing that you will never find true meaning or wisdom. Healing: Embrace the mysteries of life and trust your spiritual journey, even when it’s unclear. Healing comes from allowing yourself to explore the unknown with faith in the process.

𝐂𝐚𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐜𝐨𝐫𝐧 𝐂𝐡𝐢𝐫𝐨𝐧

Chiron in Capricorn represents wounds related to authority, responsibility, success, and structure. Individuals with this placement may struggle with feelings of inadequacy in their ability to meet responsibilities or achieve goals. There may be a fear of failure, judgment from society, or not being able to live up to high standards. These wounds can manifest as an overwhelming pressure to succeed, insecurity in leadership roles, or difficulty balancing personal ambitions with emotional needs. Healing comes from redefining success on your own terms and releasing the need for external validation. Learning to balance personal and professional life, and understanding that your worth isn’t tied to achievements or societal approval, is crucial. Developing a sense of inner authority and trusting your ability to take responsibility without self-criticism will help heal wounds related to control, status, and success.

Through the Houses

1st House:Wound: You may feel insecure about how others perceive your competence or authority, often fearing that you won’t be respected. Healing: Embrace your unique leadership style and trust that you don’t need to be perfect to command respect. Healing comes from knowing that your presence is enough to be seen as an authority.

2nd House:Wound: You may feel insecure about material security or fear that you aren’t seen as stable or successful enough by others. Healing: Build inner security by trusting in your ability to create abundance without needing to prove your worth through material achievements. Healing comes from valuing yourself beyond external measures of success.

3rd House:Wound: You may struggle with feeling inadequate in communicating your ideas or feel judged for how you express yourself in intellectual or social situations. Healing: Trust in your voice and wisdom, knowing that success doesn’t require perfection. Healing comes from embracing communication without fear of judgment and recognizing your ideas as valuable.

4th House:Wound: Feelings of inadequacy in your home life or family dynamics may lead to a fear of emotional or material instability. Healing: Focus on creating emotional and material stability for yourself. Healing comes from trusting that you can build a nurturing home environment without the need for perfection or control.

5th House:Wound: You may fear that your creative talents or passions won’t lead to recognition or success, causing you to hold back. Healing: Allow yourself to express your creativity without needing external validation. Healing comes from recognizing that your passions and creativity are valuable, even if they don’t conform to traditional ideas of success.

6th House:Wound: You may feel overwhelmed by responsibilities in your work or daily routines, fearing that you’re not managing them well enough. Healing: Healing comes from finding balance between work and self-care. Trust that you can handle your responsibilities without overburdening yourself, and recognize that success includes taking care of your well-being.

7th House:Wound: Insecurity in relationships may lead you to fear failure in partnerships or feel that you can’t maintain balanced, successful relationships. Healing: Heal by accepting that relationships don’t need to be perfect to succeed. Trust that balance in partnerships comes from emotional harmony and understanding, not control.

8th House:Wound: You may fear losing control in intimate relationships or shared resources, leading to insecurity in trusting others deeply. Healing: Embrace the power of vulnerability in relationships. Healing comes from trusting that you can navigate shared emotional and material responsibilities without fear of betrayal or loss of control.

9th House:Wound: You may feel insecure about your beliefs or spiritual journey, fearing that you’re not on the “right” path to success or enlightenment. Healing: Trust in your unique spiritual or philosophical journey. Healing comes from embracing your personal path, even if it doesn’t align with societal or traditional expectations.

10th House:Wound: You may feel insecure about your career or public image, fearing that you’ll never achieve the success or respect you desire. Healing: Define success on your own terms and trust in the value of your efforts. Healing comes from allowing yourself to take on leadership roles without fear of failure or judgment.

11th House:Wound: You may feel like an outsider in social or group settings, fearing that you won’t find success or acceptance in communities or networks. Healing: Trust in your ability to contribute to social groups. Healing comes from finding communities that appreciate your unique talents and collaborating without striving for perfection.

12th House:Wound: You may feel disconnected from your spiritual or inner life, fearing that you’ll never find peace or success in these realms. Healing: Surrender to the natural flow of life and trust in your spiritual journey. Healing comes from letting go of control and embracing the process of spiritual and emotional growth.

𝐀𝐪𝐮𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐮𝐬 𝐂𝐡𝐢𝐫𝐨𝐧

Chiron in Aquarius represents wounds around individuality, community, and belonging. People with this placement often struggle with feeling different or out of place within groups, social circles, or society as a whole. There is a deep fear of rejection or alienation, rooted in feeling misunderstood or not fitting in. These wounds can lead to insecurity about expressing one’s uniqueness or ideas, feeling disconnected from social groups, or fearing judgment for having unconventional beliefs or behaviors. Healing comes from embracing your individuality and recognizing that your uniqueness is a source of strength. Trust that you can contribute meaningfully to communities and social groups without needing to conform. By valuing your vision and understanding that being different is not a flaw but a gift, you begin to heal. Finding or creating spaces where your ideas and values are appreciated, and where you can connect with like-minded people, is also essential.

Through the Houses

1st House:Wound: You may feel insecure about how you present yourself to the world, fearing that your individuality will lead to rejection or alienation. Healing: Embrace your uniqueness and trust that it is a gift. Healing comes from confidently showing the world your true self without seeking approval from others.

2nd House:Wound: You may struggle with feelings of inadequacy related to self-worth, particularly around your unconventional values or unique way of thinking. Healing: Develop a sense of self-worth that isn’t tied to societal expectations or material success. Healing comes from trusting in the value of your perspective and ideas.

3rd House:Wound: You may feel insecure about expressing unconventional ideas or fear that your thoughts will be misunderstood or dismissed. Healing: Embrace your unique intellect and communicate your ideas freely. Healing comes from trusting that your thoughts can inspire others and are valuable.

4th House:Wound: Feelings of being different or disconnected from your family or home environment may have left you feeling like you didn’t belong. Healing: Create your own sense of belonging and build a home that reflects your individuality. Healing comes from forming an emotional foundation where you feel supported and accepted.

5th House:Wound: You may struggle with expressing your creative or romantic side, fearing rejection for your unconventional approach to love or self-expression. Healing: Allow yourself to express creativity and passion without fear of judgment. Healing comes from trusting that your unique expressions of love and creativity are valuable and worthy of acceptance.

6th House:Wound: You may feel out of place in work or daily routines, struggling to fit into conventional environments or feeling that your individuality is not appreciated. Healing: Create work environments and routines that honor your individuality. Healing comes from recognizing that your unconventional approach can bring innovation and value to any work setting.

7th House:Wound: You may feel insecure about your ability to maintain balanced relationships, fearing that your individuality may be too much for others. Healing: Embrace your uniqueness in relationships and trust that you can find partners who honor and appreciate your individuality. Healing comes from building relationships where both partners’ uniqueness is celebrated.

8th House:Wound: You may fear vulnerability or intimacy, especially when it comes to sharing your unconventional ideas or emotions. Healing: Embrace the power of vulnerability in emotional and intellectual connections. Healing comes from trusting that meaningful relationships can be built on sharing your true self, even when it feels unconventional.

9th House:Wound: You may feel insecure about your beliefs or ideals, particularly if they are unconventional or differ from mainstream views. Healing: Embrace your unique philosophical or spiritual journey. Healing comes from trusting that your beliefs, no matter how unconventional, are valid and can lead to personal growth.

10th House:Wound: You may feel insecure about your career or public image, fearing that your unconventional approach will not be accepted or respected by society. Healing: Embrace your originality in your professional life. Healing comes from trusting that your unique vision can lead to success and contribute something new and valuable to the world.

11th House:Wound: You may feel disconnected from social groups or communities, fearing that you don’t fit in or aren’t appreciated for your individuality. Healing: Find or create communities that appreciate your uniqueness. Healing comes from trusting that you can form meaningful connections with those who share your values and vision.

12th House:Wound: You may feel isolated or disconnected from the collective unconscious or spiritual realm, fearing that your unique spiritual insights are not valid or accepted. Healing: Trust in your intuitive and spiritual journey. Healing comes from exploring life’s mysteries with confidence, knowing that your unique insights can bring valuable wisdom to others.

𝐏𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐞𝐬 𝐂𝐡𝐢𝐫𝐨𝐧

Chiron in Pisces reflects deep wounds related to spirituality, compassion, and the connection to the collective unconscious. Individuals with this placement may feel a profound sense of spiritual or emotional disconnection, yearning for unity but struggling with feelings of isolation, confusion, or helplessness. They may also experience wounds surrounding sensitivity, compassion, and the ability to trust in the flow of life. These wounds often manifest as difficulty setting boundaries, fear of being overwhelmed by emotions, or feeling that they must always sacrifice themselves for others. Healing for Chiron in Pisces comes through embracing your spiritual path, learning to trust in the unseen, and developing healthy boundaries. Recognizing that your sensitivity and compassion are powerful strengths, not weaknesses, is vital. You must learn to accept that you don’t need to carry the burdens of the world. Healing involves surrendering to the flow of life while also prioritizing your emotional and spiritual needs, allowing for balance between self-care and compassion for others.

Through the Houses

1st House:Wound: You may feel insecure about your identity, overwhelmed by your sensitivity, and unsure of how to assert yourself in a world that feels overwhelming. Healing: Embrace your sensitivity as a unique gift and ground yourself in your spiritual identity. Healing comes from trusting your intuition and allowing your inner wisdom to guide you.

2nd House:Wound: You may feel that your worth is tied to your ability to sacrifice or serve others, often questioning your value. Healing: Develop a sense of inner worth that is not reliant on external validation or self-sacrifice. Healing comes from trusting in your inherent value and allowing yourself to receive as well as give.

3rd House:Wound: You may struggle to express your thoughts or spiritual insights, feeling misunderstood or unable to communicate your deeper emotions. Healing: Trust in your voice and allow yourself to share your compassionate and intuitive thoughts. Healing comes from learning to communicate your spiritual truth with clarity and confidence.

4th House:Wound: You may feel emotionally disconnected or unstable within your home or family life, often sacrificing your own needs for the sake of others. Healing: Create a foundation that nurtures your emotional and spiritual needs. Healing comes from finding inner peace and emotional security within yourself rather than relying on external sources.

5th House:Wound: You may feel overwhelmed by fear of rejection or inadequacy when it comes to expressing your creativity or romantic feelings. Healing: Allow yourself to express creativity and love without fear of judgment. Healing comes from trusting that your artistic and romantic expressions are valid and deserving of appreciation.

6th House:Wound: You may feel burdened by daily responsibilities or work, often sacrificing your well-being for the sake of others. Healing: Create balanced routines that nurture your emotional and spiritual renewal. Healing comes from learning to care for yourself while maintaining compassion and service for others, without overextending yourself.

7th House:Wound: You may feel insecure in relationships, often sacrificing your needs or boundaries to maintain peace and connection. Healing: Develop healthy boundaries in relationships and trust in your ability to maintain deep connections without losing yourself. Healing comes from allowing vulnerability without feeling the need for self-sacrifice.

8th House:Wound: You may fear deep emotional or spiritual vulnerability, worrying about betrayal, loss, or transformation. Healing: Embrace the transformative power of emotional and spiritual intimacy. Healing comes from trusting in the process of emotional depth and transformation, allowing vulnerability without fear of dissolution.

9th House:Wound: You may feel insecure about your spiritual or philosophical beliefs, fearing that your worldview is too unconventional or emotionally charged. Healing: Embrace your unique spiritual path and trust in your inner wisdom. Healing comes from allowing yourself the freedom to explore your beliefs without fear of being misunderstood.

10th House:Wound: You may feel insecure about your ability to succeed in your career, fearing that your spiritual or compassionate nature won’t be valued in professional settings. Healing: Trust in the value of your compassionate and intuitive gifts. Healing comes from integrating your spiritual self into your career and recognizing that sensitivity can lead to meaningful success.

11th House:Wound: You may feel disconnected from social groups or communities, fearing that your emotional sensitivity makes you too different to fit in. Healing: Find or create communities that honor your spiritual and emotional sensitivity. Healing comes from forming meaningful connections with like-minded individuals who appreciate your compassionate ideals.

12th House:Wound: You may feel overwhelmed by unconscious fears, spiritual disconnection, or existential confusion, struggling with feelings of isolation. Healing: Healing comes from surrendering to the flow of life and trusting in a deeper spiritual connection. Embrace spiritual practices that bring you peace and help you connect to the collective unconscious.

Masterlist - YouTube (subliminals)

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